The Goonies with Executive Chef/Standup Comedian Matt West
Today on Movie Wars, we dig into the cult classic that every ’80s kid swears by—The Goonies. Executive chef and stand-up comedian Matt West joins us, bringing his unique mix of behind-the-scenes kitchen chaos and sharp comedy chops to one of the most divisive nostalgia bombs in movie history.
We get real about whether The Goonies is a timeless adventure film or just a messy pile of pirate tropes, bad ADR, and awkward kid humor. From the infamous Truffle Shuffle and questionable shower scene, to Spielberg’s heavy hand behind the camera and Richard Donner’s chaotic direction, we pull no punches. Is it actually a great kids-ensemble like Stand By Me and Sandlot—or just a movie propped up by fond VHS memories?
Expect plenty of hot takes: we debate the best child casts ever, the dark truth about child actors in Hollywood, and whether the movie’s problematic humor makes it tough to revisit today. Plus, Matt riffs on food allergies, why Sloth might secretly be a commentary on the American healthcare system, and why sequels would’ve destroyed the original’s mythos.
And of course, we load up the “Randos” with wild behind-the-scenes trivia (did you know Chunk filmed the Truffle Shuffle with chickenpox?) and close it all out with the War Card to decide once and for all if The Goonies holds up—or if it’s just pure nostalgia bait.
🎧 Strap in, hit play, and maybe do the Truffle Shuffle on your way to hitting that subscribe button.
Show Notes:
- 🎬 Honest rewatch of The Goonies with Matt West—expect hot takes and unpopular opinions
- 👦 Child ensemble face-off: The Goonies vs. Sandlot, Stand By Me, Stranger Things, and more
- 🚨 Problematic humor + child actor exploitation: what hasn’t aged well in ’80s kid movies
- 🤡 Food, comedy, and chaos—Matt West breaks down the overlap between cooking and stand-up
- 💡 Behind-the-scenes trivia: Spielberg’s influence, Richard Donner’s direction style, and Chunk’s chickenpox
- ⚖️ Final verdict: Does The Goonies hold up, or is it running on nostalgia fumes?
Transcript
Thank you for hanging out with us on the Movie wars podcast today.
Today we had executive chef and stand up comedian Matt west join us to talk about the Goonies where we shared a few not so popular opinions about a beloved film. We talk about our thoughts on the movie, followed by the questions, which are questions that I write to generate comedic banter.
Great discussion about the movie. Followed by randos, which are the most interesting facts that I uncovered during my research of the movie. And we close it out with the war card.
Five categories, yes or no. And we use those answers to determine whether or not we approve of the Goonies. Share with your friends. Hit that. Subscribe.
Thank you for hanging out with us today. Movie Wars. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Movie wars podcast. I'm Kyle.
Speaker B:I'm Seth.
Matt:I'm Matt.
Kyle:West is back after giving us all the behind the scenes on being an executive chef cooking the realism of the restaurant industry. He brought that for chef and now he's bringing that to Goonies.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:I don't know how it's going to apply, but we'll find something food related, make it work. We're just joking. He's also a comedian, so he did.
Speaker B:Eat ice cream at one point.
Kyle:Yeah, that's true. Lots of ice cream. Lots of ice cream and a Babe Ruth.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:How do you prove Ruth was a big deal?
Kyle:How do you find that your, your career as a chef informs your comedy? What's the relationship there?
Matt:Well, I mean, it's an, it's an absurd job. Right. And I deal with things that in my day to day that a lot of people would have a hard time like understanding.
Like what I deal with, like allergies, for example. I have an entire bit about this.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:Like food allergies have exploded the past few years and a lot of chefs get upset about it. I'm not one of those guys. I feel like everybody deserves a seat at the table when I'm writing out menus.
I'm very cognizant of, like, what are the major allergies that are floating around because I want everybody to be able to eat right. But then, you know, sometimes you run across some that you've never dealt with.
Speaker E:Yeah, right.
Matt:Like there's a lady that came in that said she was allergic to the color red.
Kyle:Like tomatoes or red dye.
Matt:So when I say red, most people are like red dye. 40. That makes sense.
Speaker E:Yes.
Matt:She's allergic to an enzyme that turned vegetables red.
