Episode 53

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Published on:

17th Oct 2024

The Crow: Salvation

Have you been saved? Kyle, Seth, and Drew delve into the third installment of "The Crow" series, "The Crow: Salvation," highlighting its surprisingly positive reception compared to its predecessor, "City of Angels." The hosts discuss how the film successfully redeemed itself even with its straight-to-DVD status, with interesting character arcs and some standout performances, particularly from then-unknown Walton Goggins and Tim Decay. They explore the film's unique approach to the crow's resurrection powers, noting the creative twist with the character's mask and the overall aesthetic choices that set it apart from the earlier entries. Despite some criticisms regarding the lack of depth in the villains and the film's pacing, the hosts appreciate the entertaining moments and the thematic elements of revenge and justice. Ultimately, they conclude that "The Crow: Salvation" offers a refreshing take within the franchise, even if it doesn't reach the heights of the original film.

A captivating dissection of 'The Crow: Salvation' unfolds as the hosts of the Movie Wars podcast — Kyle, Seph, and Drew — embark on an exploration of this sequel's narrative and thematic depths. The conversation kicks off with a focus on the film's central character, Alex Corvus, as portrayed by Eric Mabius. The hosts examine his journey from wrongful execution to seeking vengeance, discussing the moral implications of resurrection and revenge. They highlight the performances of young Kirsten Dunst and Walton Goggins, noting how their talent brings a level of gravitas to the film that elevates it despite its flaws. The hosts admire Goggins’ portrayal of a corrupt cop, offering a nuanced perspective on the character's motivations and the film's critique of systemic corruption.


As the dialogue progresses, the hosts delve into the film's visual presentation, contrasting it with the original Crow and its sequel. They critique the cinematography, particularly the color grading and overall aesthetic, which they feel detracts from the film's potential. The discussion brings to light how the film's lower budget may have limited its creative execution, leading to a less engaging visual experience. They also reflect on the film’s pacing and structure, acknowledging the struggle to maintain tension and interest in the latter half of the film. This analysis is punctuated with humor and shared anecdotes, making for an entertaining and enlightening listening experience.


Toward the conclusion of the episode, the hosts ponder the legacy of 'The Crow: Salvation' within the franchise. They express a shared hope for a future reboot, one that could potentially reconcile the narrative and aesthetic inconsistencies of the sequels while honoring the original's legacy. This episode stands as a testament to the hosts' ability to blend critical analysis with humor, providing listeners with a rich understanding of the film and its place in cinematic history. Their engaging banter and thoughtful reflections ensure that fans of the series will find this discussion both informative and entertaining.

Takeaways:

  • The podcast discusses the evolution of the crow franchise, highlighting the differences in tone and quality among the sequels.
  • Listeners learn about the creative decisions behind the crow's mask design, which deviates from previous films.
  • The hosts express their enjoyment of the unexpected car crash scene, praising its execution and impact.
  • There's a strong emphasis on character development, particularly in the portrayal of villains across the series.
  • The discussion reveals insights into the actors' performances, noting how they handled their roles despite a weak script.
  • The hosts critique the lack of cohesive world-building in the third installment, arguing it affects the overall narrative.
Transcript
Kyle:

Movie wars.

Kyle:

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the movie wars podcast.

Kyle:

I'm your host.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Woo.

Drew:

Yeah, we did.

Kyle:

Yeah, we did.

Drew:

Third episode.

Drew:

There's a lot more for everybody else.

Kyle:

Yes.

Kyle:

Yes.

Kyle:

Can you turn that fucking baby down?

Kyle:

This is Kyle.

Seph:

I'm Seph.

Drew:

And I'm Drew.

Kyle:

That's the only quote that's worth.

Kyle:

Walton Goggins just randomly swinging to the fences with a turn the fucking baby down quote.

Seph:

You can't get any better than that.

Seph:

I literally didn't even write down a single quote from this movie.

Drew:

That was a good one.

Kyle:

Well, here's one you've got to value your life, says Eric.

Kyle:

Maybe is the hallmark actor to Kirsten Dunst, who has a long career and eventually gets in a Von Trier film.

Drew:

And it was because of that quote.

Drew:

She really took it in.

Drew:

And it's like, you know what?

Drew:

I need to.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Von Trier called her instant is like, listen, I saw what you did with the maybes kid.

Kyle:

Yeah, I like Hallmark, too, but I also like the Antichrist, Willem Dafoe.

Seph:

Please be depressed in this movie.

Drew:

Please be melancholy.

Drew:

Her awkward, sad development from the beginning to the end where she was like, totally cool murdering the dude.

Drew:

I enjoyed watching that.

Drew:

Like, I was like, yeah, that makes sense.

Drew:

If all this stuff was happening, like, you wouldn't be okay.

Drew:

And we don't end with her like, oh, she's fine.

Drew:

We end with, like, I hope there's good therapy that the crow knows, or sounds like he was kind of trying to be the therapist there.

Seph:

But, you know, for those of you who watched last week's episode and watched us completely eviscerate the crow city of angels, you'll be a little surprised.

Seph:

We actually have some positive things to say about the crow salvation.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah.

Kyle:

And why it's called the crow's salvation.

Kyle:

Salvation from what?

Kyle:

The masterpiece.

Kyle:

That was the first one.

Seph:

Why are we still.

Drew:

We need it.

Drew:

They were like, please, if this is.

Kyle:

Salvation, then I'm losing my religion.

Kyle:

To quote Michael Stipe.

Kyle:

And I was telling the guys before this, the poster, the original poster says in quotation, you know, they always have quotations on the poster.

Kyle:

The best of the Crow sequels, all two of them.

Kyle:

And that's by dedcommentary.com.

Kyle:

and this is in:

Kyle:

Primitive Internet and the best of the two.

Kyle:

And it's like, please watch this movie.

Drew:

We promise.

Drew:

It's not like.

Seph:

So, wait, they made that quote five years after the movie came out?

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Well, no, well, whatever.

Kyle:

Yeah, well.

Kyle:

Oh, yeah.

Kyle:

This is:

Kyle:

Sorry, wicked prayer is:

Kyle:

Sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kyle:

Mistake:

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

But five years later, people are finally like, this is the best one.

Kyle:

Oh, man.

Seph:

We've been disappointed before, but honestly, like.

Drew:

This was a fun movie.

Drew:

This was.

Drew:

It was.

Drew:

You know, I'm not gonna go on any kind of Reddit and be like, this was the best movie that's ever been made.

Drew:

But, like, I dare you.

Drew:

I watched it today.

Drew:

I was sitting down, I was drinking coffee.

Drew:

It was early in the morning and it was chilled.

Drew:

I was like, this is a fun for what it is.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

It started so strong.

Seph:

Unfortunately, did kind of unravel by the end, but it had, of the two sequels we've now seen, it definitely had the most potential to live up to its first.

Drew:

It was the best of the sequels.

Seph:

Yeah, yeah.

Kyle:

Well, they did something different here, which I appreciate it.

Seph:

I very much appreciated the whole mystery aspect to it.

Seph:

I thought it was very cool.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

If you listen to last week, they did a bunch of research and pulled the fans on message boards on how we could do this differently.

Kyle:

Didn't listen to any of it.

Kyle:

Did a copy and paste.

Kyle:

Even tried to make the guy look almost exactly.

Kyle:

Make Vince Perez look almost exactly like Brandon Lee.

Kyle:

They basically did, like 90% of the same formula here.

Kyle:

This is a.

Kyle:

This is a semi.

Kyle:

This is a straight to vhs noir mystery film.

Kyle:

And let's be honest, he's not a great detective.

Kyle:

And apparently the crow isn't either.

Kyle:

But he's trying.

Seph:

Yes.

Seph:

I will say, of the two, I'm disappointing that.

Seph:

This is the one that went straight to dvd.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

The first one or the, you know, city of angels should definitely have not gone.

Drew:

That one could have gone to dvd.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

VCR at the time, I guess.

Drew:

I don't know this.

Kyle:

With more resources, with a little more budget, maybe with a better actor could have done.

Kyle:

And there's some stuff I got some randos that might have told you where they thought this film could have been originally.

Seph:

Okay.

Kyle:

Well, actually, kind of.

Kyle:

Yeah, I kind of.

Kyle:

It might give you some insights.

Kyle:

But, yeah, this is.

Kyle:

It's a.

Kyle:

More of a murder mystery.

Kyle:

We have a different way.

Kyle:

We get the mask, you know, instead of painting it on.

Kyle:

It's scarring.

Drew:

Yeah.

Drew:

Which.

Seph:

Okay, just since we're talking about that already.

Seph:

I thought him ripping his face off was stupid as hell.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah.

Seph:

But the resulting scars being in the shape of the crow makeup, I thought was a genius move to avoid the stupidity of someone else painting on, like.

Kyle:

Painting it on his face, having some daughter figure some.

Kyle:

Some straddle you and paint it on for some reason.

Seph:

Yes.

Seph:

Weirdly sexual, but never sexual at the same time.

Kyle:

Yes.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

No, this.

Seph:

This did not do that.

Drew:

And.

Seph:

And I think it looked better, too.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

I agree.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

Like, the fact that there were, there were multiple scars on.

Seph:

On that part of the face.

Seph:

It wasn't just the straight through line.

Seph:

Again, like, I felt like they actually put some better thought into this one.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

The crow gods knew what they were doing.

Seph:

Absolutely.

Drew:

They were, they learned from the.

Drew:

They were like, this is gonna be the best sequel ever.

Drew:

Right from the beginning of the movie, it, like, it had my interest because it was a different story.

Drew:

It was a dude on death row falsely accused.

Seph:

Yep.

Drew:

And then one thing.

Drew:

One thing I thought about when I was watching the movie, because in the first.

Drew:

When we watched the first one, one of the things I said I liked was I was like, it's fun seeing, like, the cops as, like, the good guys.

Drew:

Like, they were actually with this movie.

Drew:

Like, and we're back.

Seph:

Yeah, the police.

Kyle:

And these are, these are not good bad cops.

Kyle:

You know, Scorsese has his go to dirty cops, is, like, his mobster guys he cast in every movie.

Drew:

That first one, man, I was like, like, right.

Drew:

I was like, oh, we're going there.

Drew:

Like, that's why I like to.

Drew:

Okay, cool.

Drew:

I'm digging the creepy cop.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Why?

Kyle:

When does a cough get.

Kyle:

Or a cup or.

Kyle:

God, when does that.

Kyle:

Thank you, old granddad.

Kyle:

When does a cop get to unbutton the collar and get the wife beater hanging out?

Kyle:

Like, when is that a thing?

Seph:

Oh, my God.

Seph:

I gotta say.

Seph:

And I'm sure you have to either.

Drew:

Be a dirty cop or you have to be, like, an old cop.

Drew:

Like, the lethal weapon.

Seph:

Like, I'm tired.

Drew:

Like, that's when you can do the wife beater.

Kyle:

I'm too old to button this shirt up.

Drew:

Yeah.

Drew:

We're like, don't mess with him.

Drew:

He doesn't button his shirt.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

I will say, I'm sure you're gonna get to this later, and so we can cover this in more detail later.

Seph:

However, this is the first time I have been impressed by the supporting cast.

Drew:

Yes.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

Such a stacked lineup.

Seph:

Walton Goggins, who has now become one of the most recognizable actors around.

Seph:

Tim Decay, who eventually got his fame in white collar playing Peter Burke.

Drew:

In that, I kept thinking of Peter Burke.

Drew:

I was like, this is his origin story.

Seph:

It's his origin story, but also the complete opposite of who he is later.

Seph:

I loved seeing him in a position where he's not the good guy, where he is a genuinely awful piece of shit.

Seph:

So I think people were so well utilized in this movie.

Kyle:

A young Kirsten Dunst.

Drew:

Yes, she did great.

Drew:

She was.

Drew:

She was post.

Seph:

Bring it on.

Seph:

Pre Spider man.

Kyle:

Yep.

Kyle:

Pre melancholia.

Seph:

It's funny because recently she's been coming out and talking about the pay disparity between her and Tobey Maguire, which already I thought was funny because the movie's called Spider man.

Seph:

The movie's not called Mary Jane.

Drew:

He's the lead actor.

Seph:

Literally.

Seph:

But she was like, I was already.

Seph:

And bring it on.

Seph:

Like, I should have gotten more money.

Seph:

I'm like, yes, but you were also in the crow's salvation when she's like.

Drew:

I wasn't bringing on.

Drew:

People were like, are you trying to tell us you should get paid less?

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

What are you.

Kyle:

And we got William Atherton.

Kyle:

And we got Fred Ward.

Kyle:

You know, Fred Ward's like, you know, a post.

Kyle:

A post taxi drive.

Kyle:

Well, I guess you could say post 90.

Kyle:

He's like.

Kyle:

He's like Robert De Niro, light post nineties.

Kyle:

You know what I mean?

Kyle:

He's like, you know, if you could, like, buy discount Robert De Niro at the Dollar general, you would get Fred Ward.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And meets John what's his face to play the Punisher.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

John Bernthal.

Kyle:

He's like John Bernthal mixed with.

Kyle:

He's like a less talented John Bernthal mixed with discount Robert De Niro.

Drew:

Yeah, that.

