Episode 90

full
Published on:

10th Jun 2025

300 With James Holiday

🎙️ Sparta, Abs, and HBO-Caliber Sass: Comedian James Holiday Joins the War on “300”

Nashville comedy phenom James Holiday drops into the Movie Wars arena to help us tackle one of the most quotable and visually iconic films of the 2000s—300. From the slow-mo spear throws to Xerxes’ glistening body oil, we cover it all.


We break down Zack Snyder’s graphic novel fever dream: the shredded Spartans, the era-defining style, and how 300 became a cultural touchstone for dudes who discovered spray-tan abs. James brings both heart and hilarity, sharing insights from the stage, the makeup chair, and the back alleys of East Nashville.


We also dig into the historical controversy behind the Battle of Thermopylae, the film’s depiction of the Persians, and how Lena Headey’s Game-of-Thrones-caliber performance brought true grit to an otherwise testosterone-fueled bloodbath.


Plus:

  • Gerard Butler's failed audition and how he still landed Leonidas with one phone call
  • The surprising biblical connection to Xerxes
  • The moment Comic-Con was overtaken by spray-tanned Spartans
  • And yes, a full breakdown of betrayal coins, ab chiseling, and the rise of post-300 alpha influencer culture

⚔️ This episode is a full send into stylized violence, historical legend, and what happens when a movie is so brolic it becomes a personality type.


  • 🎧 Subscribe now. Share with your gym bros, comic nerds, and that guy who never stopped quoting 300 in 2007.
Transcript
Kyle:

Foreign. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Movie wars podcast. I'm your host, Kyle.

Seth:

I'm Seth.

Kyle:

And we have an amazing guest today. Introduce yourself.

James:

Hi, I'm James Holiday, one of our.

Kyle:

Amazing Nashville comedians going worldwide. How you doing, buddy?

James:

A little bothered, a little bewildered, a little confused.

Kyle:

Oh, no, no, it's okay.

Seth:

No, I feel that. Love those glasses, though.

James:

Thank you. I noticed immediately glass glasses are my.

Kyle:

Thing as a glasses wearer. I thought I had one. Then I saw those, and I was like, I don't. My glasses game is suffering.

Seth:

We'll get you there.

Kyle:

Please.

James:

Yeah. The other options were really fun, but they were almost. They're a little too tinted for this sort of thing. It's like, oh, heroin chic.

Seth:

Love it.

Kyle:

Yes. One of our great Nashville comedians. And you've been. You've been busy, man. You got show. You producing shows everywhere. You got shows everywhere.

James:

Yeah. We're trying to find the best place. The show's now called House of Holiday.

Seth:

Nice. That is such a good name for a show.

Kyle:

Yes.

James:

But it came about because just everybody online was like, will you be my aunt? Will you be my uncle? Will you be my dad? I was like, everybody's welcome in the House of Holiday.

Kyle:

Hell, yeah.

James:

the shows that I'm doing for:

Seth:

Hell, yeah.

James:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Awesome.

James:

And so we're doing music, we're doing comedy, we're doing social media, and I work in aesthetics part time, and I'm a retired teacher, so I just never sleep.

Seth:

There we go.

Kyle:

It's amazing.

James:

Always hustling.

Kyle:

It's amazing. You find time for your daily. I always look forward to your daily social media update.

James:

When you're walking, that's just every morning, getting up, no coffee, totally unfiltered. I just wake up.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

Mist myself with spring water. Figure out, am I just going to be in my T shirt and shorts I slept in, or put on a cute robe or just.

Seth:

Do you use that, like Evian, Mr. Have you had one of those before?

James:

It's a French. It's a French spring water, but it's like. It's not Evian.

Seth:

Yeah. If y' all want some solid entertainment every single day, follow James Holiday on Instagram. It is absolutely wonderful.

James:

James Holiday comedy on all platforms.

Seth:

There we go.

Kyle:

You're going to get an update every morning. Maybe a robe. I love the robe ones.

James:

Yeah, yeah. They have. They Love the robe. The Versace robe is always a hit. Yeah, save that for special occasions.

Seth:

Now there we go.

Kyle:

Well, speaking of robes, I can name 300 naked Spartans that could use a robe. Oh yeah, we're talking about 300 today.

Seth:

Woo. Probably, I mean this, this.

And I think, oh, I guess dawn of the Dead are probably Zack Snyder or I guess Watchmen to those are like the trifecta of great Zack Snyder movies.

Kyle:

You know, we talk about, and I think about this a lot just, you know, because I look at movies through the lens of the idea of cultural touchstones.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Because in the age of the Internet and everyone's divided.

I say divided, I don't mean just politically, but I mean people literally like you go out and you follow who you want to follow on Instagram, you listen to the podcast, you stream the movies you want to stream.

We've literally crafted our own lives in neighborhoods and like we've, you know, 20 years ago, like you, you, you went to see the movie with your friend. Like when Anchorman came out, you couldn't go five minutes without someone cracking, cracking an Anchorman joke at the water cooler at work.

Seth:

Awful.

Kyle:

This movie was one of the last great water cooler moments.

Seth:

Oh, 100%.

Kyle:

Not that I, not that that says what I think about the movie personally, but as a culture it was almost. You were ashamed. Like you haven't seen 300 yet. What are you doing?

Seth:

Well, that's the thing, like. Cause two years before the final Lord of the Rings had just come out, so we had that massive phenomena in or phenomenon in fantasy.

comes out in:

But then you have the other side where you have movies like Immortals or Conan the Barbarian with Jason Momoa that really try to emulate the look and the feel and the slow motion ness of 300. And we look at today and like I said, it's just. Those are the only two types of fantasy movies that come out at this point.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah. And it absolutely. And it's. What's wild is that this is based. And I'm not going to pretend to be a historian.

I'm very much like, choose your own adventure with history. Like there's like just segments of like philosophy or maybe certain, like.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Areas of history that I'M interested in.

But when you talk to historians in my research and people I've talked to like this before even this movie came out or before the comic came out in 98. This story is beloved by people who love history.

Seth:

Oh, yeah.

Kyle:

Thermopylae. The Battle of Thermopylae.

Seth:

Absolutely. I remember hearing it all the time when I was in middle school and high school. Like, yeah, this is one of the most talked about.

And I guess it's not even like a myth. Like we know it happened, but it kind of has reached like, mythological proportions of how the story gets told.

Kyle:

And what's wild is that. What's wild is like, it was such a big deal when it came out, and it was such like a. You got throttled if you hadn't seen it. But what.

I didn't realize that posthumously doing my research, this movie actually did have, like, an undercurrent of controversy to it.

Seth:

Oh, yeah.

Kyle:

But it. Because it was, you know, verge of Internet.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Pre social media, that I don't think we ever heard about it. But in my research, like, because of the Persians, the way the Persians are treated. Because that becomes Iran.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Right. But. And this was:

Seth:

Right, right.

Kyle:

Eight.:

Seth:

Oh, this is like:

Kyle:

2005. So, like, we're really close. We've got the war going on overseas, and so then Iran. Actually, they. They. This movie wasn't allowed to air at all.

Seth:

I'm not surprised.

Kyle:

And then obviously, what. How do you say his name f or the Hunchback?

Seth:

I don't know the actor's name.

Kyle:

I'm trying to remember. I. I can never say his name correctly, but. Oh, affiliates.

Seth:

Oh, yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah, affiliates. And he.

James:

I feel titties.

Kyle:

Yes. Yes. That's a great way to put it.

Seth:

Don't ever apologize for titty jokes.

Kyle:

And what's. What's funny is that the. That's a real story, but the real person was a shepherd, not a deformed person.

But then the choice to make him a hunchback and he becomes the. The reason. He becomes the betrayer.

Seth:

Yeah. The Judas.

Kyle:

Yeah, that. That was a huge controversy because, I mean.

And I don't even think we use this term a lot in public culture then, but ableism was the word that was thrown around.

Seth:

Was that a. Was that a graphic novel thing or was that just the movie?

Kyle:

No, in a graphic novel, too. That was a Frank Miller decision.

Seth:

Okay.

Kyle:

Yeah. So. But anyway, how did you experience the film when it came out?

James:

I saw it on imax.

Kyle:

Really?

Seth:

Oh my God, yes, that would be.

Kyle:

So you saw the abs right there?

James:

Oh, yeah. The abs were as big as me.

Kyle:

I am the left ab and I.

James:

Went with my straight best friend who looks like a WWE wrestler. So it's always funny. We walk into a room, it's like, oh, we know who the woman is. But if goes down, he's great.

Kyle:

Yes.

James:

Because he can actually body slam people. So.

Kyle:

Yeah. Did you like it? What did you think about it when you.

James:

I loved it, man. We went through the popcorn, the whole bit.

Seth:

It was really good. I definitely missed it in theaters, but I saw it in college and just. Yeah, absolutely.

James:

You weren't old enough to get into an R rated movie back then.

Seth:

I was 13, so I could have.

James:

With an adult, please God, let my balls drop.

Seth:

I've had a beard Since I was 15, thank you very much.

Kyle:

Nice. That's not. This is my beard.

Seth:

I've been this height since I was 12.

Kyle:

Really early bloomer.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

It's amazing. You didn't. Did you like dunk a ball for your friends?

Seth:

No, everyone thought it was going to be really tall and then I just stopped at 5:11.

Kyle:

That's what happens.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

Peaked.

Kyle:

Yeah. Yeah. All the best athletes. And that's what happened in my high school. All the best athletes, like, they, they were like, oh my God, they're giants.

And then they turned 16 and we all turned 16. We're like, oh, he's just normal, dude.

Seth:

Yeah. I think that's where my distrust of doctors came from is they told me I was going to be really tall.

They told my older sibling that they were going to be really short. They, they're six one. I'm five eleven. I'm just like, come on, guys. Like, yeah, come on, tell. Just tell the truth. You don't know.

Kyle:

So how do we feel about. Because this was interesting for me. I hadn't watched this movie in years and I did talk about on another Zack Snyder podcast that I'm not.

I was not a great fan of this movie when it came out.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I just. And really mostly it's with the visual representation.

Seth:

Sure.

Kyle:

Even though I think it was very innovative, the slow motion, the green screen, I also thought the novelty wore off relatively quick. Oh, I disagree at the time. That's how I felt personally. But. And, but at the same time, in my re. Watch, I actually.

One thing I noticed this time, that maybe I just wasn't smart enough to perceive the first time. But this movie, although I do think there are some moments where the blue screen and all the things kind of wears thin.

There are moments that produce insane visuals that are like.

Seth:

Oh, absolutely.

Kyle:

Like paint, paint. Like painter esque.

Seth:

I mean, it's based on a graphic novel. And. And one thing I do know about Zack Snyder is when he does have source material for his visuals, he's going to stick to that as closely as he can.

Yeah, we've seen it in Watchmen. We saw it with his Batman and Superman stuff. Like, there.

There are very classic visuals in especially the Frank Miller graphic novels and comics that he sticks to. And I think this. He probably did that the most. Like, literally every other frame looked like a frame straight out of a comic book book.

Kyle:

Well, he says on the commentary and in multiple interviews, he did not even want. He. This is literally what he says. I didn't want to adapt 300. He's like, I wanted to put motion to what was on the page.

Seth:

Exactly.

Kyle:

And that was his actual goal.

Seth:

Yeah. And I think he nailed it. I think again, like, say what you will, it may.