Speaker B:What?
Matt:Yeah.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Kyle:This is real.
Matt:This is a real thing. So I took a red Onion out there. Because red onions are fucking purple. Oh, my God. We can agree on that. And I'm like, hey, are you allergic to this?
And she was like, purple is in red. So. Yes. And I'm like, oh, my. Are we even talking about food anymore? Like, what the fuck? Yeah, that joke always kills.
Kyle:Like, that's incredible.
Matt:But it. Dude, it's. It's. It was such an insane allergy. And then you get some people that are allergic, they should just be breathing air. Like.
Like, a guy came in was allergic to peanuts, latex, y'.
Speaker E:All. Yeah.
Matt:Dairy, flour.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:I would just shoot myself at that point.
Kyle:We're doing the Goonies today, and I knew at some point this would pop up on the podcast.
Speaker B:I mean, it's. It's. It's worth discussing.
This is the second time I've ever seen it, so I. I feel like I have a bit of a uni, because I did not grow up with this movie at all.
Kyle:Yeah, same. And I've talked about this a lot on the podcast, but my parents just did not give a what I watched.
That's why my favorite movie of all time is RoboCop, and I watched it for the first time when I was five. Yeah, it's one of the most violent movies. It had an X rating when he first submitted that film. Like, my parents just did not give a shit.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:You know, and so you give me a hard time about 10.
Speaker E:10.
Kyle:But I literally skipped all that.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:I skipped kid movies. I skipped Disney movies.
And it wasn't until I started having kids, I hated that they watched Toy Story, but I finally did warm up to it because I kind of saw it through their eyes. I see why they love Toy Story, but that's why their Toy Story was Cobra and Commando and, you know, fucking.
And, you know, RoboCop, that was my kids movie. So it's. It's almost been like a reverse sear to get back to. So, yeah, I'm retroactively going back. And this was also my.
Funny enough, this is also my second time. I really hated it the first time.
Speaker B:I didn't hate it. I didn't enjoy it either the first time. This time was better. Like, I enjoyed it significantly more this time.
Kyle:I was in a really bad place emotionally when I watched it the first time.
Speaker B:Oh, me too.
Kyle:Really? Damn.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Were we in the same room?
Speaker B:Maybe.
Kyle:But I appreciated it more. And we'll get into it more throughout the show, but it really. It only got marginally better.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:I really wanted to try to, like. Yeah. Embrace It. Because I know it's. It's. There are some.
And I have a category about this, but one of the biggest things is like, people have been begging for a sequel. I don't.
Speaker B:Honestly, though, I think that's probably one of the biggest reasons why it is as good as it is, is because it is fully standalone. You're not asking questions about what happens next because they told you they bought the town back. Like, there, there is no.
You would have to come up with a whole other legend that they never mentioned in the first movie.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:And. And I'm just like, there's no. I would not be able to suspend any disbelief about there being two massive legends in the same small town.
Like, I can have fun with the idea that the creepy town legend in one movie actually is a real thing, but there's no way you're going to have two legends that both turn out to be true. Like that. That is such a stretch even for a fantasy like movie.
Matt:What I found odd about it is like they, they knew. Like everybody knew the. What the legend was.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:You know, I don't know. It was just. It was weird because I feel like.
Speaker B:That'S a thing, especially in northeastern towns is you do have so many crazy pirates.
Matt:They're in the northwest.
Speaker B:Was that the northwest? I thought it was the north.
Matt:I thought Astoria was in Oregon.
Kyle:It was in Oregon. Oh, my bad.
Speaker B:I missed. I messed that up then. Well, then still. But it's still a coastal town. There's pirate legends. Like that makes sense.
And it makes sense that, like it's the one you hear in school or at campouts and boy Scouts. Like, everyone in the town is going to know the legend of One Eyed Willy. But yeah, like, everyone's going to know the legend of One Eyed Willy.
But that's what I'm saying is like, yeah, you make a sequel and either everybody has to move to a new place and there's a new legend or you're. You're going to try to convince me that, oh no, this town had two legends. But we only talked about the one last time.
We never even hinted at the other one last time.
Speaker D:Time.
Matt:Well, there was like a scene, I don't know.