Drew:

That was fun in this, because I'm not.

Drew:

I don't.

Drew:

I have a hard time remember actor and actress names for the life of me, but, like, it's.

Drew:

I can identify them from, like, what movie?

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

And so, like, just having never seen this movie before, and.

Drew:

And I've really enjoyed with this series as we've been doing this rewatch.

Drew:

I do as.

Drew:

I do my best to learn as little as possible before I watch the movie.

Drew:

I love that I can just, like, take it all in for the first time, which was such a disappointment last week, but fun for this week, you.

Kyle:

Know, or you might not actually watch it.

Kyle:

It's like you're like, well, if the water's that cold, I don't think I'm gonna swim today.

Drew:

So this was.

Drew:

Cause, like, I had no idea that, like, all this all star cast was here, and it's before a lot of them are all stars.

Drew:

And so it was just fun.

Drew:

Like, who's gonna be in showing up next?

Seph:

So, yeah, this last week, I was mad that I spent the $4 to rent city of Angels this week.

Seph:

I was not mad about it.

Drew:

You're like, this is worth $4.

Kyle:

Wait till you spend $19.99 to rent the reboot.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

Oh, boy.

Drew:

Guys, Pluto tv is free, and all the crows are on it.

Kyle:

Really?

Seph:

Even the new one?

Drew:

The whole murder?

Drew:

Maybe not the newer one.

Drew:

Maybe, maybe not.

Drew:

I haven't, but every.

Drew:

But I feel like all the originals, and then, like, honestly, like, online, just type the movie and then watch free online?

Drew:

Like.

Kyle:

Okay.

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Police.

Seph:

Yeah, you can arrest this man.

Seph:

I do not condone pirating movies.

Seph:

You wouldn't download a car.

Seph:

Okay.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Or would you?

Seph:

Or would you?

Drew:

If you could, I 100% would download it.

Kyle:

I know kung fu.

Kyle:

You know, agreed with a lot of what you said, but the straight to vhs ver.

Kyle:

You know, idea of this, I will say one thing.

Kyle:

It is kind of like, you know, I know you're not a sports fan.

Kyle:

I haven't.

Kyle:

I don't know you well enough.

Kyle:

Do you like sports at all?

Seph:

I enjoy them, but I don't follow them.

Kyle:

I'm a die hard sports fan.

Kyle:

And.

Kyle:

No, I love sports jerseys.

Kyle:

And.

Kyle:

But they're really expensive.

Kyle:

And it's kind of like when you go to that chinese website thinking, maybe this thing will look exactly like I want.

Kyle:

I know it's only.

Kyle:

I know it's only $30, and I gotta buy 50 of them to cover the shipping from China, but maybe it will be the.

Kyle:

The cowboy jersey I want.

Kyle:

And it shows up and the numbers are backwards and the name played sideways.

Kyle:

It's the wrong shade of blue.

Seph:

It's Nikkei instead of Nike.

Drew:

And you commit to.

Drew:

You're like, what?

Drew:

I mean, it's fine.

Drew:

Like, I bought it.

Kyle:

Like, yeah, I'll wear this.

Kyle:

That's kind of what this is.

Kyle:

It's like, you know, it is.

Kyle:

You know, it's a straight division.

Kyle:

And we talked about, with the last episode with the City of Angels, they were going to do a widespread release of this film.

Kyle:

It only aired in one theater.

Kyle:

I think it was, like, in Spokane, some random city.

Kyle:

But it wasn't just the failure.

Kyle:

The first one was not profitable.

Kyle:

Although.

Kyle:

Although it was the biggest release on Labor Day, at the time it broke Labor Day records.

Kyle:

The fan base, the critics, it was.

Kyle:

It was just shat on, you know?

Kyle:

And it was two years removed from Brandon Lee, this cult figure, which some argue.

Kyle:

I don't agree with this, but some argue the reason the movie was so successful was because of his death.

Kyle:

I disagree.

Kyle:

I think it has merit on its own.

Kyle:

But say that is the case.

Kyle:

You gave it two years, Brandon Lee's barely settled in his grave, and they're already doing like.

Kyle:

And we got Harvey and Bob Weinstein cutting the thing up.

Drew:

Yeah.

Drew:

I was like, it's not like they did like, if they did it well after the two years, it might be like, wow, this was such a testament to.

Drew:

It'd be like a fast and furious seven, if you will.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

We're like, there's his contractually obligated fast and furious reference, ladies and gentlemen.

Drew:

It was a good tribute.

Drew:

It's the fact that it's like, if I just pooped in this cigarette tray, and if you're a listener, there's a cigarette tray in front of me.

Drew:

I'm not lying.

Drew:

And then I was like, here's my tribute.

Drew:

You'd be like, no.

Kyle:

Yes.

Seph:

Okay, I gotta talk about the cigar ashtray for a second.

Seph:

an antique cigar ashtray from:

Seph:

I just felt like it was very appropriate to remember that Pfizer was giving people cigarette and ashtrays.

Seph:

So take that as you will, ladies and gentlemen.

Kyle:

Yeah, inject that shit.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

A lot of people do.

Drew:

It's a real problem.

Kyle:

Oh, that's a thing.

Kyle:

It's a thing.

Seph:

Injecting nicotine straight in their arms.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And I think one thing you see, too, and one degrading element, and, you know, I haven't watched wicked prayer in a very long time, so I can't speak to that because I can't remember.

Kyle:

That's a movie I didn't, like, wasn't dying to revisit.

Drew:

I've been told by numerous people there's just like, it's, be careful.

Drew:

They keep telling me, like, don't want.

Drew:

Just do yourself a favor and not watch it.

Kyle:

Dennis Opera ruins his life.

Drew:

I was like, I am going to watch it.

Seph:

I'm contractually obligated to watch this movie.

Drew:

This movie is going to exist in my head.

Kyle:

It's going to harden you.

Drew:

Is that the next one?

Drew:

I can't wait to watch it if it's as bad as everybody.

Kyle:

Yeah, it's one of those.

Kyle:

That's fun to watch with friends is comedically bad, but, yeah, you know, the.

Kyle:

The lack.

Kyle:

It's funny with each entry so far.

Kyle:

One.

Kyle:

One thing that really intrigues me is how they.

Kyle:

One thing that I think is, is bad for the franchise, no matter what the story is, is that the.

Kyle:

The physicality of the protagonist has decreased over time.

Kyle:

Vincent Perez, although he was physical and did things we talked about, one of the reasons Brandon Lee was so successful because he was so poetic.

Kyle:

He was like water.

Kyle:

He was.

Kyle:

It wasn't just the fighting.

Kyle:

It was how he talked and how he moved.

Kyle:

And he was this physical, nonverbal presence.

Kyle:

Vincent Perez had none of that.

Seph:

But he's still.

Kyle:

He's still pummeling people.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

A little physical, but it's telegraph.

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Here.

Kyle:

There were moments when he was going after the villains or whatever.

Kyle:

I'm like, is.

Kyle:

Oh, wait, he's.

Kyle:

Is he doing anything?

Kyle:

Oh, okay.

Kyle:

He's gonna punch a guy.

Drew:

Like, yeah.

Seph:

ass things I've seen in a pre:

Kyle:

There was one, the car one.

Seph:

The car said, so good.

Kyle:

Yeah, that was the one.

Kyle:

And what to.

Kyle:

To really shit on City of Angels here.

Kyle:

That kill was better than any kill in City of Angels.

Kyle:

Yes.

Kyle:

Shitty.

Seph:

Yes.

Kyle:

That was well done.

Kyle:

Well done.

Kyle:

Actually, that's movie wars.

Kyle:

That's movie wars legacy right there.

Kyle:

Playing puns and playing words.

Kyle:

We gotta bring it back.

Seph:

Hell yes.

Drew:

Trying to honor Drew 1.0.

Kyle:

Yes.

Kyle:

Yes.

Kyle:

Drew is the master.

Kyle:

And.

Kyle:

But, yeah, that was cool.

Kyle:

When I was.

Kyle:

I didn't expect it, honestly.

Seph:

Like, so I was expecting when.

Seph:

Cause I was.

Seph:

It was like, as soon as he started driving was like, oh, they're gonna crash into something.

Seph:

Neither of them are buckled.

Seph:

I was expecting it to be this super overdramatic moment where they, like, fly through the windshield and they're like, ah, in slow motion.

Seph:

No, it was so visceral.

Seph:

Just the moment where they both fly through that windshield, hit the truck, and it's like, 3 seconds.

Seph:

You really don't have time to, like, process it until after it's happened.

Seph:

I thought that was so well done.

Drew:

Yeah, I literally, when I watched, I was like, oh, okay.

Seph:

Yeah, yeah, that's the moment I, like, really tried to take it seriously, and then it sadly disappointed me after that.

Seph:

But great moment.

Drew:

I like, I liked his, like, even though he was less physical than the other crows, which is probably not the technical term for them, but.

Kyle:

No, I think so.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Physicality in general, and that doesn't just mean pummeling.

Kyle:

Physicality can be like, yeah, I felt like his.

Drew:

His dialogue and his vibe was like, the things he was saying.

Drew:

I kind of dug that a little bit more.

Drew:

And what I've really liked that they've done in all three movies is they give once they're resurrected and they have the crow in them.

Drew:

They have this weird, manic personality that it started with Brandon Lee.

Drew:

And whether it's been good or bad, the others have done their version of it.

Drew:

Even Jonah.

Drew:

Jonah Earl, when he got crowed.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

Which, again, I'm sure the crows would tell me there's get a little bit.

Kyle:

Of crow when you go straight to.

Drew:

Your head and you get that same manic energy.

Drew:

And I've enjoyed watching all their different interpretations of the manic energy.

Seph:

Definitely.

Drew:

I can't wait when we finally have a movie from the crow's perspective and get it straight from the source.

Seph:

Yes.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

And maybe Harvey Weinstein, if you're watching.

Kyle:

From prison, enjoy your algae eaten penis or whatever.

Kyle:

What is that disease he has?

Seph:

Has like a.

Seph:

I think it's like his taint is rotting, is what it is.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

Apparently, it's just disgust.

Kyle:

I have a feeling I know why.

Kyle:

Maybe it turned, turned one of your favorite things that you loved in the first one, the flashbacks.

Seph:

I mean.

Kyle:

Yeah, they're fucking unforgivable.

Seph:

Absolutely.

Kyle:

In this one, they are.

Kyle:

The second one, we're bad.

Kyle:

This is, this is, this is malpractice.

Seph:

Drawn out over sappy and dramatic.

Seph:

It was.

Seph:

It was beyond hallmark.

Seph:

It was edging into lifetime movie territory as far as, like, how bad those flash.

Seph:

Like, my God, it just, they're sitting there and dancing, and then it's like, oh, but did she.

Seph:

She was cheating on him.

Seph:

I felt like she hated him.

Drew:

I was like, are you sure you want to avenge this one?

Drew:

Like, yeah, like.

Seph:

Like, she's kind of a bitch.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah.

Kyle:

And, you know, british accent, and they're doing some weird kung fu they made up and.

Drew:

Yeah, they were trying.

Drew:

It was like, I feel like someone when they were trying, like, this is adorable.

Drew:

Yeah, this is.

Drew:

This is.

Drew:

It was a single guy who's like, this is what couples do.

Seph:

You can almost hear the director behind the camera being just like, this is cool.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And this is one of the few times in my life watching a movie, I'm like, they're forcing me to watch this.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Like, I'm being forced.

Kyle:

I watch this because I have a podcast.

Kyle:

Like, I.

Kyle:

I was angry.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I was like, you.

Kyle:

I was like, the first half, I'm like, there's some stuff.

Seph:

And we're coming solid.

Kyle:

Yeah, we're coming off city of angels.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

It gets a little bit of a bogey for being straight to video, but I'm seeing things here that are.

Kyle:

It's different.

Kyle:

It's creative, but I don't.

Seph:

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Seph:

I don't think they knew when they were shooting it.

Seph:

It was going to be direct to video.

Kyle:

No, they didn't.

Seph:

Yeah, they were assuming it was gonna be a theatrical release and I could.

Seph:

Here's the thing about the second one that bothered me so much.

Seph:

You could tell that it was not a passion project like the first one.

Seph:

Yeah, first one.

Seph:

Every single person in front of and behind the camera, you could feel that they were genuinely making something they wanted to make.

Seph:

The second one, not a single person gave me the attitude of, we're all in this to make something cool.

Kyle:

They were cashing in on Lee's legacy.

Seph:

Absolutely.

Seph:

Third one.

Seph:

However, at least for the first half, I felt like everyone actually gave a shit.

Drew:

Yeah, it seemed like they, either they were having a good time or they were being good actors and doing their job.

Drew:

Like, I did enjoy, like the story, I enjoyed the actors performances.

Drew:

It did kind of.

Drew:

The point it kind of went.

Drew:

Got boring for me was when he kind of killed his last guy and he was going for the.

Drew:

When he got, like.

Drew:

Was going for the military guy, like when he was, like, when at the end.

Drew:

Because like, how did he get this?

Drew:

I was gonna ask you guys this cuz I feel like I missed something.

Drew:

How did he get vulnerable?

Drew:

Was it cuz he finished his task and he lost his power?