May not be your taste as far as, like, how the visuals are taken, but he beautifully recreated the. The idea of a graphic novel. And like he said, put motion to those visuals.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

Like, so well.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

And the violence was fun. I mean, like, my husband, who doesn't like violent movies, was like, this was easy to digest because it was almost like cartoon violence.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

None of it was gross. Sure, it was gory. Sure there was blood, but none of it was, like, over the top.

Let's pull their entrails out and let's, like, cut their face in half and see their brains. Like, it was very clean for what it was.

Kyle:

Well, a lot of that's because they didn't have the budget to do that. I mean, they did this on a $65 million budget.

Seth:

Shit.

Kyle:

Yeah. And the only way they did it, they got it. They got done filming in 60 days.

Seth:

Insane.

Kyle:

And they knew. They were like, we cannot do an epic because they were calling it epic because of Gladiator.

The success of Gladiator, all these sword and sandals spin offs, all these, you know, they redid Clash of the Titans. They were redoing all these movies.

Seth:

The Eagle with Channing Tatum.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

Oh, so bad. Name three good Channing Tatum movies.

Kyle:

I can't.

Seth:

Magic Mike, Magic Mike xl and Magic.

Kyle:

Mike the Last Dance and Magic Mike Goes to Rehab.

James:

And this is from straight people.

Seth:

I will say, I do love the 21 and 22 Jump street movies. Movies. Those are so good.

Kyle:

Yeah. But, you know, it's. It's. They were like, we can't do this story for 65. And that's why Zack Snyder. Because actually Michael Mann was at first.

It's funny, we talked about Collateral last week. Michael Mann actually was working on making a movie about the 300, about the battle of Thermopylae and.

But they weren't willing to greenlight it because they just didn't know how the budget lined up with this story. Yeah.

And that's when Zack Snyder became the perfect person because he had this innovative, this, like, idea, even though it hadn't permeated yet in culture. Like, they knew that, like, if anyone can make this happen at a small budget, it's going to be Zack Snyder.

So he did two test screenings where he did a. An arrow scene and a battle scene and submitted it. And they said, okay, we'll give you $65 million if the whole movie is this.

Seth:

You know, now that I think about it, that's actually not a terrible budget for what they were doing because each Lord of the Rings movie was made for 94 million, like under 100 million. And they're way more practical effects practical like, like things driven than this one was.

So actually, now that I think about it, that's not a terrible budget for a movie like this because Robert Rodriguez has proven to us that you can make really good quality digital green screen movies for very little money.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

So, yeah, 65. Now they think about it for what they did. Comparing it to like, we'll say Fellowship of the Ring. Like. Yeah. It's actually not.

Not that crazy of a difference in budget.

James:

How much did they spend on Snow white?

Seth:

Yeah. Like 200 million.

Kyle:

Oh my gosh. And it made.

James:

And Wonder Woman can't sing, so.

Seth:

Ye. I think it barely cracked 100 million.

Kyle:

Oh my gosh. And that's global.

Seth:

Yeah, global.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

They. It's to the point that they have now halted production on all the rest of the live action remakes that they were gonna make because they.

They're just like, we can't keep doing this.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

I love that meme. That's just like we owe. We owe Rachel Ziegler a debt of gratitude. Yeah. Yeah.

James:

We're gonna have to actually come up with original ideas. What concept?

Seth:

What?

Kyle:

I know, right? Oh, my gosh.

Seth:

Who knew?

Kyle:

Maybe you're outnumbered 300 to whatever. How many are there? Like a million Went the Persian army like a mill. Over a million strong. Yeah.

Seth:

That was the. The legend.

Kyle:

Maybe you're outnumbered big time because you.

Seth:

Don'T want to watch sexy men.

Kyle:

Yeah. Share Movie Wars. If you would have shared Movie wars. You wouldn't be in this situation.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Xerxes was shaved to the T, by the way. Robert, the guy that played him, he had to shave his entire body.

James:

It was that queen.

Kyle:

Yeah, I know. Glistening. If you want to glisten like Xerxes, share Movie Wars. Thank you.

Seth:

And probably buy some body oil.

James:

I've seen Go Go boys like him.

Seth:

I do love the fact that the Xerxes that we see in this movie is technically supposed to be the Xerxes in the story of Esther from the Bible.

Kyle:

Oh, really?

Seth:

Is that where he got the inspiration? Cuz. Well, no, that is historically the same dude.

Kyle:

Okay.

Seth:

Because that was when the Persians had taken over Israel right after K. Darius, which is when the whole, the whole story of Daniel and the lion's den happened. Oh, so then the next king is Xerxes.

So just historically in the timeline, this is the same dude who did the whole Esther story where she basically, like, seduced him to save Israel.

Kyle:

Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

Seth:

Yeah, same dude. Just, just next time you read that Bible story, y' all put this visual of Xerxes.

James:

I don't think any woman was seducing Xerxes.

Kyle:

Yeah. I mean, I will get to it later in the categories, but my favorite character design is Xerxes.

Seth:

Absolutely. 100. It was that moment where everyone's carrying his litter and there's like 50 people carrying that gigantic litter.

And he just steps down the stairs. And then the three or like the six guys, like, kneel so he can step on their backs. What a moment.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

Have you ever stepped on a man's back?

Seth:

Yes.

James:

Oh, we're working as.

Seth:

We'll leave it there. But yes.

James:

That summer in the Chinese massage parlor.

Kyle:

Absolutely.

Seth:

I got quite the education that summer.

Kyle:

Yeah. Yeah. And, and if you're, if you're a Spartan, I'm just put. I literally. This is what went through my mind.

If I was lying, Leonidas, I would be like, who's this jerk off? It's like with this, this silver mantle and the piercings. Like, what is this? What is going on?

Seth:

I do love the height difference difference between Gerard Butler and that at Xerxes. Like, he just looks like this seven and a half foot tall giant. And Gerard Butler is just like five, five, like Tom Cruise height. Just like.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

What's up?

James:

Isn't there like a professional sports team called the Spartans of some sort?

Seth:

I think so.

Kyle:

Michigan State College.

Seth:

Okay. So college. Yeah.

Kyle:

And I'm sure there's been like, XFL teams, you know, like minor League.

Seth:

Well, I mean, there's also Sparta, Tennessee. There's Sparta, South Carolina, like, or Spartanburg, like. Yeah, there's lots of cities in the US that are named after the Spartans.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

Because there was.

Seth:

Who.

James:

What's the football thing in college? If you win, there's, like, a college thing.

Seth:

The trophy.

James:

Yeah.

Seth:

I don't know. You would know.

Kyle:

Oh, I don't. I only watch the NFL.

Seth:

Oh.

Kyle:

I don't care about college.

James:

I got in trouble because I said their helmets look like weed.

Seth:

Love it.

James:

And all these people came for me, like, no, it's something else. I'm like, how do I know? Just look like weed.

Seth:

It's a palm tree.

Kyle:

The questions, the questions. So is Theron really just walking into this council meeting with the Xerxes coins in his. In his girdle?

Seth:

Clearly, he's not the smartest motherfucker.

Kyle:

What is happening?

Seth:

Let's. Can we just talk about, first off, how he looks like a really skinny Mark Wahlberg?

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

Like, the whole time I'm watching this, I'm just imagining him with a Boston accent just being like, this will not be fast. Okay. This. You're not my queen. Like, just in a weird Boston accent, like, fuck, yeah.

Kyle:

Well, that might be Dominic, because Dominic west was in the Wire, so you might be thinking Baltimore to the ball. I've never seen the Wire, so he's the. He's incredible.

Seth:

Nice.

Kyle:

I mean, that's kind of what people. Mostly people associate him with.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

But, yeah, I actually thought he did really well in this role, but.

Seth:

Oh, 100.

Kyle:

I saw those coins hit the ground. I'm like, what?

Seth:

Yeah, I mean, it's. It's. Remember, at this point, they're telling the story as if it's mythology. It's a legend. It's David Windham telling it.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

A year later, like, he's trying to build the suspense. Who knows? It probably didn't happen like that.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

But it's a cool image.

Kyle:

What do you think, James? Are you gonna carry your Xerxes coins in the council meeting?

James:

No, I would have brought a different purse.

Seth:

Yeah. Yeah. Worn a different girdle.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

Someone's bribing me. I'm gonna put that in a different purse.

Kyle:

Are we just supposed to assume they were, like, under his balls? Like, where. Where were they on his.

Seth:

Where else would you keep it? I don't know.

Kyle:

I've never worn anything.

James:

You just had, like, a little pouch. It was like a little hobble, you know? And you put a little thing, like a little square and put it in there.

And then you tie it off and usually had a little belt.

Kyle:

Yeah. For my betrayal coins.

Seth:

Yeah. Wrap it around your dick and balls. Like, it's a good thing to keep you going till later that night.

Kyle:

I need a pretty small thread. I don't know if they made small enough threads.

Seth:

That scene. I do really enjoy that scene, though, where.

Because Lena Headey gives a great speech during that moment, and then after he does his whole betrayal, and then she just stabs the motherfucker and says his right back to him. Like, that scene is so well done. She. I mean, both of them do such a really good job.

James:

That scene got her Game of Thrones.

Seth:

Yeah. Absolutely.

Kyle:

Her second appearance on this pod. Because she did dread, too.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And she was amazing in dress.

Seth:

She was so good.

Kyle:

And a totally different.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

You can't even recognize her. Like, I actually had to see the credits.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Because I. Because I didn't watch Game of Thrones. I mostly just know her with scars all over her face.

James:

We need a Game of Thrones.

Kyle:

I did. I just.

James:

I'm leaving, James.

Kyle:

I just got into dragons. It took me playing Witcher 3.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And. But I. I am opening up. I just started, like, I'm opening myself to fantasy.

James:

So you've played Witcher for how long?

Kyle:

112 hours.

Seth:

And he's barely gotten through the prologue.

Kyle:

Yeah, it hooked me. It hooked me. That was my first foray into fantasy. No, I do plan to watch it at some point, but it's a commit. I do.

And the thing is, is we joke all the time. We do so many movies that, like, it takes me eight months to finish a show.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I just finished Righteous Gemstones in eight months.

James:

Skip the last season.

Kyle:

That's what I've heard.

Seth:

Yeah. Yeah, I enjoyed it, but so dark. Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

Visually.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

eventually do need to do the:

But seeing all of them back in the early 90s, like, it's so cool.

Kyle:

I can't believe Lena's been around that long.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

It's just crazy.

Seth:

I think she was, like, late teens, early 20s during that one.

Kyle:

So doesn't it feel like the Spartans would be regular guests on the Joe Rogan podcast?

Seth:

Oh, yeah.

James:

They'd be in the front row of Kill Tony.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

These guys.

Seth:

These Tough ass Joe would just be up there like, so I hear you throw the babies off the cliff. Like, tell me about that process. Like.

Like what's going through your mind when you're looking at a baby and trying to figure out if it's going to grow up to be a good man or not? Yeah. What do you feed them? Do you feed them elk? I like elk.

Kyle:

Dude. Yeah, I got a Traeger. I use a Traeger.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Product placement. I mean, what you think? You say, you think front row kill Tony, like definitely.

James:

Oh, yeah, definitely. WWE fans. Oh, 100% totally at kill Tony.

Kyle:

Yeah. What is our equivalent to this today? I mean, we're so. I mean, things of the liver king. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Stunning your balls.

Seth:

Yeah. Yeah.

Kyle:

What is it? What is it? Your perineum? Is that what they say? Stunning your parium.