Like, I just, I tried to put myself in situation where it's like the bad guys, they find the de Bloom or whatever and they knew what they were looking at.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:You know, and I was like, if I would have found that, I'd have been like, this is weird.
Speaker B:Well, weren't the bad guys looking for the treasure before the movie even started, right?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:So, I mean, they would be intimately familiar with what they're looking.
Matt:That makes sense. I guess I missed that part, but it was just like. I don't know, man.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:You know, I will say, can we. Can we give praise to Piers Morgan for playing both the bird lady in Home Alone 2 and Ma and the mom of the family in this one.
Kyle:And the mom and I think, throw Mama from the train.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:They all look so similar.
Matt:Typecasted.
Kyle:Yeah, she's the grungy old mom who may. May or may not be on fentanyl.
Speaker B:But that's still my favorite conspiracy theory. Is that Piers Morgan?
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker D:Yeah, that's.
Matt:That's funny.
Kyle:That's.
Matt:I hate that guy.
Speaker B:I saw her. I was like, that's. It's the same person.
Kyle:That's hilarious.
Matt:Piers Morgan sucks.
Kyle:That's so funny. You know, maybe you and your childhood friends are causing a ruckus and you are looking for the treasure. Yeah, that treasure is Movie Wars.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:There's no need to look for anything else.
Matt:You found.
Speaker B:You found us.
Kyle:There's nothing else out there.
Speaker B:Look at this balloon.
Kyle:Look at me.
Speaker B:He's a whole doubloon over there.
Kyle:I look more like sloth than anything, but please share Movie Wars. I'm sure you got a Goonies fan out there trying to figure out why. Why do they like this movie? Why? I think.
Speaker B:Well, I think we'll find out a little bit as we go on.
Kyle:Yes.
Matt:I'm a little lost on the. The lore of the whole thing.
And, you know, honestly, I feel like it's crazy to watch some of these 80s movies now in the present time, because some of the things that went on have not aged well. You know what I mean?
Speaker D:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:And it's.
Matt:It's. It's insane. I don't know.
Like, have you guys, like, just with the little Asian kid, there was a lot of things that I was like, ah, that might be a little stereotypical, but.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:And maybe it's because of this movie that those things became stereotypical.
Matt:Oh, no. I mean, have you seen Revenge of the Nerds?
Speaker B:I haven't, actually.
Matt:We should do one. I would love to come back for a podcast episode on that movie because it is fucking bad.
Kyle:But anyway, especially because now life feels like Revenge of the Nerds, because the nerds are all the richest people, right?
Matt:They're trying to enslave us and plant us with chips. Looking at you, Peter Thiel.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:You son of a bitch.
Speaker B:That was honestly a significantly better Deep cut. I would. Most people, I feel like, would have just gone straight Elon Musk, but no, Peter Thiel, that's. That was solid.
Matt:Elon is a bitch. Peter Thiel is the real Venom.
Kyle:The questions.
Speaker D:Here we go.
Kyle:Is the Goonies the best kids cast of all time?
Speaker D:No.
Kyle:No. Here's some. Here's some of the most beloved ones.
Just for a benchmark, Stand By Me, Stranger Things, the Goonies, sandlot, ET Was on the list, and Hook, I think.
Speaker B:Just of the ones that I've seen, the sandlot is miles beyond where this one was. As much as I love Josh Brolin, I love Corey Feldman, I love Sean Aston. Yeah, it just. It.
Kyle:It.
Speaker B:There was.
And we'll especially get into this when we get into the war card, but there was just something that didn't feel the same level of cohesion that I felt from the sandlot.
Speaker E:Right.
Speaker B:Like, there was just something missing in this one that I don't.
I don't even know if I could fully point it out, but I don't know if you've seen Time Bandits, but that one even felt more cohesive to me than this one did.
As far as the relationship between the kids, I do think Josh Brolin and Sean Astin had the best relationship because they easily could have made Josh Brolin just the piece of shit older brother who was an asshole the whole time. But you could tell, even with the ribbing, like, he actually really does love his little brother.
Speaker D:And.
Speaker B:And when he chases after them, it's not because he's trying to ruin their good time. It's because he's, like, genuinely concerned they're all going to die. But that was really it. Everyone else had never really felt cohesive.