Kyle:

I think so.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah.

Drew:

Cuz that was.

Kyle:

It's not very clear.

Drew:

Yeah, yeah, and that's, that's where I was like.

Drew:

Cuz in the last one I felt like the director's like, how do I end this?

Drew:

Oh, I know, a beam of crows takes away.

Drew:

Yeah, and this one they're like, how do we end this one?

Drew:

Yeah, I guess we'll just.

Drew:

So.

Drew:

Yeah, yeah, and that, that part would.

Drew:

That was right about when he was like on that table was.

Drew:

And I was like, are we still going?

Seph:

Yeah, there unfortunately were several times like, I literally paused the movie where I thought we were like gonna hit the third, final part of the, you know, the third act.

Seph:

And then I realized I had 40 minutes left in the movie.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

I was like, oh God, no.

Kyle:

We're gonna get into attack dawn ending here.

Seph:

Yeah, I literally, I literally just started working out because I was so bored by that.

Seph:

Yeah, there's some dumbbells right off camera there and I literally just stood right there watching this movie.

Drew:

If you're listening.

Kyle:

Whoa.

Seph:

Badass motherfucker right here.

Kyle:

Holy.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Speaking of inflation.

Kyle:

Oh God.

Seph:

Thanks, Joe Biden.

Kyle:

Yes.

Kyle:

You know one thing too, at first I didn't love this, but I think it's more like time and context.

Kyle:

Like we talk a lot about time and context.

Kyle:

The first one, one thing I loved is how there's, we talked about how little exposition there was and they really let the visuals scream.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And I love how Brandon Lee explored learning his powers.

Kyle:

When he's jumping on the roof, he's like, the second one, there's almost, no, there's not a lot of that.

Kyle:

He's not really falling in love with his powers.

Kyle:

He's not like slowly.

Kyle:

He's kind of just like, there.

Drew:

Like everything about would have been this story.

Drew:

If he was a reluctant crow and he was trying to figure out how to stay.

Drew:

I'm telling you, they could have.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

Hire me to reboot.

Drew:

Yeah, shitty of angels.

Kyle:

But everything, yes, everything was so rushed.

Kyle:

But in this one, they, and the reason I actually thought I didn't love it, but I do respect it.

Kyle:

They purposely wanted to get a younger crow.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And funny enough, I don't even have this in my randos, but Eric Mabias did audition to be the crow in the first one.

Kyle:

Oh, yeah, he actually auditioned, but they just said he was too young.

Kyle:

Yeah, they wanted a young crow.

Drew:

I love that he got this role then.

Seph:

It's crazy.

Seph:

That was seven years later.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

It means, and he still looked like a child.

Drew:

It was like, I still have faith in.

Kyle:

Yeah, I can do this.

Kyle:

Well, I mean, they castigated him to the Hallmark channel.

Kyle:

He did a lot of hallmark work.

Kyle:

The director himself, I looked like.

Kyle:

Not a lot of notable credits outside of this movie.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

But he, yeah, that's saying something.

Seph:

If I don't recognize any project you've done, you're not doing.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

What a cast.

Drew:

How did he get all these people?

Seph:

Weinstein, Harvey Miramax.

Seph:

When you look, here's, here's the unfortunate thing about the nineties through the early aughts is that Miramax had a stranglehold on the entertainment industry in general.

Seph:

Harvey Weinstein was the fucking man.

Seph:

Every movie that he put out at some point was going to make back at least a little.

Seph:

Even if it made back a dollar, it was going to make back the money that he put in to it.

Seph:

If you had Harvey Weinstein as your executive producer, there was a really high chance that it was going to do okay.

Seph:

So when you.

Seph:

Yeah, and as a young Kirsten Dunst, as a Walton goggins who's never done anything of note by then, Tim decay, all these people who, who had a little, just enough to have some notoriety, they all saw that Harvey Weinstein was on board and they were like, cool.

Seph:

This is going to be at least something decent.

Kyle:

So dimension did the distribution.

Seph:

Okay.

Seph:

I was wondering, because they also.

Kyle:

They were also the production, though.

Seph:

Miramax was the one who produced.

Drew:

Okay.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Because you.

Kyle:

That's not.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

It's not the same.

Kyle:

Like, you can have one distribution and so you can have several production companies.

Kyle:

Yeah, you're right.

Kyle:

Because you got Kiersten Dunst at a weird moment in her career where she's kind of a young Walton Goggins.

Kyle:

Yeah, it's pretty wild how they got these folks.

Kyle:

In the next one.

Kyle:

You got Edward Furlong, Tara Reid, and Dennis Hopper.

Kyle:

So, I mean, somehow was one of my crushes.

Drew:

I'm excited.

Drew:

I'm already thinking.

Drew:

I already think the next one's my favorite.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I don't want to tarot read into that, you know?

Drew:

Do we have our first female?

Kyle:

She's the crow.

Kyle:

Yes.

Kyle:

Yes.

Kyle:

American crow.

Kyle:

Furlong.

Kyle:

Is this is post rehab Edward Furlong.

Kyle:

Yeah, probably.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

I mean, what if you guys are going to be.

Kyle:

I love that you're asking these questions because you guys are going to be shocked by the premise of, of the wicked prince.

Kyle:

It's gonna blow you away.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

At least they tried something, I guess.

Seph:

Yeah, this one tried something.

Kyle:

Yeah, it did.

Kyle:

And it did.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And I like the electric.

Kyle:

I like the electric chair.

Kyle:

I like, I like the new elements here.

Drew:

Revenge, his own murder.

Drew:

Unjust charge.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

And I will say I did the biggest question I had after watching this whole movie.

Seph:

How the hell do you peel your own face off and have a better face underneath?

Kyle:

That's true.

Seph:

Like, how did that happen?

Drew:

Crows, man, I guess.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

He's got that Judah Earl in him.

Drew:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kyle:

Judah always looked good.

Drew:

Judah.

Drew:

Judah was up there after being sucked into the crow vortex.

Drew:

Like, I got you, buddy.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Judah Earl, he's got the best face cream regimen of any villain in any movie.

Drew:

Right?

Drew:

Like.

Drew:

Cause he didn't ever die.

Kyle:

He just evaporated.

Kyle:

CGI.

Drew:

Yeah.

Seph:

He just in Crow hell.

Seph:

So he could easily come back.

Kyle:

I've listened, I've read a lot and listened to a lot of podcasts.

Kyle:

No one knows what the hell happened to Judah Earl.

Seph:

We just comes back as a pelican.

Kyle:

That'd be funny.

Seph:

That'd be great.

Seph:

I would so be down with that.

Kyle:

Every bird has a job to do.

Drew:

Also, I didn't think about this for the second episode, but I made a point today that I wanted to say this.

Drew:

I want to recant something I said in the first episode when we were talking about what would be a good bird to like instead of the crow, what would be another movie to have, like, that guiding spirit animal.

Drew:

And we all agreed that Condor.

Drew:

I feel like I started that, and I've discovered that is such a dumb answer compared to the correct answer, which is it should have been an ostrich.

Drew:

Can you imagine this movie with an.

Drew:

Or a peacock?

Drew:

I'm kind of undecided, but, like, a flightless bird is the one that's just running around.

Seph:

I mean, I did say penguin.

Drew:

That's true.

Seph:

You did?

Seph:

I did say penguin.

Seph:

So, yeah.

Drew:

Can you imagine a gang of penguins, like, picking the kind of rock I can, and they can't fly.

Drew:

They can't fly.

Drew:

They gotta just run off the screen.

Kyle:

Yes.

Kyle:

It's gonna take the protagonist, like, a year to find the next villainous doster's just like, I'll be there in a minute.

Seph:

I'm gonna run.

Seph:

I don't walk.

Kyle:

Evolution.

Kyle:

Skip me.

Kyle:

I just walk.

Kyle:

I got wings, but they don't work.

Seph:

They're too tiny.

Kyle:

My eggs are tasty, though.

Seph:

Can feed a whole village on one egg.

Drew:

That's how the other people get the gross flowers.

Drew:

They take the eggs and serving up breakfast, like, eat all of this except chives.

Drew:

Who wants cheese on there?

Drew:

Jonah's like, I got a great biscuit gravy recipe you guys are gonna love.

Kyle:

I love that we keep running with his birdhouse.

Kyle:

It is funny.

Kyle:

Like, it's.

Kyle:

It does make things, like, well, why?

Kyle:

What other creatures could have taken the soul out of the ground?

Kyle:

Before I get to the questions, quick call to action.

Kyle:

Just, hey, if you love this podcast, share with your friends.

Kyle:

I know you got a friend out there that loves the crow salvation.

Kyle:

That loves it.

Kyle:

Make sure they have this in their pocket.

Seph:

Look, even if they like Terminator salvation, it shares a word, so just send it to that person.

Drew:

I think you should be the good friend in the relationship.

Drew:

And even if they don't even know the crow salvation exists, share this with them and be like.

Drew:

And just.

Drew:

You're welcome, is all you have to.

Kyle:

Say, lest you be saved.

Kyle:

Yes.

Seph:

Yes.

Kyle:

All right.

Kyle:

I only got one question.

Kyle:

He liked that.

Kyle:

I just said it.

Kyle:

You love.

Kyle:

I love it when you say something else that was literally just the Pez dispenser brain.

Kyle:

Like, whatever's next.

Drew:

The statement.

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I don't know why I write questions like, I'm a show.

Kyle:

Like a talk show host.

Kyle:

I literally.

Seph:

I wrote this kind of what this is.

Kyle:

Yeah, it is true.

Drew:

I wrote this, like, couches and everything.

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

What is this?

Kyle:

The crow TED talk edition.

Kyle:

Value your life.

Kyle:

Could we have called it that?

Kyle:

Because, listen, I agree with everything we're saying about the positives here, but it's a little cheesy that at every opportunity, Alex Corvus is, like, value your life.

Kyle:

He's, like, giving.

Kyle:

He's, like, giving a motivational message.

Seph:

Freeze the stripper from the strip of the pole.

Seph:

It's just like, value your life.

Kyle:

I'm just like.

Drew:

I know.

Drew:

It's like, okay.

Seph:

I'm like, I get it.

Seph:

You came back, but literally, you were dead for all of ten minutes.

Drew:

But, yeah, he was like.

Drew:

He was on death row.

Drew:

He was unjustly accused of a murder.

Kyle:

He's learned the system failed you.

Seph:

Like, did have three years to sit and.

Drew:

Yeah, I feel like.

Drew:

Yeah, like, he's like, he might be, like, a nicer guy than the other two girls.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

Like, I wouldn't.

Kyle:

Draven was a rock star.

Drew:

Yeah, he's still.

Drew:

I mean, he still was the best he could.

Drew:

He could knock them all out.

Seph:

I still don't really know what.

Seph:

Fucking ash was a mechanic.

Seph:

Oh, was he?

Kyle:

Okay, but you have to read to find that.

Seph:

Apparently it's not.

Kyle:

No clue, because his auto shop looked like the rest of fucking rundown city.

Seph:

I didn't even know his auto shop.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah, it looks like someone broke into an old auto shop, but that's his auto shop.

Drew:

Did we ever learn what this guy was?

Drew:

Other than a convict?

Drew:

I feel like we should call him a felon.

Kyle:

A guy that generates flashbacks.

Kyle:

A dude who fucked a british girl who made up kung fu.

Drew:

Yeah, a guy with a hot girlfriend.

Drew:

That's all we need.

Drew:

Like, okay, we're cool with him as the hero of the story.

Kyle:

There's sexy british accents, and then there's the one in this movie.

Seph:

All you need is a good dick.

Seph:

And apparently you can just be a great action hero.

Kyle:

Yes.

Drew:

I still think it's weird that throughout these movies, there's never someone who's like, oh, yeah, this.

Drew:

This same thing happened five years ago.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

What we need to do.

Drew:

Or, like, at this point, people are like.

Drew:

And that is kind of my.

Drew:

One of my, like, my complaint of the movie.

Drew:

Although I think, to answer the question, if it was a tech todd, I think at some point, someone in this universe would be like, stop murdering people, because they may come back with the spirit of a crow and kill you and everybody else.

Drew:

Yeah, I said this in the last one, but the last one kind of did follow this circumstance.

Drew:

It being the third movie, like, the stakes need to be higher.

Drew:

So, like, the first one, he was avenging the person that killed his lover, and that was kind of the thing.

Drew:

The second one, you had, like, a evil crow could kind of play the field.

Drew:

The play the field.

Drew:

Yeah, they were just the third one, they had the strip club where they were playing the field at.

Drew:

It's great.

Drew:

And this one, like, it just seemed like there just wasn't as much stakes.

Drew:

Especially by the end.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

Like, at the end, I was like, I didn't care about the boss fight, whereas the other two, they built it up to a moment where the boss fights.

Seph:

Yeah, this definitely felt like the most wasted big bad guy because, yeah, there was a little bit of mystery of, oh, he's really the corrupt one who's letting the corruption get through.

Seph:

But you never really felt for the good cop.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

Like, you.

Seph:

You didn't get enough development with him.

Seph:

Even though I did think the chess idea was a cool thing to add to it, you never really got any emotional connection like you did with.