Seth:

Sunning your.

James:

I have heard about stunning your. I'm like, yeah, where do you have to live that you feel comfortable to.

Seth:

Have your out somewhere with a very high fence.

James:

I hate to think what my HOA was saying.

Seth:

Yeah, that'd be a crazy letter to.

James:

Get like Mr. Holiday together. We can see your asshole.

Seth:

Yeah, but they're trying to use any word but asshole.

James:

Your waxer missed a spot.

Kyle:

Your sphincter. Your sphincter is. Your weeds are too tall and your sphincter is out.

James:

Check that left knot.

Seth:

It looks sketchy. We see a mole on your dick and you might want to get that checked out too.

James:

It's not a molecule.

Kyle:

The funny thing about this is that I was in some of the research. I did the Comic Cons around this time.

Like, people were so ecstatic about this that even people that weren't jacked, like over, like overweight people were going to these Comic Con.

Seth:

Oh, yeah. It was a whole phenomenon.

Kyle:

Yeah, people were so. It's like they weren't even jacked, but they were wearing the spartan outfit.

Seth:

Yeah, it gave. It gave men confidence for like six months.

Kyle:

Yeah, I could do that.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Between being a. A customer service representative for.

James:

For Costco's call center and tons of guys had spray tanned abs for Halloween that year.

Seth:

Oh, yeah.

Kyle:

There's also a procedure now, Right. They talk about it like there's a celebrity recently that got accused of it. Oh, no. Oscar De La Hoya. Because, you know, he's a retired boxer.

People say he gets the ab chiseling or whatever where they. They make the skin look deeper.

James:

Yeah, there's laser. There's lasers that do that. I had a doctor who was trying to perfect that one time during COVID and we went to Knoxville, and she burned me.

Seth:

Oh, my God.

James:

I'm like, it's hot. Well, it's supposed to be hot. Not this hot. Damn it.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

Years ago, Rhett and Link tested a product that was. You would lay it on your stomach and go tan, and then when you took it off, you had abs.

Kyle:

Wow.

Seth:

Because of the tan lines.

Kyle:

Oh, my gosh. I would need a really strong laser to get through it.

Seth:

It did not work.

Kyle:

I'm like a ring tree.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

You know, I need a lumberjack laser.

James:

There are a few country art. I have some friends who are makeup artists. There are a few country artists that show their abs that they are makeup and hands.

Seth:

Oh, really?

James:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Oh, I want to guess who they are. Let's guess all of them. Screw this movie. Morgan Wallen.

Seth:

I can tell you it's not Tim McGraw. I have met the dude, and he is fucking rich.

Kyle:

Yes. Wife. Both.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Jacked.

Seth:

Yeah. It's kind of nuts. He is a tiny man, but he is.

Kyle:

Is he?

Seth:

Oh, my God. He's probably, like, 5, 7.

Kyle:

Kenny Chesney's a tiny man.

Seth:

Yeah. A lot of those people on stage are really short.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

Very tiny.

Seth:

Yeah. But, yeah, he is absolutely jacked. Like, it was kind of crazy to see in person, wide open spaces.

Kyle:

That's like.

James:

That's the Dixie chick.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

Sorry, the chicks.

Kyle:

That's as much country as I can.

James:

If it's not your resident music.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

The number of times I hear that song downtown, it is awful.

James:

You go downtown?

Seth:

I work downtown.

James:

Oh, shit.

Seth:

I run sound on Broadway, so I have to semi pay attention to every song that's played to make sure that nothing's going wrong. Oh, God, it's horrible. Yeah.

James:

Now I'm dying to know where on.

Kyle:

Broadway he's going every day.

Seth:

I off the podcast. I don't want these fuckers finding me stalkers. Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

No, I literally said something online about liking melba toast. Someone who figured out my neighborhood brought a box of melba toast and put it in my mailbox.

Seth:

Oh, my God.

James:

I found you some.

Kyle:

And you didn't move.

Seth:

Nuts.

Kyle:

And you didn't move. I would have moved.

James:

Yeah, no, I love free stuff.

Kyle:

Free stuff. Stalker. I'll take the chance.

Seth:

That's why you just set up a P.O. box and, like, encourage people to mail you shit.

James:

I got a Glock on every room.

Seth:

Ah, fair.

James:

You want to break in my house?

Seth:

Welcome to Tennessee, where the gays have guns. And it's a great thing There's a.

James:

Gun in my door bag at all times.

Seth:

Love it.

James:

And it's around a switchblade.

Kyle:

Oh, I love it.

James:

Yeah, I played.

Seth:

I think you've just become my favorite person ever.

James:

I play dark bars in East Nashville late at night.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

You know, you're stumbling through the alleyways trying to get your car.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Especially in this damn town now.

James:

Yeah.

Seth:

Trying to get from the dive motel to your car. It's. It's. It's treacherous.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

I'm not a violent person. I don't start fights by end them.

Seth:

I feel that.

James:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Hell, yeah.

James:

Plus, I'm old. I'm too old to scrap anymore.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah. You just want to end it one shot.

James:

Yeah.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

Back the up.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

I'm just gonna shoot taser to the balls and then guns ready if you need it.

Kyle:

Hell yeah. Like a spartan wood.

James:

There you go.

Kyle:

Rando.

Seth:

Randos.

Kyle:

Gerard Butler. So he. Yeah, he follows us. He follows the podcast.

Seth:

He does.

Kyle:

Shut up.

Seth:

You should come on the podcast, sir.

Kyle:

I did. I sent him a message.

Seth:

Please come to Nashville.

Kyle:

You've liked a few things.

Seth:

Yes.

Kyle:

You want to come on board?

James:

VIP seating at my next show, Gerard.

Seth:

Yes.

James:

As long as I have a face, you always have a place to sit.

Kyle:

But he does have a gun, Gerard. So don't. Don't fuck around.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

Or do.

Kyle:

Okay, maybe fuck around a little. Just clock in every room. Just you. You have good judgment.

James:

Fuck around and find out. And you might like what you find.

Kyle:

Yes, I love it. But he actually butchered his audition, and he did a horrible job.

But the way he won it is he called Warner Brothers chairman at the time, Alan Horn, and he prepared this passionate speech.

And I guess I don't know if he voiced it in Leonidas's voice or what, but he basically just by calling him and, like, doing this passionate speech is how he landed the job, because he did a horrible audition, according to him.

Seth:

I feel like all he did was just call the guy and he's like, hello. And he just hears this as we die in hell. And then that was it. He's like, all right, fine.

James:

You've got British Scottish Scott. Oh, okay, Close enough.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah. He's.

James:

Ooh, the kilt fantasy.

Seth:

Oh, yeah.

Kyle:

Want to do Braveheart next?

James:

Well, that'd be hot. I went to Scotland once, and we pissed off the entire country because we were only there for 72 hours.

And they were like, what brings you to our lovely country? The castles, the history, the blah, blah, blah, blah. We're here to see Kali Minogue. Your food is terrible. Your food is terrible.

There's not like a VIP entrance to the castle. We're like 175,000 steps to go. Like.

Kyle:

Nah.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

So let's go by leather kilt.

Seth:

Nice.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

Kylie and have fun.

Kyle:

You're gonna go back anytime soon?

James:

Oh, God, no.

Kyle:

Go wreck the place.

James:

It was cold and wet.

Seth:

Yeah. And that's. That's all year round. I've been to Edinburgh. It is very gloomily beautiful. But, yeah, it is very dark and very rainy.

People routinely go golfing in sideways rain out there.

Kyle:

There are thick Scottish accents that you just cannot. Even though they're technically. Like, they share similar words with us. Oh, yeah. It's like. I still don't know what you're saying.

Seth:

Yeah, I mean, that's how they feel about, like hardcore Southerners. Like people from East Tennessee, they're just.

Kyle:

You said you're from Scotland.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Holy man.

Seth:

Or from South Georgia. Wherever. You kind of rumbled together and you're probably drunk, but I don't think I am. I had 17 beers.

Kyle:

Hey, you want a Natty Light?

Seth:

With the amount of scotch they drink over there? They're all hammered, so they probably have very clear accents when they're sober. But none of them are sober.

Kyle:

Yes.

James:

I do enjoy their whiskey, though.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

Oh, yeah.

Kyle:

I know. I miss drinking so much.

James:

Are you sober?

Kyle:

I am as December. But let me tell you about the coffee and the cigar life, man. Let me tell you, it's a good time.

James:

I used to love cigars. We sit on the back porch smoking cigars.

Kyle:

Let's have one sometime.

James:

That'd be fun. I'm always down to smoke something.

Kyle:

I would love it.

Seth:

Hell, yeah.

Kyle:

I don't know if you noticed this, because I know that you're a little more of a Snyder. Well, a little more of a Snyder fan that I am. I'm not a Snyder fan.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Seven year old Leonidas, played by Eli Snyder.

Seth:

Oh, that's cool.

Kyle:

His son at the time. And then I guess the Uber immortal as he's named in the cast.

The enormous warrior on the Persian side was Robert Malay, who is a professional wrestler. I didn't know that, but yeah.

Seth:

Oh, nice.

Kyle:

That's one for our Spandex.

James:

Is that his wrestling name?

Kyle:

Yeah. I wonder what his wrestling name is. Robert. Myla. Maybe he's the Filet. My Way. The Follet.

Seth:

I was just watching Psych. And the Miz was on it. And he was credited in the opening credits as WWE Superstar the Miz.

Kyle:

This one kind of weirded me. Not weirded me out. But this kind of took me off guard because it's all such a set.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

You know, for example, like every time there's a rock, like they're standing on a rock, it's the same rock. They just turned it. Like there's four scenes with this giant rock. Like the one with the hunchback.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Like they would just turn it.

Seth:

Oh, yeah.

James:

Like leftover from their Star Trek, the original series.

Seth:

Yeah. Yeah.

Kyle:

Literally there's a rando for that. Like all the stuff on this set because of the limited budget is mostly leftovers from other epic films.

Seth:

Yeah.

No, I'm not surprised because like Lord of the Rings, they were very much talk about how with Minas Tirith in Return of the King, they only had so much room to build the set that it was built in a way that they could reposition the set pieces so they could set up another part of the city.

Kyle:

Yep.

Seth:

But it was all just the same stuff. I mean, when. When. And granted at the time. Yeah. Like making a movie like 300 for 65 million is a very small budget. It. It. Yeah, it makes sense.

They're going to reuse it as much as they can and make it look different, but it's still going to feel the same because it's the same area of the world.

Kyle:

Yeah. So they. They were leftovers from. So for the. We'll just go to that rando now. So for the Spartan shield, spears and swords, they made some of them.

Some of them. But a lot of them were recycled from Troy Alexander, I thought those look familiar.

Seth:

Yeah, that makes sense.

Kyle:

Achilles man. Brad Pitt.

Seth:

And when did Troy come out?

James:

Brad Pitt and that blonde hair.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

Was Troy:

Kyle:

Let's see. I think so, because that.

Seth:

I guess that would make sense because they would have shot it right after that.

Kyle:

2004.

Seth:

2004. Okay.

James:

I don't remember a thing about that movie, but I remember what shade of blonde Brad Pitt's hair.

Kyle:

Yes.

Seth:

And the one fight outside the city walls. Like, that's it.

Kyle:

I just remember he had to quit smoking. That's when he had to like, force himself because he was a heavy smoker before then and apparently like, to get in that shape.

And he's in shape in a lot of movies, but to get in that shape, he had to like, really cut down.