Kyle:For me, I don't know.
Matt:Stand By Me is just so raw.
Speaker B:I need to. I haven't seen it.
Matt:I think Stand By Me is, by far shitting on all of those, because it's. If you've seen that movie, it is just. It is fucking raw. And there's not even really anything cute about it at all.
It's just like these kids really being traumatized for life and. But yeah, for me personally, it's. It's got to be Stand By Me.
Kyle:Hell, even the it remakes. Yeah, they were fantastic kids. Yeah, I agree.
I. I think it's very chaotic, and I think they leaned into the chaos in a way to make it feel like actually being around a bunch of kids all the time that was on.
Speaker B:Actually something I was going to bring up was the fact and.
And we were I was going to get to this in the writing section, but, like, there was quite a bit of the script that I felt like the direction was just like, hey, just start talking and yelling over each other. And here's what you're yelling about.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:So it's funny you say that, because I felt the same way.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:It's hard to keep up with. Yeah, the dialogue and some of the scenes are hard to keep up with. Like, when they're, like, set.
Like, they're setting off the traps and the pirate ship. Like, I don't. Like, it's just, like, parts working together. I don't actually see, like, does that really. Is this. Is this, like, an actual trap?
I don't see how it's all working together.
Speaker B:Yeah, well, they kind of teased that with the Rube Goldberg machine at the very beginning, but. No, I feel the same way.
Matt:Well, the whole way they got into where that area was at was just weird. Cause it's like, oh, this hose broke. The whole thing is, they were trying to get out, and they're in the country club.
You know, they're rattling the pipes and shit's happening. And it's like, why wouldn't you just stay there? Because now you've alerted a bunch of people, you're down there, and they know this.
But then it was like they busted a pipe and it blew a hole in the wall. A wall. And they're like, oh, hey, here's all this. And it's like, let's go further in that. Even though we have a bunch of old men are right above us.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:That was a weird scene that I didn't feel, like, needed to be there.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:It was just like. Because old men in public showers are weird anyway. And there's kids. So it was like, you got naked men. Look, clearly, like, you watch them. I was like.
When they showed that scene, I'm like, these guys are being gay in here right now.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:You know what I mean?
Kyle:Because.
Matt:And that happens a lot. It's weird.
Kyle:And also attaching the broken penis back to the statue, that was.
Speaker B:Honestly, that was one of the parts I actually really laughed at. That was funny.
Kyle: funny. It's just weird. Like,: Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:Well, it's like, I think for me, with everything that's going on, it really just kind of shows you how fucking gross Hollywood is.
Kyle:Yeah.
Matt:Why are a group of kids putting a dick back on a statue? And you make sure that they put it back on hard.
Speaker B:It's My mom's favorite part.
Matt:Exactly. It's like, why, why are we even.
Kyle:I agree. I hate it. And that's actually. It leads into my. This leads into my next question. Is it hard watching the Goonies?
Is it hard watching any movie where there's a child ensemble, knowing how child actors turn out? A lot of the time, I would say over half the time.
Speaker B:And especially with Corey Feldman.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:How, like, he started acting in this time and then as time went on, he just got literally abused by so many producers and just people in the industry.
Like, it is, yeah, it's, it is really hard to, like, look back on that because I even think back to, like, movies like the Apple Dumpling Gang back in the 50s. And it's just now I have questions. Now I have so many questions about, oh, were those kids actually treated right?
Like, were their parents even on set with them? Or did they just drop them off and be like, cool, have fun at work today, you fucking eight year old.
Like, yeah, it's, it's, it's really hard to recontextualize certain things.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:Drew Barrymore did coke for the first time on the set of Firestarter when she was 11. I think.
Speaker B:Jesus.
Matt:I, you know. You know, and I think that's the problem with so much of media today.
It's like, when I'm picking a movie out now, it's like, all right, which pedophile can I stand to watch for two hours?
Kyle:Yeah, you know, exactly.
Matt:I absolutely hate that because it's like, why does that have to be involved to make art?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:Why did we do, like, why have we just allowed this to happen?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:And it's sad. It really is. I mean, and then when you see the movie itself, I mean, there's innuendos to things that children should not be involved with.