Seph:

With Ernie Hudson in the first movie.

Drew:

He was there so that you could feel worse about the bad.

Drew:

Exact whole point in that was to eventually be killed.

Seph:

Exactly.

Drew:

Frustrating.

Seph:

And it was such a lame death to just be like, oh, I'm gonna shoot you.

Seph:

Okay, there we go.

Kyle:

And then they try to fool you with the friend lawyer whose arm is gone, and they're trying to make you think and like.

Kyle:

But by that time, like you said, like, when you see there's 40 minutes left, by that time, I'm like, I don't care.

Kyle:

Yeah, make it be the lawyer.

Kyle:

I don't care.

Seph:

If they had made that movie an hour and 15 minutes, it could have been a fan fucking testing.

Drew:

Yeah, that would have been a good shorter movie.

Drew:

Was there any point to the scars of the guy, like, the screws and, like, did that end up coming to play for anything?

Kyle:

That's another big thing that that's something people do.

Kyle:

I researched it.

Kyle:

Like, people do that.

Kyle:

But it's not common knowledge that people put metal in their arms to make scar looking things.

Kyle:

And the fact that they.

Kyle:

I mean, they predicated the whole premise on the finding the scar ardam.

Kyle:

But most people I know, a lot of weird, random shit.

Kyle:

I didn't know people shoved metal into their arms.

Seph:

Okay, so hold on.

Seph:

Am I the only one with tattoos out of the three of us?

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

Okay, so as a tattoo connoisseur, my entire arm, I've got tattoos all in other places I have known about.

Seph:

And usually it's silicone.

Seph:

Like people.

Seph:

I don't know how it was back in the day.

Seph:

But as far as, like, when I've been getting tattoos, it's silicone that people will put under to have, like, this raised kind of situation.

Seph:

So I did know it was a thing.

Seph:

I did not feel any purpose for it in this movie other than it was an identifier.

Seph:

And you're wondering, who's the scarlet?

Drew:

I thought so.

Drew:

Do you ever, like, accidentally write a better movie than what you're watching?

Seph:

Every time I watch, the whole time.

Drew:

I'm watching this with the better.

Drew:

I thought they were gonna be the things from the second movie that he used to stab the crow and get the power from.

Kyle:

Oh, yeah.

Drew:

And I was like.

Drew:

I was like, that could have been cool, right?

Drew:

I was like, so if, like, I was figuring at some point he's gonna take him out.

Kyle:

See, that would force them to do logic.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

Like, actual writing, trying to play within.

Drew:

The rules of this universe.

Drew:

And the movies are like, we don't do that anymore.

Kyle:

How dare you challenge the best crow sequel.

Seph:

Yes.

Kyle:

Out of the two.

Kyle:

I know.

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

The best crow sequel ever.

Seph:

Which is sad because.

Seph:

Because at the time, that is true.

Seph:

It was the better of the two crow sequels.

Kyle:

We got a lot of work to do, though.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

Terror reads in the next one, so we already know that's gonna be.

Kyle:

That's true.

Seph:

If she doesn't show her tits, I don't know if it's worth it.

Kyle:

Yeah, man.

Kyle:

So.

Kyle:

And I, you know, it is weird, I guess, for me.

Kyle:

Like, I took it a different way.

Kyle:

This guy was betrayed by the system, you know, and he was wrongfully accused, wrongfully convicted, and he was killed for it and lost his life.

Seph:

Which, again, really cool part point.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah.

Kyle:

But it comes out the end, positive.

Kyle:

I'd be like, fuck the system.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Instead of telling the stripper to value your life, I'd be like, don't ever get arrested because they will f you.

Kyle:

They will put you in the chair.

Seph:

God forbid you be black.

Kyle:

And again, that.

Kyle:

That's part of the problem with it being straight to video is like, they did this in the first one when he's squeezing the morphine of her arm.

Kyle:

But that's heavy.

Kyle:

He's squeezing drugs.

Kyle:

And he just killed her boyfriend by stabbing him with eight freaking syringes of heroin.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

You know, and, like.

Kyle:

And that was heavy.

Kyle:

And he knew her daughter, and so there was.

Kyle:

And it was very unassuming but very, like, hard to watch.

Kyle:

This is just like, value your life, you know?

Seph:

It's like, I don't know who you are.

Seph:

But value your life value.

Drew:

He's just a nicer dude.

Drew:

Like, he just got the second chance.

Drew:

He's like, well, let me go.

Seph:

Maybe that's a super power.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And also, they zoomed in on her arm, and I had to research this because, like, I was like, are they trying to make it seem like those are track marks from heroin?

Kyle:

And that is what they were trying to do.

Kyle:

But, like, those don't look like collapsed veins that, you know, I'm a die hard.

Kyle:

We talked about this in the first episode.

Kyle:

Nineties Seattle music.

Kyle:

I know what track marks.

Drew:

I really thought you're.

Drew:

I'm a die hard heron fan.

Kyle:

I'm a die hard track.

Drew:

And then you're like, we've talked about this before.

Drew:

I'm like, I'm pretty sure we haven't.

Seph:

I don't think we did.

Kyle:

We were at Waffle House.

Seph:

Remember the drugs?

Kyle:

But I'm like, they were.

Kyle:

It was so fast, and the lights were pulsating.

Kyle:

There were, like, bumps on her arm, and, like, why did they show us that?

Seph:

Like, could have been zits.

Kyle:

Those could have been zits.

Kyle:

Like, value your life.

Kyle:

You have acne.

Drew:

See, that's what I love about, like, crappy movies.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

Is when you see that efforts were made.

Drew:

It just was something stupid.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

Then I'm like, you know what?

Drew:

Cool.

Drew:

Okay.

Seph:

They tried, at least.

Drew:

Yeah.

Seph:

It's, like, more than you could say about the second one.

Kyle:

It's like how, like, when parents name their kids and they don't have a creative bone in their body, but, like, when they decide to have a kid, like, all of a sudden they're creative, and they're gonna name their kid, like, they're gonna, like, do a crazy version of, like, Kyle spelled k I g.

Drew:

A.

Drew:

I get so annoyed with those parents when I meet their kids.

Kyle:

That's, like, what this is when you.

Drew:

Have to spell the names.

Drew:

I'm just like, what?

Drew:

I'm not spelling that way.

Kyle:

These folks are never gonna get to do a mainstream film.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And so they're like, how creative can we be?

Kyle:

Like, zoom in on the arm.

Kyle:

It's like, well, what are the.

Kyle:

They'll know.

Kyle:

Like, are you sure?

Kyle:

Yeah, they'll know.

Kyle:

Those are track marks.

Kyle:

Like, well, they kind of look like just bumps, and the lights are kind of crazy.

Kyle:

Do it.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

Don't get it.

Drew:

You know, there had to be, like, one person was like, like, this is the best thesis.

Drew:

Everyone else is like, let Jeff have this.

Seph:

I have been on so many local sets where I'm watching the director and the screenwriter and the producer all behind the camera watching the most pointless shot I've ever seen happen in, like, their Nolan film.

Seph:

And they're just like, we are gonna change lives.

Drew:

Yes.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

We're gonna change everyone's life.

Seph:

Who sees this?

Seph:

And then no one sees it.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

I wrote a sketch for a reel, and then we, like, filmed it and did it, and it was like.

Drew:

But it was like, there's like, there was a, like, a dream sequence, like, where I says, at a gym.

Drew:

So I was.

Drew:

I was in the real sequence.

Drew:

I was lifting small weights, and then I was so excited about this little subtle touch.

Drew:

I was, like, putting the dream sequence, because it's, like, my perception of things.

Drew:

Yeah, give me the biggest weights to lift.

Drew:

And I was like, I mean, people are gonna be like, that was the coolest thing ever.

Drew:

I think you two are the only other people that know that.

Drew:

That's the thing I just said.

Drew:

It's like a 45 2nd reel.

Drew:

No one's ever been like, wow, look at those waves.

Seph:

You got pumped.

Drew:

But, like, when I.

Drew:

Like, when we were in there filming is like, no, trust me, this will be.

Kyle:

This is.

Drew:

This is gonna hit.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Nuance is a thing.

Seph:

Yeah, absolutely.

Drew:

Watch social media.

Drew:

Reels are like, I want.

Drew:

I want good new.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I don't know why this is coming to mind, but it reminds me of the office.

Kyle:

What was Pam's boyfriend's name originally?

Kyle:

Roy.

Drew:

Roy.

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Is the best art.

Kyle:

That's literally everybody in this movie right now.

Kyle:

Your art is the best art, so.

Drew:

Yeah, so I know.

Drew:

Good for them for making the heroin marks.

Drew:

I'm glad they did.

Kyle:

That.

Kyle:

Looked like pimples.

Seph:

Some makeup artist is very proud.

Kyle:

Yes.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

They probably did the makeup for the crow on the next one.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

Can't wait.

Drew:

I've heard that's the best one.

Kyle:

The only holdover.

Kyle:

It's like, why don't you do the mask on the main character?

Seph:

We might need to watch that one together just to get through it, right?

Kyle:

Yeah, no, it's true.

Kyle:

You need to phone a friend on that one.

Drew:

Yeah, maybe we can.

Seph:

I might force my roommate to watch it with me.

Drew:

Yeah, she's a guest next week.

Seph:

I don't know what.

Drew:

No context.

Drew:

Don't ever watch any of the other ones.

Kyle:

Yeah, she's gonna, like, renege on her contract to live in this house.

Kyle:

Like, I can't believe you did that to me.

Drew:

It's like, how do you know it was time to move when they asked me to watch a crow movie?

Kyle:

The crow four wicked prayer.

Kyle:

Just the fact that they called it wicked prayer.

Kyle:

You're like, oh, God.

Drew:

But I.

Kyle:

What is this, a hocus pocus?

Drew:

I can't help but think it's, like, a Boston guy.

Kyle:

Wicked prayer.

Kyle:

Wicked.

Kyle:

That was a wicked prayer.

Seph:

That's a wicked prayer.

Kyle:

Oh, my God.

Kyle:

That's funny.

Drew:

Thank you.

Kyle:

Random.

Kyle:

Why do I use so many hand motions by Rando?

Drew:

You're giving bonus content for the YouTube.

Kyle:

Yeah, it's uncomfortable to say bonus and render.

Kyle:

I know the.

Kyle:

I know the vitriol that this creates with a small segment of the podcast population.

Kyle:

Most love it.

Kyle:

But I say randos and some people go for the knife.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

You know what I mean?

Seph:

They can do their thing.

Kyle:

Yeah, Rando.

Kyle:

That's right.

Kyle:

So I was aching to say this earlier, but I didn't want to ruin the random because you were saying things, both of you, that, like, alluded to this originally.

Kyle:

Rob Zombie wrote, directed, and scored this film.

Kyle:

He spent 18 months on it.

Kyle:

as originally called the Crow:

Kyle:

And.

Kyle:

But the idea, again, someone with a different idea.

Kyle:

It was an older crow.

Kyle:

It was gonna be kind of a western.

Kyle:

This sounds so Rob zombie, doesn't it?

Kyle:

Guess who was gonna play the older version of the Crow.

Kyle:

Scott Glenn from silence of the lambs.

Seph:

Oh, shit.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

I was gonna guess.

Seph:

I was gonna guess Sam Elliott.

Drew:

I was honestly gonna guess Rob zombie.

Drew:

That's the guy.

Kyle:

Yeah, I'm gonna do it myself.

Seph:

So, wait, did he actually direct a version of this, or.

Seph:

He was just on board to.

Kyle:

It was hard to find exactly what they got done, but I know for 18 months, he at least got it written and stuff was in place, and he progressed it.

Kyle:

I don't know how much they actually got done.

Seph:

Okay.

Kyle:

I don't think at least did a.

Seph:

Lot of pre production.

Kyle:

Yes.

Seph:

Okay.

Kyle:

Yes.

Kyle:

f you think about it, this is:

Kyle:

This is year:

Kyle:

This is.

Kyle:

I'm going to look it up.

Kyle:

Devil's rejects had.

Kyle:

That was his first film, right?

Seph:

I honestly am not very familiar.

Seph:

I know he did the Halloween reboots, but I'm pretty sure those were after this.

Kyle:

Yeah, way after.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

Drew, keep talking.

Drew:

I have nothing to consequence.

Kyle:

Devil's rejects came out in:

Kyle:

Was that the first.

Kyle:

Oh, no, the first one was.

Kyle:

Oh, okay.

Kyle:

house of a thousand corpses,:

Drew:

I was about to say that.

Kyle:

You were?

Kyle:

I could sense it.

Kyle:

Yeah, I could sense it in your check marks.

Drew:

Yep.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

I don't remember.

Kyle:

Value your life.

Kyle:

But, yeah.

Drew:

So, also, like, in that city, everyone's like, no.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

You say where we value your life.

Seph:

This would have been his first feature film.

Kyle:

It would have.

Kyle:

That's what I was getting at.

Kyle:

So this, because I said so, I kind of misspoke early.

Kyle:

I was like, well, it actually could have been a bigger deal, but the only.

Kyle:

But Rob zombie did have a big music career.

Seph:

Oh, absolutely.

Seph:

Directed all of his music videos, so he at least had the.