Seth:

Absolutely.

Kyle:

Yeah. Don't we all?

Seth:

But yeah, that's kind of cool. Like, especially, I mean, when. Yeah. When you're dealing with someone like Warner Brothers, they've.

They whatever they still have just locked away in whatever warehouses they've got. Yeah, I'm sure they would be like, you want to save money? Cool. Go. Go have at it. Go raid the storerooms. Let's see what we got. Yeah.

I mean, yeah, you gotta. You gotta do what you gotta do to save money.

Kyle:

Especially today. Yeah. Yeah. How do you, like, emulate la?

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

We borrowed a building from.

Seth:

Because we had GTA developers come in and just make it all digitally.

Kyle:

Because we're filming in Amsterdam.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Because we can't afford LA anymore. It's cheaper to fly to Amsterdam and film anyway. Gerard Butler also later recalled, he said every.

To quote Gerard Butler, every day somebody was getting taken to the hospital.

Seth:

Yeah. He said, not surprising.

Kyle:

Yep. Finished quote. He said, you turn around, there's guys down everywhere. A spear went in his eye. Another time, fell, broke his ankle. It was insane.

Apparently, Gerard Butler himself pulled an arm, tended, ended up with foot drop, which is actually what you get, like, when you're a linebacker and you tear your acl. Like, you get a foot drop. Oh. But he got that from doing this movie, which is funny.

And the reason this shocked me is because I know they're doing stuff, but it's not. It's a set.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

So it's like. Is it like, how did they get hurt? Is it because they're too close together?

Seth:

Stunts. Yeah, they're. They're. They are the stunt team. Like, here's the fun thing. I miss the days of when, like, no one gave a.

And people would just get injured on movies and be like, I'm good. Just take me old. We'll come back tomorrow.

Like, the number of injuries that happened during Lord of the Rings, the number of injuries that happened during any action movie back then. Like, it's absurd when you think about it and hear about it. Because it wouldn't happen today. Like, they'd be like, no, no, no. We'll just animate it.

James:

Most of the fight scenes were in slow motion.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

So, like.

Seth:

But it's not. They're not moving in slow motion.

Kyle:

Oh.

James:

So they film them in regular motion.

Seth:

And so. Yeah. What. The way that. That works is the camera that we have over here can go up to, I think, 120 frames a second.

So then you slow that down to 24 frames, and it makes it look like it's shot, like, really slow.

James:

Wow.

Kyle:

Which we're gonna do for the coffee just had. We're gonna. Like there. It's gonna be.

James:

Okay. Cool. Yeah.

Seth:

It's gonna be great. Yeah.

Kyle:

It's gonna be your greatest moment.

Seth:

Absolutely.

Kyle:

It's Gonna be your new promo for years.

James:

There's a lot. There's a lot of lows in my life.

Kyle:

We're just here to continually lower that. That barrel in the bucket moment for you. Yeah. Bottom of the barrel, barrel, bucket. What the fuck?

Seth:

Do you know if this was shot digitally or on film?

Kyle:

That I don't know, because I'm pretty.

Seth:

Sure it was digital, which. Well, I mean, you could still do the slow motion with film.

The reason I asked though, is because it would have been wildly expensive to do that much slow mo on film.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

Because you can get like 3 minutes ish of footage at regular speed. But if you go slow mo, you're probably dropping that to like 30 seconds per reel. So it would be insanely expensive.

So if this was done digitally, that would make so much more sense as to why they could really utilize that slow motion.

James:

The fact that you can do that math in your head is astounding.

Seth:

I. It's just stuff I studied in college. Like, I just have the numbers.

James:

Oh, so you studied film?

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

Oh, okay.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Very cool, huh? Yeah.

Seth:

Yeah. I'm not just a dumb comedian. I have a degree.

Kyle:

Don't we all?

James:

I graduated.

Kyle:

He was a teacher, for crying out loud.

James:

Yeah, I have two master degrees, damn it.

Kyle:

Really?

James:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And what?

James:

One's an in vocal music education and one's at administration.

Kyle:

He's an onion. When you peel him, he just gets better and better.

James:

I can sing about it and then tell you what to do.

Kyle:

I love it. And then put a Glock in every room.

James:

Yeah, yeah. They're like, we want to arm the teachers when we're too late.

Kyle:

Bitch, we've been armed.

Seth:

Wait, we weren't supposed to carry guns in school. What?

James:

I wrestled a 300 pound crackhead at my school.

Kyle:

Oh, my gosh.

Seth:

Amazing.

Kyle:

Those are the most horrifying videos I see lately. Like, and that's, that's why I hate social media. Because they're like, you think you're like doing movie research for the pod.

And then it's like, here's a student. Student attacking a helpless teacher. It's like, why did I see that? But they're everywhere. You see these.

James:

Like, that's why I taught elementary school. If you're taller than me, I'm not teaching you.

Seth:

Yeah, fair.

Kyle:

Yeah. I want to kick you.

Seth:

He's a tall man, he's not a short man.

Kyle:

How tall are you?

James:

Six. Two.

Seth:

Yeah, okay.

Kyle:

Yeah, tall man. Also, I kind of alluded to this earlier, but the. You want to know how they got shredded? Apparently the trainer.

Seth:

Steroids, definitely.

Kyle:

Some chiseling, some paint chisel. Yeah, some laser chisel. But trainer Mark Twight. I guess his gym is called Jim Jones, but it's G. Yeah, Jim Jones. Oh my gosh. Get out of here.

James:

Give you a great workout. Just don't drink the punch after.

Kyle:

Yeah, he gave him a cult like regimen and that's how he described it. And he said, he said, I took them from flabby actors to Sinewi army.

And he said anybody who showed up soft or had a cheat meal got smashed in quotations. I don't know what that means, but I do remember we talked about this.

James:

Cultural touchstone when two men feel really close to one another.

Kyle:

Oh, yes.

James:

Yeah, you're. Yeah, you. Yeah. If you get McDonald's, you're the pass around party bottom.

Kyle:

Oh, yeah.

James:

We'll teach you to get that. Big Mac.

Kyle:

Special sauce coming your way.

Seth:

You're gonna eat a Big Mac. Here's Big Mac. He's gonna. He's gonna take care of you.

Kyle:

Thousand Island. How do they name that, by the way? Thousand Island.

Seth:

Who knows?

Kyle:

I mean, there are a thousand islands out there just clamoring for maybe.

Seth:

Maybe they named it after Indonesia.

Kyle:

Yeah, one of my.

James:

That's my dad's favorite salad dress.

Kyle:

Really?

James:

Every restaurant took it. Do y' all have Thousand Island?

Seth:

They're like, no, but we could put some ketchup and mayo together. We'll make you some.

Kyle:

We have four island.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Basically it's from four different condiments. We just put salt and pepper on it.

James:

Signs are tough. Stocks are down.

Kyle:

Tariff songs. Thousand Island. Of all thousand islands, the tariffs. But anyway, he said it was a cult like regimen.

And you know, this is another part of how this was a touchdown. I remember like Men's Health magazine had the Spartan workout. I tried to do it.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

People make fun of me because, you know, everyone's like lifting weights and I'm like, yeah, you know, doing that.

James:

Before gay porn, we had Men's Health.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Oh, my God.

James:

And really before Instagram, all they were a huge amount of like men's workout magazines.

Kyle:

Oh, yeah. Yes.

James:

Every, like every. You go to the grocery store and there's like 15 different men's magazines working out.

Kyle:

And because it was before social media, like, I don't know if you agree, but like, it felt like. It felt like we just didn't have the skepticism to think it was a scam. Like I just said, well, this is the workout this guy does.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I'm like, that's How I get jacked and then you find out later. Like, the hydroxy cut scam. You know, the hydroxy cut lawsuit?

Seth:

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Kyle:

They're all. Well, that was the big thing back then, right?

James:

Most of the models were porn stars.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

I'm like, I've seen him before, but.

Kyle:

Busters 3 dan does Dallas.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

So many unanswered questions.

Seth:

Yeah. Wasn't this the same guy that trained Henry Cavill for Man of Steel?

Kyle:

I don't think so, because the wife of that person follows us and apparently commented on one of our things. I don't know, but it's not this dude.

Seth:

Maybe it is, because I thought Zack Snyder in the. In one of his interviews that I saw said that it was the same.

Kyle:

Could be. Could be. I mean. I mean. I mean, he did a great job here. I mean, these guys are.

Even though, like, there's like, five real ones and then 295cgi cut and paste ones.

James:

So Henry Cavill's wife follows you guys?

Kyle:

Yeah. Oh, no, no. The. The wife of the trainer who trained Henry Cavill.

James:

Okay, sorry.

Kyle:

That's less cool.

James:

Yeah.

Kyle:

But Gerard Butler follows us. Pretend like you didn't hear that the first time. Wonder Splendor.

James:

I'd kneel before him.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah. Xerxes wouldn't. And then lastly, yeah. Rodrigo Santoro, who played Xerxes, had to shave his entire body to do this.

Seth:

Yeah, that makes sense.

Kyle:

Maybe that's not a rando, but I just thought that was funny.

Seth:

Jared Leto did the same thing for Dallas Buyers Club. Like, he was very worried his eyebrows weren't going to grow back because they had. He had to wax him, I think, three times. And he was like.

After the third day, we're like, I don't know. I don't know if they're coming back.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

How much hair do you think Jared Leto has?

Seth:

Not much. Not much.

James:

He's probably like a hairless cat.

Seth:

He's. I know this because I love 30 Seconds to Mars, and he's shirtless in quite a few of their music videos, but he's got.

He's got the underarm hair, but he's pretty. Pretty baby smooth.

James:

How long have you been studying the torso of Jared Leto?

Seth:

Since I was 15.

Kyle:

This is Jared Leto, his biggest fan.

Seth:

I have that and a tattoo on my chest from the band. I'm seeing them in August. Can't wait.

Kyle:

He's got a Requiem for a Dream vinyl right over there.

Seth:

I do, in all 6:30 seconds to Mars vinyls.

Kyle:

This is Jared Leto's Wait a minute.

James:

They have six albums?

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

Wow.

Seth:

Yeah. Since:

Kyle:

Wow. They still haven't gotten to Mars?

Seth:

Yeah. They're still 30 seconds away.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

Come on, Elon, help them out.

Kyle:

Shall we build a death wall?

Seth:

Let's do it.

Kyle:

Shall we march?

Seth:

Yeah. Let's use the blood of our enemies as mortar.

Kyle:

Yes. Let's war. James, this is how it works. We got seven categories. The first five are kind of standard cast filmmaking.

The last two are what we call like bro categories where you're making up. They're like either to be funny for the film or they align with the film. Yes. If you dig it, if you like it. Affirmative. Sparta.

You don't have to scream it, but maybe just once, go Sparta. You know, just so they know. And if you didn't dig it, if you didn't like it. Neil. Sweet For Xerxes. Our boy Xerxes, our shaven hero.

Seth:

I like it.

Kyle:

Our seven foot.

Seth:

I'm a little surprised you didn't do Snyder. Barely know her.

Kyle:

Actually, the last category, because we're gonna. We're gonna rank this in the Snyder echelon because we've covered so much damn Snyder. Against my behest or to my behest or is it against my behest?

James:

It's teacher against.

Kyle:

Yeah, against my behest. Behest.

Seth:

But I mean, we did one Snyder series and one Snyder movie. Like, it's two properties.