Kyle:Yeah, I agree. And it's, it's, it's one of the weird areas. Like, I'm typically able to disassociate myself from the actors and the filmmakers.
Like, we've talked a lot about this. Like, Tom Cruise is one of those actors that his personality can almost. Or even his best, most dramatic roles, like Magnolia.
There's still a part of you that's like, that's Tom Cruise.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:But with the kid stuff, you know, like Corey Feldman, I, he, again, I always talk about Billy Corgan's podcast, but he was on Billy Corgan's podcast. And, you know, whether it's true or not is really hard to nail down. Like, I know he was abused, but some of the Stuff he says is so.
Like, he says that Michael Jackson says that he wrote a song that would have been the biggest song in the world. Like, he says that about Michael Jackson because they had a relationship. They were, they were friends and they started when they were kids.
He actually met him on the set of the Goonies. Oh, wow. So. Because they had a Michael Jackson joke that they needed to clear with him. But Steven Spielberg was friends with Michael Jackson.
Speaker B:Right. Okay.
Kyle:And that's how Corey Feldman met him.
But they became friends and apparently, like, you know, Corey Feldman tells the story was like, I had a song and Michael said if we would have released it would have been the biggest song in the world. But then the record labels and. And like, you're listening to Corey and you're so sympathetic for what he went through.
But then you're like, but he's so fucking crazy.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:You know, but then again, I zoom out. It's easy for me to see Tom Cruise. Like, yeah, he's nuts. But, you know, good movie.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:But with kids it's hard. I do have a hard time.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:And I mean, we talked about this in the sandlot too.
But like, something I did notice in this that I appreciated was at the very least like when she accidentally kissed Sean Astin instead of Josh Brolin. At least they were significantly closer in age than like the 10 year old who made out with. With what's her face, Susie or whatever.
Kyle:Step.
Speaker B:Yeah. Steph. Yeah.
Kyle:Oh, no. Wendy Peppercorn. Sorry.
Speaker B:You're talking and I'm just like that in Sandlot. That felt way more creepy. Especially knowing that she was not a minor anymore.
But it's like at this one at least the kids were like 13, 14, and she was like 16. Like, it didn't. It didn't feel as gross.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:Why do these filmmakers want to. Like. And this is the thing. People really do experience these things.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:But they're typically the worst of people's lives. These are. These are the lowest moments of the existence of those people. Like, why do we want to. Like, the Wendy Pepper Gordon thing's a good example.
Like, if that really happened to a person.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Like, they would probably look back and say, I didn't like that.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Like, that was a low point.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Like why. But why here? We're gonna celebrate it in a movie.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:And I think it just kind of shows the attitude. Like back then you.
I guess with filmmakers, especially when you're trying to tell that kind of story, you're putting your brain in the brain of a child. In that moment. And it's like, especially with Sandlot, it was like, I think I said this on the episode. It was.
I get the fantasy of being the 11 year old who wants to make out with a 16 year old. But it's like then you look at it as an adult and you should think as an adult writing that script. This is fucking weird.
And it's like, it's weird that it got through.
Matt:I mean, they're all weirdos.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:And a lot of those 80's movies really highlight. That's what I was saying. Like if you, if you rewatch some of those movies and just how they've aged, you're like, oh, it was always right there.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:And you know, it's like a generational thing too, because our generation, millennials, boomers and Gen Xers, like I feel like they were very. Just kind of turned a blind eye to those types of things, those types of abuses.
Because if you talk to any of them, they all knew some sort of neighborhood pedophile, like, oh, we got to stay away from that guy. Or that guy will give you beer. And you know, you go behind.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:The alleyway and do some weird. Our generation, if you think about it, we really shut all of that down when we came of age.
That's when the, the Catholic church stuff started coming out. Is right around when we became.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:Adults.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:And it's like the boy Scout thing came out and there was all our generation that stopped that.
Kyle:So in Penn State.
Matt:Yeah. Oh my God, all that.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:Dude, that was insane.
Kyle:That makes me feel ill.
Matt:I know, I know. So Gen Z, you're welcome. Yes, you're welcome. We couldn't have done no TikTok dance. We would have got snatched up.
Speaker E:Yep.
Kyle:And shout out to Dusty Slay. One of his best bits is about how no one wanted to abduct him. Remember, what does he say is like. No, we don't want him.