Seph:

The expertise to come in and do a film.

Kyle:

Yeah, I feel.

Drew:

I feel like he.

Drew:

This would have been a good one for him.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kyle:

And, I mean, he eventually really leans into hyper violence and over sexualization.

Kyle:

I do think he.

Kyle:

I think he's a good filmmaker, but has crutches, but having the limitations of tv.

Kyle:

Well, I say that, but there's nudity in this.

Kyle:

Like, I was thinking, was this an after hours thing or something?

Seph:

I mean, it was direct to dvd.

Seph:

Like, it wasn't tv movie.

Kyle:

Okay.

Seph:

Direct to video.

Seph:

So you can kind of do whatever you want.

Kyle:

Okay.

Seph:

Those don't usually get raised.

Kyle:

That makes sense.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

But, yeah, I would like to see that.

Kyle:

Yeah, I think it would probably been a pretty interesting movie.

Kyle:

I.

Seph:

Again, I like the idea of an older crow, too.

Drew:

Yeah, let's get him for the reboot.

Drew:

When they reboot the second one, let's get him to direct.

Kyle:

Yeah, he loves mashups, man.

Kyle:

He loves, he loves, like, mixing stuff up.

Seph:

Has his monsters movie come out yet?

Kyle:

I just saw it pop up on my search.

Seph:

It came out two years ago.

Seph:

I didn't even know.

Kyle:

I didn't even watch it.

Drew:

Oh, man.

Seph:

I might have to look that up.

Kyle:

Honestly.

Seph:

Very curious about it.

Kyle:

He lost me with Halloween, too.

Seph:

I never watched any of the Halloween movies that he did.

Kyle:

They're just, I mean, Mike Myers is six foot ten.

Kyle:

It's like, it's so hyper violent.

Kyle:

I don't mind violence, but it's just like, over the top.

Seph:

Yeah, there does come a point where it's like this.

Seph:

Yeah, it's just not fun anymore.

Kyle:

And the first one didn't lean on the violence.

Kyle:

You know, the violence was so subtle.

Kyle:

That's what made it great.

Kyle:

Anyway, that would have been interesting.

Kyle:

He also auditioned for Funboy.

Kyle:

Oh, yeah.

Kyle:

I actually wanted to say this, too, when we were talking about the cast, but Eric Mabius also doesn't have top billing here.

Kyle:

There are three people, so.

Seph:

Well, yeah, I guess he kind of was on the lower tier of the.

Seph:

The stars of the movie.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And it's all about the order of which, you know, who gets paid the most.

Kyle:

Yeah, the order of.

Seph:

Let me find the order was Kirsten Dunst top bill?

Kyle:

She was top bill because she, she.

Seph:

Had done some stuff before that.

Seph:

arandon way back in, I think,:

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

So she had been acting as a child, and then I think the year before this had done bringing on.

Kyle:

Yep.

Kyle:

There are three people listed before.

Kyle:

Maybe so Kristen Dunst, William Atherton, and then Debbie fan all made more money than he did.

Drew:

Crazy to me.

Drew:

Because he was, like, the lead.

Kyle:

Yes.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

But it's like, it doesn't.

Seph:

The amount that you get paid does not really matter on who you play.

Seph:

It matters on what you've done before that.

Seph:

Like, Robert Downey Juniore, for all the Avengers guys, had to convince them to renegotiate all their contracts after the first Avengers movie because he looked at them and he was like, guys, you guys are superstars now.

Seph:

You have to be making way more money than you've signed on for.

Seph:

So he, at the time, I think each of them were making under a million dollars for their first movies, and then they did the Avengers, and he was like, no, no, no.

Seph:

We've got to make sure you guys are getting way more money.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And there are films where this becomes an issue.

Kyle:

Like, I remember we did the firm and, like, you know, there's a big issue between Tom Cruise and, gosh, what's his face?

Kyle:

Gene Hackman.

Seph:

Okay.

Kyle:

And Gene Hackman.

Kyle:

Like, all of a sudden, this is when Tom Cruise all sudden was top bill.

Kyle:

He had, like, kind of hit that.

Kyle:

And all sudden, they didn't put, they weren't going to put Gene Hackman's name on the poster.

Seph:

Oh, wow.

Kyle:

Because top Bill has a bunch of definitions.

Kyle:

It's pay, but it's also literally top bill, who's at the top of the poster.

Kyle:

That's what its origins are.

Kyle:

And it's all sudden, like, Gene Hackman's like, wait, my name's not on the poster?

Kyle:

Who's, who's this time?

Kyle:

What?

Kyle:

It's.

Kyle:

It's kind of interesting.

Kyle:

So you kind of have to look at it a number of ways.

Drew:

And I get it from, like, a business standpoint of, like, the idea is you're gonna bring in these bigger names and the movie is gonna make more money.

Drew:

You know, in the end, everybody wins because it's profiting.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

But then, like, it's also like, I've, I've done shows before where, like, you know, the headliner is like a c list comedian who just doesn't want to do a ton of time.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

And I'm there to host or feature.

Drew:

And, like, why don't you do as much time as me?

Drew:

And I'm like, because I'm not getting paid as much as you.

Drew:

Why don't you split your paycheck with me?

Drew:

Yeah, I'll do as much time as you want.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

So, like, in my brain, it's like the leading actor has had the most to do, but is getting paid less.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

And it just kind of doesn't feel right.

Drew:

But then when you think about it from a business standpoint, you're like, but I see that it's the way that it is.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Or they didn't have a very good agent.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

I mean, that's also a possibility.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And the last rando here, this is kind of a small thing, but this is the first one in the series that wasn't directed by someone who was a musician, video director.

Seph:

Oh, interesting.

Kyle:

So that's interesting to think about, because.

Drew:

The first two soundtrack, I didn't feel like maybe.

Seph:

I feel it had a better soundtrack than the second one did.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

The only thing about the second one was that Deftone song, which rocks.

Drew:

But.

Seph:

But they.

Seph:

They def.

Seph:

Rob zombie definitely did music for this one.

Kyle:

Yeah, he did.

Kyle:

He has songs in it.

Seph:

Yeah, yeah.

Seph:

A couple I heard.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And I think that's an important fact because, you know, because music.

Kyle:

They were trying to cast rock stars in the first two.

Kyle:

In the first one, Draven is a rock star.

Kyle:

Like, there's so much music embedded in this one.

Kyle:

That's not really.

Kyle:

Yeah, that's not really something they included.

Drew:

He's a therapist.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

He's a therapist.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

Oh, is that what he was?

Drew:

No, yeah.

Kyle:

He's just a guy.

Drew:

He's a felon.

Drew:

He's a guy.

Kyle:

We just literally know that he had an old pickup truck, got into an argument, and then a guy with metal in his arm knife.

Kyle:

And that's literally all we know about this guy.

Kyle:

Another kind of weird thing.

Kyle:

We don't know Jack about this guy, like, at all.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

And then he has.

Seph:

That is the other interesting thing about this, is that this guy has no real connection to anyone still alive.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

The.

Seph:

The.

Seph:

Kirsten Dunstan's character didn't really know him.

Seph:

Like, she knew who he was, but you could tell they didn't have a relationship because also, this is the first time, I feel like, in the movies where no one recognized him.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

Like, he's literally sitting there beating the shit out of someone who killed him, and the guy doesn't even realize that it's.

Kyle:

It took a lot of time.

Seph:

Yeah, like, it's.

Seph:

It's.

Seph:

It's weird.

Drew:

Maybe that's why I didn't get paid as much.

Drew:

They were like, yeah, we don't even know who you are.

Kyle:

Like, yeah, it is funny.

Kyle:

I just.

Kyle:

It just hit me.

Kyle:

It's like, God, this is the first time we, like, don't know anything.

Kyle:

I mean, I guess we only know you didn't.

Kyle:

I mean, it didn't.

Kyle:

They didn't make it clear in city of angels that he was a mechanic.

Kyle:

I had to read that, so.

Seph:

Yeah, true.

Seph:

But at the same time, it's like he still had connections to people who were around, and people recognized him.

Seph:

Like, the people who killed him recognized who he was?

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

In this one, literally nobody.

Seph:

Even up until he killed them, most of the people didn't recognize him.

Drew:

Yeah.

Drew:

They ended up recognizing him as a guy that's immortal, that's going around killing them.

Drew:

Yeah, that's why they were like, oh, crap, he's coming after.

Seph:

Whenever he would ask about the scars, everyone would be like, oh, that guy made it up.

Seph:

Whoever.

Seph:

Whoever he actually is.

Seph:

They were like, oh, he made it up in the third person.

Seph:

They were never referring to him as him.

Seph:

They were referring to this other guy who was already dead.

Seph:

No one knew he was the guy.

Kyle:

Why does he have the same initials, by the way?

Kyle:

Ash.

Kyle:

Ash.

Kyle:

What's his name?

Kyle:

Ash Corvin.

Kyle:

And then we have Alex Corvus.

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Why are they so close?

Drew:

The first one have the same one?

Kyle:

No, that's Eric Draven.

Kyle:

But this one, like, why are the names so close?

Drew:

That would be a fun thing.

Drew:

Maybe crows can only do ace.

Kyle:

Do acs.

Drew:

Yeah, it's the rules of the universe.

Drew:

I didn't make it up.

Drew:

The crows.

Drew:

Crows decide.

Kyle:

Back to your break room concept.

Drew:

The crow flies.

Drew:

We just go.

Kyle:

Waiting for his next assignment.

Kyle:

What's his name?

Kyle:

Eric.

Kyle:

I don't do ease.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Is Alex Adam?

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

I'm the a crow.

Kyle:

A crow?

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah.

Kyle:

Learn your Alphabet.

Drew:

Bertha's on the seas.

Drew:

You just gotta go call her.

Drew:

It's her day off.

Drew:

Well, she'll get to it later.

Drew:

Like, it's fine.

Drew:

I don't know why a crow name.

Drew:

Bertha is not a crow name.

Kyle:

Bertha.

Drew:

No, no.

Drew:

Bertha's can't be crows.

Kyle:

Bertha's like.

Seph:

Berthas are cows.

Seph:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kyle:

Bovine.

Seph:

I will say.

Seph:

I think the weirdest thing about this movie is how quickly, he died and then came back to life.

Seph:

Every other movie, it's been a hot minute.

Seph:

It's been at least a year since the crime happened.

Seph:

And then this one, it's like, all right, you're electrocuted.

Seph:

And then literally ten minutes later, he's back.

Seph:

I'm just.

Seph:

That was something I did not understand.

Seph:

Like, why.

Seph:

Why, like, why the sudden jump in time?

Kyle:

Which doesn't make sense in the other fact you made that because that nobody recognizes them as quickly as they do.

Seph:

In the other movies would be like, you literally just died.

Kyle:

That was 14 hours ago.

Seph:

Yeah, if that.

Seph:

Like, I feel like the entire movie took place in, like, a six hour time period.

Drew:

Yeah, it was a quick crow.

Seph:

Yeah, but every.

Seph:

The other two movies.

Drew:

A freelance crows, like, oh, I got.

Drew:

I got 6 hours.

Kyle:

It was a fly by night.

Seph:

Yeah, but it's like, the other movies, it's been at least a year, and they're.

Seph:

They're like, oh, no, it's him.

Seph:

Yeah, this one, it's like, who are you?

Drew:

Yeah, maybe it's something super cheesy and specific.

Drew:

Like, 80% of crimes don't get solved after this amount of time.

Drew:

We had to speed it up.

Drew:

So it made sense that he solved his own murder, because otherwise, statistically, he wouldn't like that show.

Kyle:

48 hours.

Kyle:

Every time I turn on a tv in a hotel room, that show is on.

Kyle:

Yep.

Kyle:

It doesn't matter.

Kyle:

If I'm there in the morning and I turn on a hotel tv, 48 hours is on.

Drew:

Always on.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

It's like, this is not giving me any confidence.

Kyle:

Like, why?

Seph:

For me, it's family guy.

Kyle:

Oh, really?

Kyle:

Yeah, that's always on the plane.

Seph:

I was in London, and I was in a hotel and turned on the tv.

Seph:

And the first thing on, his family guy.

Kyle:

That's so funny.

Seph:

I'm surprised this is on in England right now.

Kyle:

That's amazing.

Kyle:

Shall we war?

Seph:

Let's war.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Shall we?

Kyle:

Corvus.

Kyle:

Shall we discover why we were killed?

Kyle:

I don't know.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

Who knows?

Kyle:

Top Bill Cass, which does not include the guy that played the crow.

Seph:

What?

Kyle:

Kirsten Dunst, William Atherton, and Debbie fan.

Seph:

I think every single one of them did the best that they could with what was given to them.

Seph:

Clearly.

Seph:

And I would be interested.

Seph:

I doubt this information exists as far as, like, publicly available, but I would love to know what order they shot it in.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

Because for some reason, the first 45 minutes, you could tell there was passion.

Seph:

You could tell that people were actually trying to do their absolute best, and then whatever happened with the last 45 minutes.

Seph:

Minutes.

Seph:

Maybe even longer than that.

Seph:

No one gave.

Kyle:

Is that they.

Drew:

They had read the script and they're like, this is where we're going.

Drew:

Yeah.