Kyle:

I know, but. But Snyder. Snyder has an interesting. You have to admit you. When you look at it as a whole, it's bumpy because of all the. The director's cuts.

Like, I think it warrants us stacking.

Seth:

I don't think that's his fault.

Kyle:

I don't know. Yeah, yeah, we'll talk about it in the category. But yeah. Neil. So that's. Yep. That's funny. The last category. So Snyder. Barely know her. It's.

It's five year old movie war joke. Anytime a word ends in an R, it's a barely knower.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

You know, so James Spader, barely Nowhere. Okay. It's child.

James:

James spader in the 80s. Honey.

Kyle:

Dude. Dude.

James:

Less than zero.

Seth:

Oh, Stargate.

Kyle:

It's one of my favorite books of all time.

James:

Oh yeah.

Kyle:

Maybe a top five book for me.

James:

Thought you said this was cool.

Kyle:

Although the movie is nothing like the book.

James:

No, I. I've seen the movie like 15 times.

Seth:

Times.

Kyle:

The book is tragic. Yeah, from the same. Go ahead.

James:

It just makes you want to do less drugs.

Kyle:

Yeah, it's from the same author. It's American Psycho. His first book. He was 17 when he wrote it.

Seth:

Damn.

James:

Yeah, there's stories to be told there.

Kyle:

Yeah, it's. It's not very long. You should read if you want to pick me up. Right.

James:

LA in the 80s, honey.

Kyle:

That's why I love Brad Easton Ellis. I'm reading Glamorama right now, man. It's just good. Yeah. All right, Top bill, cast. And for us today, that's Gerard Butler.

That is Lena Heady, and that is David Windman.

Seth:

I mean, all three of them. Absolutely love them. We got David Winham from. From Lord of the Rings. That's where he got his big start.

Probably wouldn't have gotten this had he not been Faramir and Lord of the Rings. Lena Heady done some stuff, but this was really her breakout role. Like, this really is what put her on the map for people. Obviously, Gerard Butler.

Now, do you. What. Did. Did he do anything of note before this? Like, anything that big?

I know he's been acting for a while, but I feel like he hadn't really carried a movie like this.

Kyle:

Let's see, he did Beowulf and Grendel, but a lot.

Seth:

A lot of CG.1.

Kyle:

Yeah, I think so.

Seth:

Okay.

Kyle:

The Game of Their Lives. The. Oh, the Phantom of the Opera. He was the fan.

Seth:

That's what it was. So that was his breakout role.

Kyle:

That was his big.

Seth:

This really solidified him as a household name. I feel like. Like, this is what made, like, put him on superstar life levels.

Kyle:

Dracula:

Seth:

I still haven't seen it.

Kyle:

It's not that good.

James:

It's a five out of ten.

Seth:

Okay.

James:

I've seen all the Dracula movies, but.

Seth:

Yeah, obviously, Sparta, like, everybody did their job. Everybody, like, committed to the characters.

I like that they didn't try to make everyone change their accents because as this is just kind of a retelling of a story, like, I think it's cool that everybody just kept their natural voice. So, yeah, I give it a Sparta. Absolutely. Great.

James:

We'll give it a Sparta.

Kyle:

Give us part of why. What do you like about it?

James:

I mean, you got the chick from Game of Thrones. I like her. And Gerard. I mean, Gerard's abs. Sparta, baby.

Kyle:

Yes.

Seth:

I mean, and that. And that. That full wide shot of his ass in the moonlight.

James:

Yeah, we're there for that. That whole.

Seth:

Yeah, great moments.

James:

He was a tender lover. Yeah, but you don't expect it from that kind of guy.

Seth:

But no.

James:

Yeah, it's always a lovely surprise.

Seth:

Yeah. You Never expected from Scott's in general, so.

James:

Well, there was one.

Kyle:

I do. This is a squeak over for me. So Seth has a squeak over system where if he doesn't want to go full and goes, it's a squeak over.

I've adopted the squeak over system.

Seth:

It's a good system.

Kyle:

It's a good system. There's no mathematical like reality on this.

Seth:

5.1. 4.9.

Kyle:

Yeah. 79 out of. Okay. But yeah, I just squeak over because I think everyone does a great job.

I do think, and I think the story calls for it, but there's just no dynamic. You know what I mean? And I don't think they were asked to do dynamic, but everyone, like every single actor is just very static.

And I think it's good and it's subservient. But I do think one of the flaws of this movie is I just like. Just to Skoch more like, because there is. There is an emotional element.

Seth:

Yes.

Kyle:

The Spartans were. They were warriors. They were born warriors. Like, that's very real to the culture if you read about it.

But I do feel like there was like, where is like, someone going to show a little more emotional, like, emotion than stoicism?

Seth:

Sure.

But at the same time, if you look at like, like compare this with Gladiator, because I feel like at the time that was probably the most apt comparison you could make. Same thing could be said for Russell Crowe. Like, he had two moods. He had stoic and he had angry, and he hit both of those beautifully.

And that's what the character called for.

And I think with the history of the Spartans, especially comparing them to the Athenian Greeks, who, as they say in the movie, they're the boy lovers, they're the artists, they're the poets, they're the philosophers. Like, comparing them being like emotion is. Is the enemy of being a good warrior. I think it kind of called for it with that type of character.

Kyle:

And I think. Yeah, that's a. That's a good point. And I think what's interesting too, like, I like the scene with. With the queen when he rapes her for the power.

But I read that, like, and the special features they have. Historians talk about it. That was the thing. Like, I guess the women were very strong in Sparta and they use sex as a political tool.

Seth:

Oh, absolutely.

Kyle:

Like, that's actually was very common.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

Even should.

Kyle:

Yeah, it was shocking to see because I hate it. I was like, he's raping her. And then it's like, actually that was very common. They would wield sex as A way to convince politicians to do things.

Seth:

There's a reason Cleopatra was able to get both Antony and Caesar. Like, yeah, it was. It was like. That was. That was one way they could use their power. And men at the time, I mean, even today, like.

Like, they'll just fall for it. They'll be like, all right, cool. Yeah, the me, I guess. I guess she likes me.

James:

Stormy Daniels.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

Hell, yeah.

Kyle:

Does Trump drop the Xerxes coin right in the city council meeting? Or is he. Or does he send it through his pen man, you know?

Seth:

No, J.D. vance left it in the couch that he bought.

James:

Oh, God.

Kyle:

One. So two. Two things to note here. I. I do want to say Gerard Butler's intensity, the. My favorite part of this.

I know the abs are great, the muscles, but his facial intensity.

Seth:

Oh, yeah.

Kyle:

Like those slow motion. The. The picturesque moments, like with his jaw wide open.

Seth:

Ah.

Kyle:

You know, Like, I was like, that's convincing.

Seth:

Oh, yeah.

Kyle:

Like, that was like his facial intensity. I actually was surprised because it is a big set or medium sized set, whatever you want to say. But I did admire that.

And then Lena, Heady, like, seeing her in dread and then covering this, like, she has some massive range.

Seth:

Absolutely.

Kyle:

She has some massive range.

James:

Great actress.

Seth:

So maybe you're a little more than a squeak over.

James:

Maybe.

Kyle:

I am.

Seth:

I am just a comfortable over.

Kyle:

I am now in Scotch territory.

Seth:

There we go.

Kyle:

I have graduated from squeak over to skosh. Scotia's like an 87 out of 100.

Seth:

There we go.

Kyle:

So anyway, welcome. Welcome to Movie Wars. It's one to zero. And now we got the supporting cast.

Seth:

Spreadsheet working for you.

Kyle:

It's wonderful. It's wonderful. Three episodes straight with the spreadsheet, so I don't lose count the last couple episodes.

Seth:

What I love is that almost definitely was not on camera when you just did that.

Kyle:

Yeah, I. I was like. We would be halfway through the scorecard, and I'd be like, all right, it's 9 to 12. Here we go. I'm an idiot.

James:

I mean, you know, I don't have.

Kyle:

Two master's degrees and I didn't teach, so. All right, supporting cast, here we go. And I'm excited to talk about this one. Dominic West, Vincent Regan, Michael Fassbender.

Seth:

Yeah, let's forget he shows up in.

Kyle:

This, I think in his first film ever, I think so earlier.

Seth:

You keep talking, I'll look.

James:

Yeah, we kept looking like, who is that cute guy? We know we've seen him before.

Seth:

Oh, yeah.

Kyle:

Going back, it took me a minute.

James:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Maybe he was Doing supporting stuff before then because.

James:

What's his big claim to fame?

Seth:

Magneto.

James:

That. Oh, okay.

Kyle:

And Steve Jobs.

James:

Okay.

Seth:

And I think Magneto is way more famous than his Steve Jobs.

Kyle:

Yeah. That movie didn't. That didn't do a lot. No, he was in a lot of shows. He did. He was on a Sherlock Holmes TV movie. A lot of TV stuff here.

Gunpowder, Treason and Plot.

Seth:

He was in Band of Brothers. I forgot about that.

Kyle:

Yeah. So. So some minor TV stuff. Which. Band of Brothers was still considered tv, so.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

But yeah, anyway, Michael Fassbender, this was.

Seth:

Okay, so this was definitely his first big movie.

James:

It was a launch pad for a lot of people.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

He was in four movies before or no, two movies before that. So. Yeah, this was really his first big budget movie.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

So if you're an up and coming actor, get down to a leather loincloth.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

Build those abs up.

Kyle:

Do it.

James:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Do it.

Seth:

Worth it.

Kyle:

It's great. What do you think? Sporting cast.

Seth:

See, here's the thing. I actually think the supporting cast stood out more than the main cast.

Kyle:

I agree.

Seth:

I love Gerard Butler, I love Lena Headey, but all of the smaller characters. Zack Snyder did such a good job at making sure every character you needed to care about, he gave you the reason to care about them.

Whether it was that father and son relationship or the son's relationship with Michael Fassbender. Like, every single one of them had great moments that never took from anyone else. They were always in their own moment. The.

The guy who played the hunchback Xerxes, like, even down to each, like, mini boss as they were leading up to that final battle scene. Like, everybody had a really unique way to shine through without taking the stage away from anyone else. So for me, it's definitely a Sparta.

Like, I think, like I said, I think everyone. I like the supporting cast even a little more than the main cast.

James:

Yeah, I kind of agree with that.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

Because you could see the Michael Fassbender and that other young guy's son or the guy. So, yeah, they probably did something.

Seth:

Oh, yeah.

James:

There's. There's things going on.

Seth:

I had this great idea for a movie one day to. To make. Remake the story. 300. All the villains and all the women just play everything totally straight, serious.

But all the Spartans are just the gayest. Like, like singing musicals and stuff. Like just such a counterpart to everyone else. Because, I mean, in history, the Spartans were.

Were absolutely some of the gayest men.

Kyle:

That existed, as was every army.

Seth:

Yeah. They would be out away from their Wives, they'd be like, all right, I guess we're each other. Here we go.

James:

I think there's a gay porn parody of 300.

Seth:

Oh, almost definitely 369. Rule 34. If it exists, there's a porn for it, so.

Kyle:

Or you could just make another one exactly like it called 150. Like the eight minute ads. Remember eight minute ads?

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And the way they kept selling it tapes is like, this is six minute ads.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

1999. Three installments for one minute less of abs.

Seth:

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a Sparta for both of us.

Kyle:

Cool. Yeah, I dig it. And I love. I'm a big Dominic west fan because I love the Wire, but it was interesting. See him here. Like, this dude brought it as.