Drew:

Okay.

Kyle:

Or do they find out it wasn't gonna be in theaters, like they gave me?

Kyle:

God.

Kyle:

I know you all thought this was a theatrical release.

Kyle:

We're going straight to dvd.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

I genuinely would love to know, because for.

Seph:

And most movies, for those of you who don't know, most movies are not shot in any type of chronological order.

Seph:

Most the time they're looking at what locations can we get at what point?

Seph:

And they're going to schedule around.

Seph:

All the.

Drew:

All the shots in one location are filmed on the same day.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

Even if it's like, you know, this scene takes place in the first 20 minutes, the movie, and this one's at the end.

Seph:

If it's in the same location, they're gonna shoot it in the same week.

Seph:

And so, yeah, I would be very curious to know, like, what order they shot this in, because somehow it was a very fine line in the middle of the movie where you could tell.

Seph:

No.

Drew:

Fuck.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Literally, the only movie I can think of that was shot sequentially was Mad Max two, but that's because it was all shot in the same region.

Kyle:

Like, literally the only movie I know that was shot in order.

Kyle:

I can't think of another one.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

Every now and then.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

And I can't.

Seph:

None of them come to mind at this point, but every now and then, I've heard of a couple of movies where it's like, I shot this mostly in order because I needed the actors to go through some shit before they hit these emotional scenes.

Seph:

But even Lord of the Rings, they were supposed to shoot something for fellowship the very first week of shooting, and there was massive storms, massive floods in New Zealand.

Seph:

And so they went into the squash court of the hotel they were staying in and shot a scene from Return of the king, but they shot half the scene.

Seph:

So when you watch that scene, the.

Seph:

The shots between Frodo and Sam are happening a year apart.

Kyle:

Wow.

Seph:

Just because that's all that they had the room for to shoot.

Seph:

And they had to shoot.

Seph:

Shoot something that week.

Kyle:

Wow.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

So just never know what order they're gonna be, man.

Kyle:

Jackson had a lot of freedom.

Seph:

Oh, my God.

Seph:

Yes.

Kyle:

Usually they wouldn't, like, even a good director doesn't get away with that.

Seph:

Seriously, though.

Seph:

But again, it's like, if the park that you're supposed to shoot in is literally flooding, what are you gonna do?

Seph:

We're gonna paint this room blue and we're gonna put some rocks in it, and we're gonna shoot this part of the scene.

Seph:

And then they literally left the set in that squash court.

Seph:

That hotel was without a squash court for a year, year and a half.

Seph:

And then they came back and shot the other half the scene and then got rid of it.

Seph:

But, yeah, you don't ever hear of most movies shooting in any type of chronological order.

Kyle:

That's wild.

Drew:

Yeah, I'm gonna give this one as a crow flies.

Drew:

Cause I thought everyone in the cast did great.

Drew:

Yeah, I thought.

Drew:

And.

Drew:

And I'll give Kirsten Dunst like, two crows flying.

Drew:

Cause I thought.

Drew:

I thought she.

Drew:

I mean, I thought she killed it in this one.

Seph:

Like, I didn't know we could give multiple crows.

Drew:

I just made it up right there.

Kyle:

A murder of crows.

Kyle:

You know why that we didn't even talk about that quote from it.

Kyle:

Do you know what they call a group of crows?

Drew:

I was like, yeah.

Drew:

Get it?

Kyle:

Vocabulary.

Drew:

I'm watching these movies for lines like that.

Drew:

Yeah.

Drew:

If there's not enough lines, like, I'm like, well, yeah, wasted opportunity.

Kyle:

Yeah, kill them with vocabulary.

Kyle:

Perez.

Seph:

For actors doing their best with the shitstorm they were handed.

Seph:

I agree.

Seph:

Crow flies.

Seph:

Everyone did the best that they possibly could.

Kyle:

Yeah, sorry, you're gonna say, oh, I.

Drew:

Was just saying with Chris, is she like the ending?

Drew:

Like, when you saw how, like, not well, she was and how she was like, so cool killing this guy and.

Drew:

Nope.

Drew:

Mister live for better.

Drew:

Like, the guy, the crow telling everyone to like, do better.

Drew:

Saving the.

Drew:

Saving the stripper.

Drew:

He was kind of cool with it.

Drew:

He was like, you know, she's been through a lot.

Drew:

We'll let that one go.

Seph:

Yeah, granted, she did literally have her mouth so shut by the guy.

Drew:

That was intense.

Kyle:

Which was kind of out of left field.

Drew:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was.

Drew:

Well, it was out of left field, but right before that, we saw the cop trying to get with the 15 year old.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

I was like, yeah, this is what we're signing up for.

Seph:

What's funny for me is literally while that was happening, I was doing planks right there.

Seph:

And so I didn't see that she got her mouth sewed shut, and then I stood up and was like, is her mouth so, yeah, so, yeah, that was way out of left field for me.

Kyle:

And then she cuts her own.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah.

Seph:

Which, I mean, that was kind of cool, I gotta be honest.

Seph:

Like that.

Seph:

That was one of those moments where it's like, oh, I'm almost getting some saw vibes from this before saw even came out.

Kyle:

They kind of.

Kyle:

I guess you can get away with that straight.

Kyle:

I guess the MPAA probably doesn't, like, judge it the same.

Seph:

Yeah, well, there wasn't much gore.

Seph:

Like, there wasn't a ton of blood.

Seph:

There wasn't, like, crazy.

Seph:

Even when.

Seph:

Even when he shot the dude through the mouth, like, you're not seeing blood splatter.

Drew:

We talk about the fake, like, the blood when he's on the thing and he's, like, getting his power back and, like, it looks like he's oozing lava.

Kyle:

It looks like ketchup.

Drew:

Yeah.

Drew:

I was like, did they run out of money?

Seph:

Yeah, quite possibly blood I've ever seen.

Drew:

And be like, hey, man, we're gonna give you this one.

Kyle:

Zan.

Kyle:

It looked like sweet and sour sauce.

Drew:

I kind of was, like, hungry.

Drew:

Like, I was.

Drew:

Yeah, that looks like you'd go great with a chicken nugget or a crab rangoon.

Drew:

It was just.

Drew:

And it was like.

Drew:

It was like this, you know, powerful mo.

Drew:

Like, you know, there's a director who's like, this is gonna be the thing that takes away.

Seph:

So of the three we've looked at, this is the lowest budget.

Seph:

This was 10 million versus 13 million for city of angels and 26 million for the original crow God.

Kyle:

When you break it down that way, that the difference is that 3 million is actually insane.

Kyle:

To think that they had a better.

Kyle:

But I know it's not a lot.

Kyle:

But seriously, like, they had.

Kyle:

They also had more resources.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Because they had more firepower executives, executive wise on the second one.

Kyle:

And, yeah, they still delivered.

Seph:

They still shat the bed so hard.

Drew:

I love that half of this episode is us still being like, I'm not okay with angels.

Kyle:

We had to keep.

Drew:

We're not fully processed yet on.

Kyle:

I haven't grieved.

Kyle:

Well, that was because.

Kyle:

It's because they took that shot two years after Brandon Lee died.

Kyle:

I mean, that's like.

Kyle:

And they didn't take a good shot.

Seph:

At least they waited five years for this.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And they did something totally different.

Drew:

They were so recovery, and they're like, we don't.

Drew:

Someone, like, was like, I don't even know what to say about that.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah.

Kyle:

I go, the crow flies here, too, and it's for the same reason.

Kyle:

Listen, like, time and context matters.

Kyle:

I don't expect dynamic range.

Kyle:

I'm not watching this movie to expect, you know, a Daniel Day Lewis walking Phoenix level of dynamic, you know?

Kyle:

And it's good to set your expectations, because if this was a major distribution of theatrical release, then my expectations would be higher.

Kyle:

But now that I know so much about the process and how the film ended up just landing on video.

Kyle:

Yeah, I think.

Kyle:

I think we see above average for that.

Kyle:

I mean, listen, I'm a big Stephen King reader, and I have seen straight to TV King adaptions that this shits on.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

That are horrific that Stephen King directed himself.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

So I do think that this should get some credit for that.

Kyle:

And we get early Walton Goggins.

Kyle:

And honestly, I thought the Walton Goggins line, my quote about the baby turned down.

Kyle:

The baby gets a little credit because he was not known at this time, but they kind of let him let loose.

Kyle:

It's the only time, really, anyone shows a little dynamic rank.

Kyle:

All of a sudden, he's not really been a big character.

Drew:

He's, like, so annoyed at it, crying.

Seph:

I will say he and Tim decay were my two favorite characters.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And they look like really early versions of who they would eventually goggins.

Kyle:

I was like, that's early goggins right there.

Kyle:

I could see.

Seph:

Absolutely.

Seph:

Yeah, yeah.

Kyle:

Oh, yeah.

Kyle:

So righteous gemstones.

Kyle:

So.

Seph:

It's so good.

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

So did you give it a.

Kyle:

What?

Kyle:

Did you give it?

Seph:

I gave it the crow flies, I think.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

I think everyone, for what they were given, did the best they could possibly have done.

Drew:

In fact, they probably did better than what they were giving.

Drew:

They probably.

Drew:

We probably saw good acting with the crappy line.

Seph:

Yeah, no, absolutely.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Awesome.

Kyle:

We're off to a strangely positive start for.

Seph:

Seriously, though, like I said, y'all, compared to last week, I think this one's gonna do a little bit better.

Drew:

Given us, like, a match and.

Drew:

Yeah, well, that's a.

Drew:

That's better.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Than shitty of angels supporting cast, which.

Seph:

Includes our main protagonist, which includes the crow.

Kyle:

Eric Mabes is Alex Corvus, Jody Lynn O'Keefe as Lauren Randall, Fred Ward, which is hilarious to me, as police captain Madden and then Grant shot as Peter Walsh.

Kyle:

We're getting down into a lot of names.

Kyle:

Well, I guess Dale Midkiff as Detective Stan Roberts.

Kyle:

That's familiar.

Kyle:

But what do you all thing?

Seph:

I mean, again, I think.

Seph:

I think everyone did the best they could.

Seph:

Like, I didn't have any complaints with the acting.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

Perfectly honest with you.

Seph:

I think everyone was.

Seph:

Even if they had shitty lines, they were delivering.

Seph:

They tried.

Seph:

They were.

Seph:

I could tell that there was actual, like, effort put into what they were doing.

Drew:

I liked.

Drew:

Yeah, I liked it.

Drew:

They.

Drew:

I mean, again, it wasn't like I didn't go into this movie being like, I hope I see some really good acting.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

But, but I thought they did well.

Drew:

They.

Drew:

I found myself caring about the characters more.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

So, yeah, legit.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

I give it the crow flies.

Kyle:

The only one I have a problem with on here is, is, is Lauren Randall, played by Jody Leno Keefe in those, in those flashbacks.

Kyle:

That.

Kyle:

Yeah, that's unforgivable.

Kyle:

Yeah, that's some bad.

Kyle:

But again, I mean, that's bad in a straight to video.

Kyle:

Yeah, we hear.

Kyle:

I mean, it's.

Seph:

But again, when you're handed a shit storm of lines.

Kyle:

Yes.

Seph:

There's only so much you can do with it.

Seph:

And she arguably was handed the worst of everything.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah, I agree.

Kyle:

Well, well, we're stacking it up here.

Kyle:

Two for the crow flies here.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Poetic killings.

Kyle:

So this, once again, for the audience, creative, interesting deaths, because the killings are always interesting in this franchise.

Seph:

The only reason I'm going crow flies is because of that car scene.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

That car scene took me so by surprise.

Seph:

I was not, I had the most over the top expectations of what they were gonna do, and it was gonna look so bad, but they literally kept it in such real time.

Seph:

And sometimes I want the Zack Snyder treatment.

Seph:

I want it to be in super slow motion.

Seph:

I want to see every little visceral, tiny detail that you could have other times.

Seph:

If you're going to show me a car crash, I want.

Seph:

I want the carnage of.

Seph:

This is how it would happen in real time.

Seph:

And the way that they were thrown out of that windshield so fast.

Seph:

I give it the crow flies just for that.

Kyle:

Okay.

Drew:

I love, I love.

Drew:

I go crow flies.

Drew:

I loved that scene.

Drew:

That was great scene.

Drew:

Also, the fact that also ended with more crow paper.

Drew:

Like, where did you have the time to make that?

Drew:

You know, like, that was good for him.

Drew:

Yeah, he's good.

Drew:

You know, maybe he was a painter.

Seph:

I got a paint with blood.

Drew:

I mean, anytime we're killing pedophiles, I'm a fan.

Drew:

Cops, like, yeah, like that.

Drew:

I love.

Kyle:

I'm always for that.

Drew:

That was a cool scene.

Drew:

And, like, the fact.

Drew:

And, like, it set me in a good mood because it was like, that's the first one.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

I was like, I think, oh, if that's where we're starting, then.

Drew:

And then the ending when he killed, he electric chaired the guy that was in charge of him getting the chair.

Drew:

I was like, yeah, I'm digging it.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

I mean, like, I allow myself to not be a good person when I watch these movies.

Drew:

Like, let's keep them.

Drew:

Keep those good murders coming.