As a theron. Is that how you say? Yeah, Theron really brought it really intense. Even though I hate the fact that he's, you know, doing what he's doing to her.

Even though I guess that's what they did in history. So I'm like, how do I feel about this? But, yeah, I love him. And he showed some major range.

Seth:

Absolutely.

Kyle:

I'm usually listening to him with a Baltimore ACC in the Wire, So, yeah, he does really well in that. But, yeah, I love it. I love the way Rodrigo plays. Or, sorry, Rodrigo Centoro plays Xerxes.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I think. I think they. They wanted him the way Zack Snyder described was, like, powerful but slightly feminine.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

So that he would be a good opposite of the Spartans.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And I think he does that, like 100. Really nails that.

Seth:

Yeah, they're like you said, there's that just hint of effeminate energy with especially his costume design and all the jewelry and everything. But then you hear him speak, and he is just a massive. Like, Just his words. You feel like he's gonna crush you.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

I'm a demanding power bottom.

Kyle:

Yes.

James:

No, you're not doing that right.

Seth:

Okay, Daddy.

James:

To the left.

Kyle:

Oh, man. Imagine care. I wonder how much that thing weighed. The. His pedestal thing.

James:

It's like. His what?

Kyle:

His what? Yeah, his. His nose ring. I wonder.

James:

Yeah, it was long and girthy.

Kyle:

Behold the God.

James:

Yeah, about like that lightsaber over there.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

All right. Writing screenplay by Zack Snyder, Curt Johnstead and Michael B. Gordon, of course.

Frank Miller wrote the graphic novel, created the graphic, and he also illustrated it.

Seth:

Yeah. So this might surprise some people. This one's gonna be a skosh over for me.

Kyle:

Just scotch or a squeak?

Seth:

That's a squeak. It's definitely a squeak. Because here's the thing. I understand it's based on a graphic novel.

And the writing for graphic novels are the simplest form you can get because the emphasis is really put on the visuals. Like the dialogue in a graphic novel is more or less a carrying mechanism for the visuals.

Do I think Zack Snyder did a bang up job translating that to film? Yes. Do I still think it's probably the most simplistic version of this type of script you could do? Absolutely.

So that's why it's a squeak over for me is because I think he faithfully, you know, adapted the actual way that it was written. But I also think, you know, you could have done more to make it less simplistic. You had some really good moments.

Like, I love the moment where David Wenham is narrating his. His helmet was stifling, so he dropped it and his shield was heavy, so he dropped it. Like all of that.

I felt like there were some really cool moments, but otherwise the dialogue itself was just so simple, so bare minimum and. And not in a way with like Mad Max, where I think it helped necessarily so good enough. Not great for me.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah.

James:

It's a definite, Neil.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

It kind of gave the vibe of like a. A talented 8th grader wrote the script.

Seth:

Yeah, yeah. So I get that.

Kyle:

Yeah. I go, Neil. And I. I just, I think even though it's easy to look at something holistically, as in, yes, the Spartans were a warrior culture.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

But they were still humans.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And there's never a moment in this where I'm like, where, where is just one moment of introspection, like, to give me insights into humanity. And I don't get any of that here. I think it's.

Seth:

Oh, I felt like there was plenty of that. But again, I think that comes from the graphic novel.

I don't think that was something that Zack Snyder added because, I mean, everything at the beginning where he's having his conversations with Lena Headey, that's all self reflection and him struggling with. Yeah, I am a king, but I do also have rules I have to follow. Like, what are we going to do?

And so I think it was there, but I could see what you're saying. It's not. Not to the point that it stands out necessarily.

Kyle:

Yeah. There's just. There's no. What's a good word for it? There's. It's so stuck in the machismo that there's no.

There's no moment of like real self reflection to me.

James:

I mean, other than this is Sparta. How many other lines do you remember?

Seth:

Yeah, I mean, I mean, the other big one for me is, is that end one where, where he's, he is kneeling, but it is because he's about to just completely start wiping the guys out.

James:

Right?

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah. And. And again, I, I. And I feel this way about Zack Snyder often, too. Like, we talked about this a lot during the, the Snyder trilogy.

It's just there were moments where their writing felt real high for certain characters, but other characters, it felt like there was like, Wonder Woman sometimes. Like, well, why do you write that? In the last one, he did her so much better. You know, it's like, so just uneven writing. But, you know, it's.

It's one of those things, too, where this movie is. I will give it credit for the fact that it leaned into visuals.

Seth:

Yeah. You know, I don't think the dialogue was the, the most important part of this movie.

Kyle:

Okay.

James:

Blood naps.

Seth:

Yeah. It was the man chiseled abs.

Kyle:

Yes.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

That's why all the gays went to go see it.

Kyle:

Oh, yeah.

James:

Oh, yeah.

Kyle:

Because he's the one that told me about that. Because I never thought about that until he brought it up. I was like, oh, yeah, I guess.

Seth:

I guess. I mean, Zack Snyder himself said, this is absolutely the gayest movie he's ever made.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

Yeah. I love it.

James:

But didn't he do Superman?

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

I mean, with Henry Cavill.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

Okay. All right.

Seth:

I would say this is way more gay than that.

James:

When Henry Cavill's, like, Harry Pecks were out, there were a lot of gays going, yes.

Seth:

Oh, 100%.

James:

We're gonna stop lasering now. And the laser industry cried.

Kyle:

Our most viral video is about his chest hair.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

Yeah. Isn't that funny?

Seth:

It's great.

It's either, like, the comments we still get on it, it's half women who are just thirsting over his chest hair or guys telling us we're fat and ugly and there's no way he did it naturally, that he was definitely juiced and we're morons.

Kyle:

Yeah. And we're fat and.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And even though I. Yeah.

Seth:

And. And that Drew is the gay one, so.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

Oh, my God. But I mean. Yeah. And the whole hair now it's like the gays all have hair.

Kyle:

Really.

James:

You know, but then, you know, those of us who grew up in the 80s and 90s and, I mean, I spent. Spent thousands and thousands of thousands of dollars on laser hair removal. And once it's gone, it doesn't come back.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

We should invent laser hair ad on Edition.

James:

Well, now it'd Be gray. So no, thank you.

Kyle:

Yeah. So you just get long term thinking.

James:

Yeah.

Seth:

You just get a transplant from a supple young brunette man and you're like, okay, there we go.

James:

Something. Gotta keep the illusion.

Seth:

All right.

Kyle:

Two to one, Sparta. Okay. Directing Zack Snyder.

Seth:

I mean. Yeah. I think he did a fucking great job. Again, you look. This is one of those. And I know you don't believe source material matters. It fucking matters.

You look at the source material. He did exactly what he set out to do. He set out to put motion to these images that were already there. And he nailed it 100%.

So it's a definite Sparta for me. He did a fantastic job.

James:

Total Sparta.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

I love it.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Because it does.

James:

It's that cartoony kind of thing come to life.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

And you have hot guys with abs.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

And Gerard's ass. If only. And to see that in imax.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

You're just like, I think I could stick my head in there.

James:

Oh, honey, I could stick my head in there. I could stick anything he wanted in there. Multiple times over the weekend in Palm Springs.

Kyle:

Very specific. I. I have a hard time with this. And I. I am a. I'm gonna give this a Sparta.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

It is a squeak over, but I do think.

Seth:

Sounds like it's a minor squeak over a minor.

Kyle:

Yeah. This is like a 52 out of 100. So maybe even a minor squeak. Squeak, squeak diminished.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

With a. With an augmented seventh.

James:

It's a grower, not a show.

Kyle:

Exactly. Maybe next week this time I'll get out in the sun and sun your.

Seth:

Your perennial.

Kyle:

Yeah. I just think Zack Snyder has. He has these. He gets pigeonholed, you know what I mean? And I understand that at the time, this was a.

Considered an innovation.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And. But I do think he like, leans so hard into those things sometimes that I. Sometimes it loses its novel to me.

Seth:

Sure. But this is the first time anyone, even him, had ever done something like this. As far as the visualization of the slow mo like that.

No one had ever done that before. That was not a thing until this movie came out. Like I said, it feels old now because everyone else has tried to. To do it.

There's a whole half of the fantasy industry that has tried to emulate this and they've done it shittily.

And it's to the point that it's made his signature style when he does it, even though he does it good still, in my opinion, for, like, what he's trying to do, other people have cheapened it so much that it doesn't.

James:

Look before the Matrix, wasn't it?

Seth:

No, this matrix was 99. But even that was a very different. They. They didn't really utilize slow motion.

What they utilized was setting up ring of still camera cameras that would take an image of the same thing, but from a like 270 degree perspective so they could freeze frame and then move the camera and then continue the motion.

James:

Okay.

Seth:

So they. They were kind of doing something a little bit different as far as slow motion. Yeah.

You had the, like, bend back thing, but that was really the only moment.

Kyle:

And that was pre digital.

Seth:

Yeah.

This was the first time that you really were able to do those really intense, like, slow motion, and then it speeds up and then slows back down again. You couldn't really do that before this without spending $80 million just on film.

Kyle:

I know, but I still just get tired of it.

Seth:

Fair.

Kyle:

I just.

James:

When it first came out, it was groundbreaking.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

And seeing it at IMAX was just like.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

Wow.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

We were. Wow. The whole time.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

People were clapping and cheering, having. Yeah, yeah.

Seth:

It. It was such a novel spectacle that I can see again today. It's been cheapened so terribly that. Yeah.

I could see how everyone's just like, oh, this again. But it's like you put yourself when it came out. No one had ever done done that before.

Kyle:

Yeah. And I. And I do. The reason I think that pushes me over into positive territory here is that it was a $65 million budget.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I think he said, how can we make an epic movie on a. On a grand story, but do it at scale, a small scale. And I do think it's impressive, even though I'm not necessarily sold on all the.

Like, I get tired of the novelty of it. I do think it's impressive and I do think he deserves credit for.

Seth:

Yeah.

Like, I could see subjectively how you wouldn't like it, but I feel like objectively we have to understand this, set the standard for 50% of these types of movies.

Kyle:

Yep. 3 to 1. Those Persians are getting pushed off the edge here. No offense, modern Persians. I love all people.

Seth:

We love the people of Iraq and Iran.

Kyle:

Yes, yes. We are neutral. Even though you're, like, trying so hard to be politically correct that you just say stupid things, like, worse things.

You know, it's like, we are. I didn't vote during the Bush era. I didn't even. I. I didn't even. I couldn't, wouldn't I? Yeah, Yeah. I was in the Galapagos Islands.

Seth:

I didn't have pubic Hair yet?

Kyle:

Yes. It's not my fault. I hate the Patriot Act.

James:

Oh, God.

Kyle:

Oh, God. Three to one. All right, what's in front of us? Cinematography, production design, sound, costumes, stunts editing, all the things.

Seth:

I mean, again, I think we've. We've covered this at. At length.

Kyle:

Like Sparta.

James:

Sparta.

Kyle:

Sparta, yeah.

Seth:

Whether you're a squeak over or like this, this was so groundbreaking that it's just. You cannot. You have to take that into consideration. And that alone, I feel like, makes it deserve at least a five and a half out of 10.

Just because, like I've said, it was one of the citizen canes of the fantasy genre. Before this, before Lord of the Rings, fantasy was the Dark Crystal. It was the Princess Bride, it was Labyrinth. Like, it was kooky, it was weird.

It had, like, really mediocre soundtracks. These two movies brought it into a place where fantasy could be taken seriously as a genre finally. So, yeah, 100%, it's Sparta for me.

James:

And you could. I mean, you could mute it and just watch the visuals.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

That's stunning.

Seth:

Absolutely.

James:

I mean, and get the gist of the story and enjoy it.

Seth:

Yeah. In the way that it is adapted from a graphic novel in. In and of itself. You can take every single shot and.

And put it as its own picture in a museum and just walk through and enjoy the visual spectacle of what it is.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

Sound design's incredible. Like, I think whoever did the sound design for it did such a remarkable job, really picking which sound effects they wanted to use.

Because when you're in these moments where everything's silent, but you still hear footsteps and you still hear, like, weapons hitting the ground, but you're not hearing the screams of battle. Like, the. The. The way that they did it was so good. Good.

James:

So, yeah, I have a decent sound set set up in the bedroom when we're watching. But like an iMax, the speakers are behind the screen, so. And it was like, the old school IMAX was, like, huge.

Seth:

It's not that 14.2 surround sound.

James:

All those speakers. It's like every little sword, you feel like they're right behind you. They're all around you.

Seth:

I would love to have seen what this could have sounded like if they'd been able to mix it in Dolby atmos. Because that's 64 points of audio where they can mathematically make the sound sound like it's coming from right here.

James:

50Th anniversary version.

Seth:

Yeah, let's hope.

James:

Okay.

Kyle:

This is a movie. I wish I would have seen an IMAX for sure.

James:

It's a totally different vibe.

Kyle:

There wasn't an IMAX where I grew up, so wherever I went.

Seth:

What, in the middle of Bum, Arkansas, there wasn't an imax.

James:

What part of Arkansas?

Kyle:

Well, I was born in Harrison, but I grew up in Rogers, Bentonville. My dad got shot Bluff.

James:

You what?

Kyle:

My dad got shot in Pine Bluff.

James:

That's what happens when you go to Pine Bluff.

Kyle:

Yeah, he was a cop. Narcotics officer.

James:

There's lots of narcotics in fine blood.

Kyle:

Yes, there is.

James:

Yeah. If you live in Pine Bluff, you're going to need to do lots of narcotics.

Kyle:

That's crazy Jonesboro, man. Yeah, that's eastern Arkansas.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

I was a wild party man there.

Kyle:

Yeah. It's not hard to do, though.

James:

No.

Kyle:

To be like. You don't have to do much to be wild party man in Jonesboro.

James:

I had a pub. I had a public broadcasting show on TV there, and then I was a DJ at a club, and then I was the social chairman for my fraternity.

Kyle:

There you go.

James:

Yeah, we had a good time. We had a good time.

Kyle:

Yeah. Jonesboro. You don't have to go there.

James:

We snorted your body weight.

Kyle:

Oh, that's amazing.

James:

Allegedly.

Kyle:

Allegedly.

James:

My mom might watch this.

Kyle:

Yeah, Allegedly. Mom. I go, I'm a Scotch over here.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I. I think ultimately what wins it over for me is I do love. I'm always a sucker for. Like, Nolan does this to where there's just images.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And there are some stunning images. And I think given the small scale, given that it wasn't a very big set, by all accounts of what I've read and researched, like, it wasn't a huge set.

In fact, you can see it because they're never too far apart.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

On the camera. So that's one thing that kind of annoys me a little bit, is, like, it does get. And I think maybe when I say the novelty wears off.

I think part of it, too, it. It does have a claustrophobia to it a little bit.

Whereas, like, I feel like the story they're telling is big and it does feel compressed, but at the same time.

Seth:

80 of that story happens right in those cliffs.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

So it kind of already is compact.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

So, I mean, you kind of need to feel that.

Kyle:

Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. But I do just feel a little claustrophobic. But I do love the images. I love the coloring, the intensity of the color, which.

Seth:

That was something that a lot of people had an issue with, was actually kind of the. The not even washed outness, but almost the sepia tone to everything. Like, I know a lot of people who were like that. That is not visually appealing.

But again, it's based on the graphic novel. That's a lot of how the graphic novel looked. So he. He did his job there to make it visually represent what he was adapting.

Kyle:

Yeah. And I think given the short run time, too, it's not a long film. I think, especially, like, I think my favorite image is probably all the.

The Spartans with the arrows and them at the end, like. And it zooms out. That slow zoom.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I just think there are enough moments where it was like, you know, somebody had a keen eye here. And I think, think even though this movie gets.

Gets a lot of accolades for the slow motion and that stuff, I think the imagery, the color, I think those are the things that really shine for me.

Seth:

Oh, absolutely. Let's. Let's shout out the director of photography on this one. Larry Fong.

Kyle:

Yes. And he invented. Actually, I didn't put this in my randos because it's super nerdy, but he invented different types of lighting for this.

Seth:

So that makes sense.

Kyle:

They called. I think it's called the Fong the phone. Yes. Yes.

Seth:

He also did one of my. One of my favorite movies, Super 8.

Kyle:

Yep. In Kong Skull island, which was terrible. Yeah.

Seth:

Yeah. Super 8's incredible. It's. It. It walked. So Stranger Things could run.

Kyle:

All right, next, 14 to 1, I. To quote Mad Max, can you make it epic? And we do this for all epic movies that we cover. And as. I mean, even though it's.

It's later, I think it's been rebranded. But ultimately, this is a sword and sandal movie. Yeah, yeah. And it was. It was motivated by.

Oh, it's interesting, too, because I've heard a lot of people go two ways. A lot of people will argue that maybe Frank Miller's comic actually inspired Gladiator to be made.

Seth:

I could see that that's a.

Kyle:

There's a contingency. I don't believe that, but there's a contingency.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

But I would say that Gladiator set off a chain of events that, like, it got wild there for a minute with all the Sword and sandal movies. But, oh, 100 rating this as an epic.

Seth:

I mean, yeah, I think it definitely hits every mark of the idea of what an epic should be. The visuals, as we've been talking about, the thing that I think the slow motion did, especially for it, that we've never been able to do before.

Before this was like, really see the nitty gritty of what was going on.

In those battle scenes, because before that you basically just had a group of dudes and the choreographer would be like, okay, everybody just run up against each other and go, eh, eh, eh, eh, with your swords. Or eh, eh.

There was no real large scale choreography, and Lord of the Rings really broke that a lot because if you look at the behind the scenes of how their stunt choreographer would do those fights, he would purposely take groups of stuntmen and be like, all right, there's ten of you here, ten of you here, ten of you here. Here's your choreography. Even though you're just in the background, here's what you're going to be doing for this entire shot. Same with you and you.

And all three of them would have unique things they were doing, but you still don't really get a sense of you. You don't notice it, but you also notice that, that, like, it's not just no choreography.

This really lets you get into the nitty gritty of what every single person was doing in the frame. And I think it absolutely set it apart from any other epic.

James:

It had a very, for it, very dance like quality.

Seth:

Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Especially with the rhythm of slow, quick to the next spot. Slow, quick to the next spot. Like very much a dance dance feel to it.

James:

It reminded me like when I saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, you're like all the beauty, the beauty of the fight.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

And it was, it was beautiful to watch.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

So it's a sparta for me. 100. This, this nailed the, the epic genre.

Kyle:

Same for you.

James:

Hot men killing each other.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, I think what's interesting is that all this, all the shields are plastic. They talk about this.

It's amazing how punishing it sounds and feels considering they're plastic. And like, they did such a crazy job, like, with the sound effects.

Seth:

Oh, yeah.

Kyle:

I, I, I had a hard time in this category because it is so small scale compared to like A Brave Heart. And it's amazing. We've covered so many on this podcast, different epics, and they really are so many different flavors.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Because we covered the Northman. I've covered before you came on. We did Braveheart. We've done Gladiator.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And there are just this category like it really. And I think 300 kind of threw, threw a wrench in things to say we can do an epic, but we can do it differently.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

So I do admire for that and I do think if I'm going to criticize Gladiator, my only problem with Gladiator was It was a little bit soapy, you know, And I would say the same for Braveheart, even though I love Brave. It's a little soapy.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

There is no soapy here. This is a straight up. This. If you could argue, this is almost entirely epic.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And I think. I can't say. I can't complain about one and not justify the other, so I definitely give that a Sparta here.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I think it's interesting.

Seth:

The drama that was in this movie was 100% only necessary to move the story along.

Kyle:

Yes.

Seth:

None of it was. Oh, we. We need tension here, so let's build some tension for some reason. No, it. The tension was there already.

We just needed a break from the blood and guts of it all.

Kyle:

There was no. Do you think Daryl's gonna propose?

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Which some. Some epics do. Right?

Like, some epics will be like, there's a lot of blood and fighting, and then it's like, I'm so in love with him, and he doesn't even notice. Yeah, he doesn't even notice me. Even when I wear my cute tunic, he doesn't notice. It's too dramatic, man.

James:

It's too dramatic.

Kyle:

Five to one, it doesn't matter at this point. But we got one category. A. We just got to throw this term in here. Every time there's a Snyder. Something on this podcast. Snyder. Barely know her.

Now, usually, this. This. This was the affirmative.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

On. On the Snyder trilogy. But we're doing it as a category here because he's got one of the most troubled, interesting filmographies ever.

When you look at the things that.

Seth:

Have happened to his movie, One of the most divisive directors that's ever existed.

Kyle:

I. Absolutely. That's a better way to say it. Absolutely. And whether, you know, there's really nothing objective about that.

I mean, his movies will get released, and he will not like that version. And this has happened more than once. And then he'll do a director's cut, which is twice as long and.

Seth:

Yeah, it depends. Watchmen. There was only about 20 minutes of.

Kyle:

Extra footage, but the original Watchmen was not a hated film. The original version was actually beloved for the most part. But more, when you get into the Snyder trilogy is when. And then. Rebel Moon.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Is that.

Seth:

But again, Rebel Moon. From the very beginning, it was understood Netflix wanted a PG13 version. But they told him, shoot what you want.

Just give us a shorter, little more satiated version. But then they were like, but we definitely want to put out whatever your original vision was. So I think it's and it's like, I get it.

Netflix wants as many people to watch it as many people as many times as they can. So they want to spread it, but it's like, dude, just let directors do their shit. Let directors do the things that they want to do.

And then, yeah, if, if, I mean, we've talked about it. Every now and then a director will do a movie and then it comes out to be utter shit.

And so they've got to go in and save it because they've spent $65 million on it. But it's like when you're hiring someone like Zack Snyder, let him do his thing.

Clearly, when he's just unshackled by, by anything other than a budget, he can, he could do some beautiful shit. Like, just let him work, let him do his thing. If you're going to hire him for something. Something.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

So, so are we ranking, like, we'll say top five?

Kyle:

We'll say, I would say upper echelon. Is this in his upper echelon? We'll call it his top five?

Seth:

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

I, I, I wouldn't be able to say where in the top five it is, but this, especially for it being his second real feature film, I think this is top level for him. I think it's up there with Watchmen. I think it's up there with the Snyder cut. I haven't seen dawn of the Dead, but I've heard great things about it.

A lot of people would say that is his best movie and nothing's been, has been good ever since, but I absolutely think this is in his top five.

Kyle:

Okay. What do you think?

James:

I don't know that many Zack Snyder movies.

Seth:

All watchmen. 300, obviously. Man of Steel, dawn of the Dead, man of Steel, Batman v Superman, the Snyder cut of Justice League, Sucker Punch, Rebel.