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Keep killing the pedophiles.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Cut all their balls off.

Seph:

I don't think that makes you not a good person to want to see pedophiles die.

Kyle:

We should do that in real life.

Seph:

Yes.

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

We should have a volcano, a favorite volcano.

Kyle:

We'll call it Pedo volcano.

Kyle:

We just need them and just dangle them.

Seph:

Pedicano.

Drew:

Can we become like movie movie wars by day and then we're killing pedophiles by night?

Kyle:

Sure.

Seph:

I am down to be the Batman that murders pedophiles.

Kyle:

There's a whole twitter follow about dudes that are like, volunteer and they like, deceive predators.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Have you seen those?

Seph:

I have.

Kyle:

And they beat the shit out of them.

Drew:

Show about it.

Kyle:

Yeah, these guys are like, I don't think it's legal, but they literally like.

Kyle:

And these dudes are jacked.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

They're like boxers and rappers and they like, deceive them.

Kyle:

Like, you did you want to meet a twelve year old girl?

Kyle:

Yeah, I got broken.

Kyle:

They literally, like, just.

Kyle:

And they do it in public.

Seph:

It's not legal.

Seph:

But is anyone really going to complain about it?

Seph:

Like, is anyone really going to be like, oh, they need to go to jail?

Kyle:

I think it's good.

Kyle:

Especially as the father of two daughters, man.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I actually did go eat crow here.

Kyle:

And I love the car crash scene.

Kyle:

To me, this is where I think I missed the physicality.

Kyle:

It feels like the car crash is awesome.

Kyle:

I actually think it was better than anything we saw in the second one.

Seph:

But we wouldn't even call it by its name.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I don't even want to say it.

Kyle:

I don't want to say it out loud.

Drew:

We're in the moving on phase of our grief.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

We're grieving the death, the hour, and what are the 84 minutes we spent?

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

But I just think it's funny.

Kyle:

Like, I know they draft.

Kyle:

They draft.

Kyle:

Yeah, they, they cast Mabius to.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Thank you, granddaddy.

Kyle:

Old granddaddy.

Kyle:

They cast.

Kyle:

Maybe it's because they wanted a younger guy, but they also cast a guy that really has what seems to be very little martial arts background.

Kyle:

Yeah, the fights are very limited.

Kyle:

It's like one punch every, like four minutes.

Kyle:

Even when he's fighting these, I just, like, I'm just.

Kyle:

There were times where I'm like, what is he, is he going to do something or you're just going to say sarcastic remarks?

Kyle:

Now, eventually, they did get some good deaths, but I just think.

Kyle:

I just think it was, is.

Kyle:

I just I don't know.

Kyle:

I honestly, I was bored to tears, but you guys voted.

Kyle:

You guys win.

Kyle:

I get it.

Kyle:

So it's three to zero, but I get it.

Kyle:

But again, life.

Drew:

Stop being disappointed.

Kyle:

Yeah, I know, but the car crash is killer.

Drew:

Literally.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

Had that not been in there, I would be 100% on board with you, because even the.

Seph:

The finale, the electric chair death, that was good.

Seph:

Not great.

Seph:

The.

Seph:

I don't even know how to describe it, just how visceral that car crash was.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

I feel like.

Drew:

I feel like this is one of those where you could change the qualification, which are asking.

Drew:

And then for me, it would be, like, a different answer.

Drew:

So, like, if it was, like, were these good action scenes?

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

No, like, that.

Drew:

This movie, definitely, in comparison to the other two, did not have good action scenes.

Drew:

Yeah, but the question was, were they good deaths?

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

And it was like.

Drew:

And to me, like, yeah.

Drew:

And this whole movie was more of, like, a murder mystery vibe than, like, an action hero.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

It's just that by the time they died, I was bored.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I was like, I think I'm.

Kyle:

Oh, they died.

Kyle:

Oh, good.

Kyle:

Finally.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

You know, three kicks later, the lead.

Seph:

Up, definitely not great, but the physical deaths themselves, I was down with.

Kyle:

Okay, cool.

Kyle:

Well, hey, it's three to zero.

Kyle:

We got a positive trend here.

Seph:

That's insane, y'all.

Seph:

This is crazy.

Kyle:

Maybe we can be safe.

Drew:

Salvation.

Kyle:

The next one, the mask.

Drew:

Oh, okay.

Drew:

This is.

Drew:

This was the worst.

Seph:

You go first.

Drew:

I'm so sorry.

Drew:

I.

Drew:

I hated everything about their, like, their dress.

Drew:

I hated that.

Drew:

This, that.

Drew:

The set, I guess the sets.

Drew:

Not this, but we'll get to that.

Drew:

But, yeah, yeah, it was like, they got all these great actors, and then they're like, what do you want us to.

Drew:

What's wardrobe wanting us to wear?

Drew:

Like, when she.

Drew:

We come to get dressed and like, oh, just.

Drew:

Just come with your casual Fridays.

Drew:

I mean, they were literally, like, regular people, and that's fine if this was a regular city.

Drew:

But the past two movies, we've built this.

Drew:

Well, one movie and then one attempted of a movie, they built this narrative of, like, this is a.

Drew:

Like, where was my chemical romance looking people?

Drew:

Where's my emo fate?

Drew:

Like, where's my:

Drew:

And this was literally in the two thousands.

Seph:

Goth culture had really taken over.

Drew:

Like, it should have been all american rejects and good charlotte existed.

Drew:

It's fine.

Drew:

It's fine.

Drew:

But I'm gonna totally give it an eat crow here.

Seph:

So here's my thing.

Seph:

As great as I thought the physical crow mask was being scars.

Seph:

There wasn't actual paint involved.

Seph:

Like, they really tried to do something different.

Seph:

I agree with you.

Seph:

I don't think that as good as that was, it could save everything.

Drew:

Right.

Seph:

I am gonna say there was a good mask, though.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

I I also thought another thing, and then we'll get.

Drew:

You're that sure.

Drew:

Um.

Drew:

I didn't realize until our last episode that these aren't all happening in the same place.

Drew:

Right.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

And so I thought it would be kind of cool for the narrative if they were all in the same place.

Drew:

You know, the first two movies, and there's, like, a time jump between the movies, the first two, you know, this is just this real shitty city, and you can see how grungy it is.

Drew:

But the third movie is the first time you have corrupt cops.

Drew:

I think it would have been a fun narrative for the shitty of the city if it was like, outwardly things were looking better, crime was looking even at one place like, yeah, I'm down.

Drew:

But you had more corruption in the cops, so.

Drew:

Still a shitty city, but everything just looked better.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

I was like, that would be cool.

Drew:

But they're not doing that.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah.

Seph:

This really is not the series for nuance.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kyle:

It's.

Kyle:

Once you take away a couple of really amazing actors and creativity, this thing really.

Kyle:

It changes.

Kyle:

Yeah, I go the same.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Eat crow.

Kyle:

And, like you said, I like the method.

Kyle:

I like that they were thinking differently about how he gets it, but I don't like the way it looks.

Kyle:

I don't know why he has two lines on one side, one on the other.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

It's.

Kyle:

And it kind of like.

Kyle:

And this is one way it does relate back to city of angels, which.

Kyle:

That they.

Kyle:

There's stuff happening that they do a horrible job informing you of.

Kyle:

Like, they're doing a lot of expose in one area, but in, like, key things.

Kyle:

Like, oh, that's Sarah from the first movie.

Kyle:

We're gonna let you figure that out.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Without any detail.

Kyle:

That's kind of the mask for me.

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

It's kind of like, okay, he peeled off his face.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And he's got.

Kyle:

I don't like that mask.

Kyle:

And also the wardrobe, and everyone kind of looks like they rated, like, third coast comedies, improv.

Kyle:

Like, even Fred Ward.

Kyle:

Fred Ward's a good actor.

Kyle:

Like, he's been in some big movies.

Kyle:

Right.

Kyle:

Fred Ward's, you know, he's not super dynamic.

Kyle:

He's always Fred Ward, but he's, you know, he's been in some key roles in some movies, but even his police uniform kind of looked like it was ordered on Amazon for Halloween.

Kyle:

I'm just like, there's nothing.

Kyle:

Nothing really unique here.

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

So I go eat crow.

Kyle:

Good.

Kyle:

Finally, a negative.

Drew:

Nobody wants us to be nice and positive all the time.

Kyle:

No, no, I know.

Kyle:

Maybe we're just feeling bad because the last one, you know, we really.

Seph:

Last one was so bad, it really.

Drew:

It really made me rethink all my life decisions.

Kyle:

Yeah, we really dropped the guillotine on Vincent Perez.

Seph:

Yeah.

Seph:

I'm sorry, bro.

Seph:

I know you tried.

Kyle:

I know you were not.

Drew:

Yeah, he's a big fan.

Drew:

Fan of the podcast.

Kyle:

Yeah, he is.

Drew:

He was a big fan.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Last week, he wanted me to reiterate, he texted me.

Kyle:

He says, remember, I'm big in Europe.

Kyle:

He says, I'm big in Europe.

Kyle:

Always have been.

Drew:

People like french romantic dramas, music.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Historical romance films.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Films that have the word bosom.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Love events.

Kyle:

How good are these bad guys, huh?

Seph:

I mean, I.

Seph:

I gotta say, the crow flies on this one.

Kyle:

Okay.

Seph:

I.

Seph:

Again, you're seeing some fantastic actors just before they hit their prime as they're building themselves up and really learning how to experiment with characters, learning how to get out of their comfort zone.

Seph:

I know.

Seph:

Knowing what Walton Goggins becomes today, knowing what Tim decay has done, knowing what all of these people have done, I.

Seph:

I think, once again, same.

Seph:

Same with, just, like, the cast in general.

Seph:

All of them were given something that was not great, but they all said, we're going to make this the best thing it can possibly be.

Seph:

I genuinely enjoyed Tim decay being this unhinged motherfucker that he is, watching, especially watching him in white collar and seeing how reserved he is as the character of Peter Burke, seeing him be this absolutely bat shit crazy corrupt cop.

Seph:

I gotta say, the crow flies.

Seph:

It was.

Seph:

I thought it was fantastic.

Seph:

I thoroughly enjoyed their characters.

Drew:

I feel like if the question was, how good were these actors?

Drew:

I'd say, as the crow flies.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

But, like, I didn't feel any, like, kind of, like, connection with the.

Drew:

With the villains or anything like that.

Drew:

They were.

Drew:

It was just like a group of corrupt cops.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

Like, and so I'm gonna, like, at least with the second one they tried to give, like, they did it terribly, but they were like, here's the bad guys, and this is why they're bad.

Drew:

And you're like, I don't feel like you really told us this is why they're bad, but you're wanting me to think you did with this one.

Drew:

It was like, bad cops like, I'm not even too sure.

Drew:

Like, like, it's just unmemorable.

Drew:

Like, the whole situation that, like, why they were being corrupt cops.

Drew:

All I know is that they were corrupt copse.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

And, you know, anyway, so I'm gonna give it eat crows.

Drew:

But I do.

Drew:

I do agree.

Drew:

I mean, that being said, I agree with everything.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I also give it eats crow because.

Seph:

It'S fair, you know, I'm fine being the odd man out on this one.

Kyle:

Damn right it's fair.

Kyle:

Seth, it's your house.

Kyle:

I just love randomly yelling.

Kyle:

That's, like, my thing.

Seph:

Hey, my roommate's not even home, so feel free.

Kyle:

She's such a nice person, too.

Seph:

She is.

Kyle:

What's her name again?

Seph:

McKenna.

Kyle:

This is for you, McKenna.

Seph:

McKenna works at WWE.

Seph:

We love you.

Drew:

Thank you, McKenna.

Kyle:

And WWE love wrestling.

Kyle:

I, uh.

Drew:

These.

Kyle:

God, you know, I love Walton Goggins, and I know he.

Kyle:

He's the best thing going in this.

Kyle:

This crew of criminals.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And he eventually be.

Kyle:

I mean, him and hateful eight is just fucking phenomenal.

Seph:

Oh, good.

Kyle:

But for every one Walton goggins, I feel like there's like 50 cutouts that don't even really make it as, like, secondary guys in an HBO show.

Kyle:

Like the wire.

Kyle:

Like, these guys wouldn't hack it in the wire.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

You know what I mean?

Kyle:

As, like, just cutouts and.

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Now, granted, the wire is high, high end, but they still have to have, like, random cops.

Kyle:

You know what I mean?

Kyle:

I just, you know, and even the guy, that's the perv, and I'm glad he died, but that guy, I'm even just like, it's just so thick.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I'm just like, oh, my God.

Kyle:

There's just nothing compelling to me.

Kyle:

And even Fred Ward a little bit.

Kyle:

I know.

Kyle:

I've seen Fred Ward do more.

Kyle:

Everything is just very telegraphed.

Kyle:

And so I went that way.

Kyle:

I just.

Kyle:

They completely disinterested me.

Kyle:

And also, I think a lot of it's plot of.

Kyle:

I don't know that these guys believe why they're in this thing in the first place.

Kyle:

Like, the whole.

Kyle:

The whole reason they framed them.

Kyle:

Why, you know, and like, as the viewer, I'm kind of like, well, what is their motivation?

Kyle:

And with a scar guy.