James:

Justice League was a mess. I don't care who cut it. All of it was just a mess.

Kyle:

I am with you.

Seth:

I like the Four Hour. I like his actual ver. The first one. I completely agree with you that Joss Whedon reshot most of the movie. Terrible, terrible.

But his long version that's on Max is.

James:

I feel like that movie destroyed Gal.

Seth:

Gadot or whatever, unfortunately. I mean, it definitely destroyed Ben Affleck.

James:

Well, he was pretty destroyed before that.

Seth:

Yeah. But this, this is the one that, like, made him realize he was an alcoholic.

James:

Yeah. Irish whiskey destroyed Ben Affleck.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah. So knowing that those Jello. Yeah, yeah. And now she's on the Diddy tapes.

James:

Oh, God. But she's hosting the American Music Award. She's doing great.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah.

James:

I'm sorry.

Kyle:

So now that you know the list.

James:

I mean, I put it in the top five.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

James:

But I mean, there's nothing like, I'm not going like crazy for Zack Snyder.

Seth:

Sure.

Kyle:

Yeah. Yeah. I. He's. I'm not a fan. Haven't been. And I think the Snyder trilogy, us covering that.

Maybe it was the Snyder fans that made me even less like the way you made me feel.

Seth:

But yeah, I'm banned from the Snyder cut, Reddit or subreddit because I said something positive about him. And they said, said, you can't say anything negative. And I was like, what the are you talking about? So they just banned me.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah. And they just call me fat.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

So hateful.

James:

Tr. I hate to tell you, the things people call me on social media, I can't imagine.

But then I screenshot my reply and then I screenshot their picture and I'm like, get them.

Kyle:

Yes.

James:

Because I used to block them out. And then my followers, like, we want to know who it is because we want to defend your honor. I'm like, okay, cool.

And then they're always like, the best story reply. I posted my stories and it goes from like 500 to 5,000.

Kyle:

Yeah. Which is funny because like, like, in real person is one of the nicest people ever.

Like, I can't imagine someone actually going after you for any reason.

James:

It's usually just. Why do you say she? I'm like, I just felt like it. Why do you care?

Seth:

You're.

James:

You're so gay.

Kyle:

Huh?

James:

And I mean, I'm married to a man for 32 years. Yes. I am very, very, very gay.

Kyle:

Insanely gay.

James:

Insanely gay. You know, it's just crazy things like that. I was like, posting the show and it was an all gay cast. Like, I wouldn't go to that homo show.

And I'm like, well, we sold out the vip. You couldn't afford it. Yeah.

Kyle:

It reminds me of one of your favorite bits. I won't spoil it because I want people to see it. But you have it a bit about. It's amazing. The punchline is, we're rich or oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

James:

I don't want to spoil it. Yeah. Buy a ticket. I'll tell you that.

Kyle:

Yeah, I don't want to spoil it. But he has an amazing Vidal along those lines. That kills me every time.

James:

I mean, I don't. I don't intentionally come after people, but, like, if you start it, I will end It.

Seth:

Yeah, yeah.

James:

You know, and if you talk crap about my husband, I'll destroy you. But like me, I'm pretty thick skinned. I'll turn the other cheek. I'm not run out of cheeks. Then I'll just.

Kyle:

Yeah, Yeah.

Seth:

I got four of them.

James:

I grew up gay in the 80s in the south, so I have very tough skin.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

But I also can read like an old queen because I am. And it's like I had a grandma that was just like hateful, hateful, hateful, hateful, hateful. I'm just like, honey, I can help those.

I can help that skin. Your biggest issue is you can't find a foundation that matches that skin tone. And Alex Hadley called about those roots.

Seth:

Amazing.

Kyle:

Hatred makes your skin look horrible.

James:

It does. I mean, I can deal with evil on the inside. You can, you know, take a pill for that.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah.

James:

There's no reason to be ugly on the outside.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

We can fix that.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

Up small price.

Kyle:

So I do go. I actually, I am very critical of Snyder, but I do think this is his most complete film.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Of the all the ones. I've seen them all. I think this one delivers. It's not a film that I necessarily love.

Seth:

And it doesn't have a director's cut.

Kyle:

And it doesn't. But it doesn't have a director's cut yet.

Seth:

Yeah, no, he said it will never have. He said that is the director's cut. There is no other version of it.

Kyle:

That's funny. Watching 50 Years, we have another covet. And he's like, starts posting. Like that's what he did with Snyder, like the Justice League.

He's like, oh, here's an old picture from, you know, here's an old frame. It's like, oh, and it'll make the Internet go crazy. But I do think, I think he delivers here. I think after.

This is one of those movies where after all my research and listening to commentary and reading about it, like I was more impressed with it after learning about the budget.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

And the fact that, like, they weren't going to give him money. And then he went out and put together a test reel and. And they said, okay, we'll give you money, but you have to do it just like this.

And he delivered. Whether or not I like the visuals. I think this is his most complete film.

And I think, think, I think too, like, you see in here what he's capable of in terms of just like a two hour. Like he can do not even two hours.

James:

It's like an hour and a Half. It's an easy rewatch.

Kyle:

Yeah, it is.

James:

You're like watchmen. You're not gonna re. Yeah. You're like, no, let's just watch that again.

Kyle:

Yeah, I was on a plane to Vegas and watched it and then watched almost the entire commentary in one sitting on the flight to Vegas, so. But, yeah, I. I do give him. I do give him a Sparta. Yeah. I'm not good at it. They're. They would never let me in the army. I would be one of the babies.

James:

Good one.

Seth:

I've got to roll the r. Oh, give it away.

Kyle:

Give it away now.

Seth:

Okay. The jungle.

Kyle:

I would be one of the babies they throw in the trash.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

I would be one of the adults they throw in the trash.

James:

That's your new stage name. Trash Baby.

Kyle:

Trash Baby.

James:

Please welcome to the stage Trash Baby.

Seth:

I'm a prom night dumpster baby.

Kyle:

I mean, that hunchback. That hunchback would kick my ass.

Seth:

Ass. Yeah.

Kyle:

I mean, I am. I'm very weak.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah. I'm a movie podcaster. Like, we're just not a. We're not a very. We're not a very aggressive breed. But anyway, six or. Yeah, six to one here.

Seth:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

Seth:

I'm not surprised.

Kyle:

What a fun. It was fun to finally cover this. And it's summertime. It's hot outside. Take off all of your clothes except for your. What is that, a speed. Speedo.

And get your swords out and go see James Holiday. What shows you got coming up, my friend?

James:

The big one is June 26th at analog at the Hutton Hotel.

Seth:

There you go.

James:

We're trying to find a space that works for the show. It's a modern twist of the old variety show. So we have, like, musicians, we have drag artists, we have burlesque artists, and me.

And there's usually at least one other comedian. They're like. And the whole idea is, like, traditionally Nashville comedy shows, like, hey, you're my bro. You do my show, I'll do your show. And then.

Kyle:

Right.

James:

We'll post it on Instagram and look like we're booked.

Kyle:

Yeah, yeah.

James:

I'm sorry. The secret's out.

Kyle:

It's very real.

James:

And so these are actually people that I would pay tickets, pay money and buy a ticket to go see. There's something about them that has a star quality, and I love to bring people like, oh, I think you would like him, and he would like her.

And it looks. It's not just a bunch of.

Seth:

What, you actually build a show instead of just book random people.

James:

Yeah, it's A very well thought out. When we give me video screens, I do a lot of AV and things like that. And so I'm always. I mix music and comedy and so.

And I love burlesque and I adore drag. And just treating those people like, here's a beautiful green room, here's whatever you need for snacks. You get paid the minute you get off stage.

I'm like, nice, here's your check. But it's a fun night. We'll be drinking, I'll have a dj. I'm gonna have a game called Stuff My Pink Box.

Seth:

Hell yes.

James:

Where you can put little question answer things in there. And if I draw your name, you get a free shot with me. But you have to come up on the stage and actually ask the question.

Kyle:

That's amazing.

James:

Yeah, we call it pink box privilege.

Kyle:

That's amazing.

Seth:

I love it.

James:

You don't get to touch my pink box without something. You have to give me something before I give you. But it's just a fun night. And like I go around, I do shots with people in the crowd.

I have a lot of people from social media that come. I got a guy coming from Dallas.

Kyle:

Amazing.

James:

He's like, I'm flying in. I'm like, okay, come to that one. So. And analog, if you've never been to analog, it's a beautiful listening space.

Seth:

I've heard it's great.

James:

It's like all like crushed velvet and big.

Kyle:

Love that.

James:

Big chandeliers and the sound is like all bows and like really good speakers and they'll set up a whole band. Like I may have a drummer come and do live drumming with one song. I'm doing nice. Eventually the show is going to develop into.

I'm slowly getting my hard 30 of comedy along with the 15 of music and crowd work so that I can. People are like. When I posted the first show, they're like, when you come into Australia, I'm like, that's my Australian accent.

Kyle:

Wonderful.

James:

I'm like, oh, I gotta have a few more than five people that want to come see me if we ever justify that.

Seth:

So.

James:

So yeah, we're just trying to build the dream and see if it happens.

Kyle:

And what's the date?

James:

June 26th. It's a Thursday night. The doors are at 7. It's a listening room.

So there's like couches and then there's small tables and boots and then high tables and there's balconies on both sides. We'll be entering from a 30 foot staircase from the green room. And like the green room has, like, four big mirrors, a giant bathroom.

You have a living room. It's like. It's not.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

You know, most of the shows, like, here's a dusty closet.

Seth:

Yeah.

James:

Never mind the empty beer cabinet.

Seth:

If there is. If there even is a green room.

James:

Yeah.

Kyle:

Yeah.

James:

Or you can stand by the bar. Watch out. Someone just threw up.

Seth:

Well, when that sells out and you can't get tickets to that, you should come see me at the Flamingo Lounge the same night here in Nashville. And then before that, on June 13th, I will be doing Stone Cold Sober at Third Coast Comedy Club. So y' all come out to that as well.

James:

It's a fun show.

Seth:

It's a great show.

Kyle:

All those are great shows.

James:

Do you know which one you're going to be?

Seth:

I do, but it's. It's now become a mystery, like. Like the audience has to guess who's sober, so I'm not gonna tell you which one I'm gonna be, but it'll be enjoyable.

James:

Oh, yeah.

Kyle:

I guess I couldn't do my bit about quitting drinking anymore.

Seth:

No, you could. You could be the sober one.

Kyle:

Okay.

James:

It'd be a giveaway.

Kyle:

I keep getting invites to that show. I just haven't had time, but should do it.

Seth:

It's a great show.

James:

Well, go.

Kyle:

Go see my friends. Hilarious, people. James puts on a hell of a show. Thank you so much for coming on today.

James:

Thanks for having.

Kyle:

It was a blast. Hope you come back again. Again, I'm sure. Thank you all. Love you. I'm Kyle.

Seth:

I'm Seth.

James:

I'm James.

Kyle:

Bye.

Next Episode All Episodes Previous Episode

Listen for free

Show artwork for Movie Wars

About the Podcast

Movie Wars
A panel of standup comedians deliver deeply researched and thoughtful film analysis.
A panel of stand-up comedians blends humor with deep film analysis, using their unique ‘War Card’ system to grade movies across key categories. Each episode delivers thoughtful insights and spirited debate, offering a fresh, comedic take on film critique. New episode every Tuesday!
Support This Show

About your host

Profile picture for Kyle Castro

Kyle Castro