Seph:

Well, I mean, so I will jump in on this one.

Seph:

I'm gonna jump on this grenade.

Seph:

I know I disagree with both of you on this, and that's totally fine, but here's that flashback where she sees them kill that random dude.

Seph:

Yeah, we don't know who that dude, is.

Seph:

That's fine.

Seph:

But we see that they clearly have been corrupt for a very long time.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

This is ingrained in who they are.

Seph:

And the fact that they just saw her and were like, fuck her.

Seph:

We're gonna kill her.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

And that led to her dying in front of him and then them killing him.

Seph:

Like, I don't know.

Seph:

That that is something I am gonna disagree with you on, is I do feel like even though it was boring as hell to get to, they did give the proper motivation for why these people are doing the thing they're doing here.

Kyle:

I just wish they emoted.

Seph:

That I agree with.

Seph:

I agree with that.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

But I do think they.

Seph:

They tried to at least give that motivation.

Drew:

You know what I think would have helped with that is if you have this gang of bad cops, if there's one throughout the movie, who started second guessing what they were doing.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

And so you saw one cop trying to start, like, beating a little bit better, and then when they killed that.

Drew:

When they killed that person, it would make them all look like, meaner.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

That would have helped.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Interesting.

Kyle:

Okay.

Drew:

Peter Burke.

Drew:

That's the start of him.

Drew:

And then he comes back a white collar as the crow and the Avengers.

Kyle:

But we can say one thing, and may this would maybe edge it over is.

Kyle:

Thank God that Iggy Pop isn't here.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Curve floating in the river with the flowers.

Drew:

Someone told me.

Drew:

Someone when I.

Drew:

Because I always posted on watching these movies and get people's feedback.

Drew:

Someone's like, iggy Pop was the best part of the movie.

Drew:

I did not know how to be, like, you couldn't be more wrong.

Seph:

And, well, they're gonna find out now.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

Oh, gosh.

Kyle:

The fact that we were thinking, like, in this movie could use a star.

Kyle:

It could use another star, you know, to kind of just.

Kyle:

And the fact that Iggy, like, we'd rather have this than Iggy Pop added here is.

Kyle:

And thank.

Kyle:

The fact that we're like, thank God he didn't get the fun ball roll.

Kyle:

All right, it's three to two.

Kyle:

The crow flies three and eats crow two.

Kyle:

It's getting down.

Kyle:

This might be our first tiebreaker where we get to that 7th.

Kyle:

Sometimes this happens on movie wars.

Kyle:

You get to that 7th category and that determines the sentiment.

Kyle:

That's kind of wild.

Kyle:

That's about as wild as it gets.

Kyle:

Besides me screaming.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

That's the kind of wallet I live for, man.

Drew:

Let's do it.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

What's called numerical.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Numerical terrorism.

Kyle:

Here we go.

Kyle:

All right.

Kyle:

Shitty city award.

Kyle:

I like that you used it earlier.

Kyle:

You were actually subconsciously saying shitty.

Kyle:

I love that.

Kyle:

Yeah, that warms my heart.

Kyle:

What do you think?

Drew:

I.

Drew:

I'm gonna.

Drew:

For the same reasons I was so against the mask, I'm against this one where.

Drew:

Yeah, so I'm gonna say e crows.

Drew:

Cuz, like this, it did not look well.

Drew:

It.

Drew:

I am kind of a little let down that this isn't always in the same city.

Drew:

I like to believe in a universe where crows resurrect people for vengeance.

Drew:

It'll make happens in, like, one city.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

I like to think that their network is still small.

Drew:

They haven't franchise like, what is tulsa.

Kyle:

Get a crow.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

No, like, I think.

Drew:

I think just one crazy crow city is all we.

Drew:

To me, that just makes this universe more achievable.

Kyle:

Yeah, I dig that.

Drew:

But.

Drew:

So I just.

Drew:

You know, if even the second one looked more what it's supposed to look.

Kyle:

Oh, smog.

Kyle:

It was smog all the hell.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Drew:

This one would make the.

Drew:

A terrible start of a McRheen.

Drew:

Our music video.

Seph:

We're gonna hit a tiebreaker because I'm going to eat crow as well.

Seph:

Because here's the thing.

Seph:

My.

Seph:

And it's not even the physical set pieces that you saw.

Seph:

My complaint with the world was the color correction.

Seph:

The fact that everything was so over saturated, but only with, like, two colors, with, like, red and orange, a little bit of yellow in there.

Seph:

version of a JPeG from, like,:

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seph:

Like, it just.

Seph:

None of it looked convincing.

Seph:

There was such character in the first one, even though some of it was, like, overwashed with the kind of green filter that they were doing back in the nineties.

Seph:

This one was so over the top with its contrast, and it's just the physical color correction.

Seph:

I gotta go eat grow.

Drew:

I wonder if that's where.

Drew:

I almost wonder if the wardrobe, the scenery was where they saved budget because it wasn't.

Drew:

What's, like, the cast?

Seph:

No, no.

Drew:

Like, so, yeah, I feel like they just, like we're.

Drew:

Like, we're not gonna.

Drew:

It felt like they just weren't trying, like a whole movie.

Kyle:

Yeah, I go eats crow too.

Kyle:

Because this is definitely where this differentiate differentiates the most from the first two.

Kyle:

There's nothing visibly wrong with this city.

Seph:

No.

Kyle:

Whereas the first two, like, all you have to do even before you see the crimes happen, like, oh, my God, this is a shitty city.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Go.

Kyle:

Little callback.

Kyle:

But you look in this city, it's like, well, when you take the criminals out of it.

Kyle:

This kind of just looks like me driving through Franklin.

Drew:

You know?

Kyle:

It's like.

Kyle:

It looks like just like a loading dog.

Kyle:

Like, there's no pollution.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And that is really so against everything that the first dude at least put some trash on the ground.

Kyle:

A couple of homeless folks.

Drew:

Like, it doesn't even look like Frank.

Drew:

Okay, that was mean.

Kyle:

That was.

Seph:

Welcome to my home, y'all.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Well.

Seph:

I think you meant north Nashville.

Kyle:

You meant eastern.

Kyle:

Eastern.

Seph:

Eastern.

Drew:

Or north Nashville would be a good, more apt.

Kyle:

That's hilarious.

Drew:

All the Nashville people.

Drew:

I'm sorry.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

But in fact, you could almost argue, like, especially when you compare it to the first two.

Kyle:

This.

Kyle:

This place is immaculate.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

Yeah.

Drew:

I don't think they need a crow on patrol for avenging people and resurrecting people.

Drew:

They don't need a crow.

Kyle:

Yeah, we don't need a ginger fried crow.

Kyle:

All right.

Kyle:

Oh, I only.

Kyle:

I'm not going.

Drew:

They need to be in the rough.

Drew:

There's not.

Drew:

I don't know.

Drew:

Or maybe there's a lot of crows.

Drew:

We did see a bunch in the second movie, so they have plenty.

Drew:

And five years have passed, so maybe.

Kyle:

Side note, one of my absolute favorite things about the series has been you getting into the psychology of the crow.

Kyle:

Cause you've unlocked a whole new, like, a whole new aspect of comedy.

Kyle:

Because I just keep thinking about what the crow thinks and why the crow chooses in, like, this break room idea.

Seph:

What does the crow say?

Drew:

Did this movie have much personality for the Crow?

Drew:

Like, did we get much of the actual crow in this movie?

Seph:

Yeah, a little bit.

Seph:

I think we got about as much as the first or second one.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

I'm kind of.

Drew:

Oh, did he turn into a crow at some point, or did the crow pick him up and fly him away?

Kyle:

That's a thing of argument.

Seph:

He did.

Seph:

Jesus.

Seph:

Jump.

Kyle:

There's a lot of people.

Kyle:

And you'll listen to some podcasts.

Kyle:

I've read about this.

Kyle:

Some people say it's a bad edit that makes it look like he turned into a crow.

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Flew out.

Drew:

I was like, whoa.

Kyle:

But some people think it's just an edit and it's not him turning because it's just bad and it makes it.

Kyle:

And they just didn't do a good job.

Kyle:

So no one.

Kyle:

I don't think anyone actually knows there's a.

Drew:

If it's a thing, there's a possibility.

Drew:

Happened twice in the movie.

Drew:

Yeah.

Kyle:

One at the beginning.

Kyle:

What, the end?

Drew:

Yeah.

Drew:

Yeah.

Seph:

But, yeah, I think we all agree.

Seph:

Grow on this one.

Kyle:

Yeah, it's a tie.

Drew:

What happens?

Seph:

We got one.

Kyle:

We got one category.

Kyle:

This determines if we like the movie or not.

Kyle:

This is.

Kyle:

This is unexplored territory for movie wars 2.0.

Seph:

Oh, shit.

Seph:

Here we go.

Kyle:

Revenge served.

Kyle:

Awesome.

Kyle:

Did he.

Kyle:

Did the crime?

Kyle:

Did the punishment fit the crime?

Drew:

I think yes, as the crow flies, because he, especially at the end, he literally gave them the same medicine that they gave him.

Seph:

Yep.

Seph:

I 100% agree.

Seph:

Now, I think, again, that car crash takes me to just one point over into.

Seph:

Yeah, this was good.

Seph:

The.

Seph:

Even the final death, as.

Seph:

As rough as it was, I think it fit the theme, especially that the first one brings forth.

Kyle:

Yeah, I actually.

Kyle:

Yeah, same.

Kyle:

The crow flies.

Kyle:

And listen, I didn't necessarily love the electric chair thing at the end, but they did something different.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And I kind of liked laughing at the fact that this guy's got mythical powers, you know, but he still, like, puts effort to haul in this guy's ass all the way to the electric chair that killed him.

Kyle:

And, like, he had to, like, it just wasn't a very mythical process.

Kyle:

Like, I get in the car, you know, it's like, we gotta take this guy.

Kyle:

And I guess.

Kyle:

I guess I'm, like, questioning myself on my own category.

Kyle:

Like, literally the punishment fit the crime because he literally did.

Kyle:

And I think that's kind of cool.

Kyle:

Actually, in a movie that.

Kyle:

Where I said that didn't have.

Kyle:

The deaths weren't great.

Kyle:

They didn't do a good job there.

Kyle:

The last one did kind of have this funny.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Callback.

Drew:

I feel like it ties.

Drew:

I.

Drew:

At least, especially in the first one.

Drew:

I don't care enough about the second one to check, but, like, the first one, all the deaths fit.

Kyle:

Yep.

Drew:

What they did.

Seph:

Yeah.

Drew:

And I feel like this one.

Drew:

At least the last one did, but, like, I mean, he.

Drew:

I think the other deaths maybe didn't fit because they all just kind of killed him and he was done.

Kyle:

Yeah, they were kind of random.

Drew:

They were random, but they kind of fit the situations that they were in.

Seph:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Seph:

Crow flies.

Kyle:

Well, we got a pot by.

Kyle:

By the hair.

Kyle:

The hair of a hair of whatever they say.

Drew:

By the fur of the crow, by.

Kyle:

The feather, but the beak of a.

Kyle:

The beak of a.

Kyle:

Of a brand.

Kyle:

Row.

Seph:

Imagine birds with fur.

Kyle:

I think there is a bird with fur.

Seph:

Is there?

Kyle:

I think there is one at least.

Seph:

Pretty sure one of the, like, quintessential definitions of bird is.

Seph:

It has.

Drew:

I'm just picturing a flying squirrel, honestly.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I mean, they're dinosaurs.

Seph:

Yeah, true.

Kyle:

Well, this is crazy.

Seph:

We squeaked it by y'all.

Drew:

Wow.

Kyle:

Wow.

Seph:

This is the equivalent of a 5.1 out of ten.

Drew:

Yeah.

Drew:

I love it.

Kyle:

Well, next week, we go through wicked prayer.

Drew:

Heard it was the best in the.

Kyle:

Series, and I would recommend saying your prayers.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Before we got.

Kyle:

We got Dennis Hopper, who sometimes is like, he's one of the best actors ever.

Kyle:

And then you're like, oh, my God.

Seph:

Yeah.

Kyle:

What?

Kyle:

Who does he owe?

Kyle:

I'm excited.

Drew:

Like, I didn't know she was.

Kyle:

And I'm a die hard t two is in my top ten.

Kyle:

And this is post rehab.

Kyle:

Edward Furlong.

Kyle:

You know this is post American x, right?

Kyle:

American history x was.

Seph:

I think so.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

This is:

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Kyle:

This is crazy to see Edward Furlong here in this.

Kyle:

In this.

Kyle:

So it's gonna be interesting, but here we go.

Kyle:

Thank y'all.

Kyle:

This was a lot of fun.

Kyle:

I'm Kyle.

Seph:

I'm Seth.

Drew:

I'm Drew.

Kyle:

Love y'all have a great one next time.

Drew:

Holy.

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Movie Wars
A panel of standup comedians deliver deeply researched and thoughtful film analysis.
A panel of stand-up comedians blends humor with deep film analysis, using their unique ‘War Card’ system to grade movies across key categories. Each episode delivers thoughtful insights and spirited debate, offering a fresh, comedic take on film critique. New episode every Thursday!
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Kyle Castro