Matt:Yeah, you take the shout out, Dusty.
Kyle:What does he say? Take the candy. We say that because Dusty also just released his second special on Netflix.
He's near and dear to the Nashville community and he's one of the greatest comedians working. And go check out his special freedom.
Matt:Let's do it.
Kyle:Free promo for our friend Dusty. So second question. Great discussion. Dark discussion.
Speaker B:Yeah, but you got a Hollywood.
Matt:Yeah, it's dark.
Kyle:I was thinking about this as a, as a parent. I have four kids. I say that all the time. Would you actually show this to your kids? I mean, at what age?
Speaker B:I think honestly like 11 to 13. Somewhere in that range is fine.
Speaker E:Yeah, it.
Speaker B:It's definitely like a little more adult than something my parents would have let me watch as a kid, which is why I never watched it until I was in my late 20s. But I don't know. I do think the story itself is very fun.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:And sure, they say shit and some stuff like that here and there, but even. Even in context, I'm like, this isn't just like straight up vulgarity.
Kyle:Right.
Speaker B:They're honestly reacting to in ways that I probably would have. So I don't know, it's. It's good.
It definitely starts a little dark, but at the same time, kids do have to be exposed to that kind of stuff at some points. So I don't know if I'll ever have kids, so I don't know if I'll ever have to ever have to make this decision.
But, yeah, I feel like somewhere between 11 and 13, just depending on the kids. Probably a good age to see it.
Kyle:My oldest is 11. You're good with 13. I think that's actually probably. There's just the dick statue thing is where I probably.
Matt:It gets weird with that. And it's just. It's like there's just some, like, some just strange things.
Like, I said that that shower scene in the country club, I felt like was completely uncalled for.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:But I laughed.
Matt:I mean, no, it was funny, but it's like, if you know what happens in those showers in those types of places, it's a lot of homosexual activity. And it's like. Which is fine, but it's like kids don't.
If it's supposed to be generated to kids, I feel like that was just a silly scene to put in for children.
Speaker B:My devil's advocate to that would be if you're making movies for children, you also have to make them for the parents. And so there. There are scenarios in there where the kids are gonna get the base level of the funny of just being a bunch of old dudes in.
In the group shower, and then the adults are gonna get the funny part.
Matt:Of they're all being gay.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:So, I mean, that would be my response to that is, is you do. And genuinely, the best kids movies are the ones that also draw the parents in.
Like, there's so many innuendo jokes in Toy Story specifically, but they're so well layered into the script that you really only get it when you're like in your 20s.
Matt:And honestly, I think the movie is. I think a side note of the movie is I think It's a commentary on the American medical situation that we have.
Because like the crime family, they have a very special needs. They do Son that they don't really know how to take care of. It's probably very expensive for his medical bills. They've turned a crime.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:To take care of their special needs.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:Well, they also apparently were gonna get his teeth fixed and then.
Speaker E:Yep.
Speaker B:What's his name? Joe. I forget his last name, but he used it for a hairpiece.
Kyle:Oh, Joe Pants. Alone.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:Joey Pants.
Speaker B:Which I loved. I loved him being in this because I didn't remember he was in it then I was like, oh, shit. Because I love loved him in the Matrix.
Loved him in Momento. Like, every time I've seen him pop Sopranos. Yeah. Every time I've seen him pop up, I'm just like, this dude is great.
He's great in fun little villain in a villain in this.
Kyle:Well, he's often. He's the. The pan ultimate, like if, like you know, platonic mold, you know, the perfect mold. The perfect mold of a supporting actor is Joey Pants.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Kyle:And that's why, you know, like, he is just the ultimate, like sixth man, you know, to put a basketball terms. He's incredible. He knocks out of the park and. And he probably could be a feature, but he just knocks it out as like a supporting guy. He's done.
He's done it his whole career.
Speaker B:I mean, have you. Have you seen Memento? Yeah, he. I would. I would consider him one of the leads.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:Consider him supporting in that.
Speaker E:Yeah, he.
Speaker B:And yeah, he just absolutely sold it like so well.
Kyle:Ralph and the Sopranos. Yeah. Is. Is awful in terms of like, he plays him so well.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:As such an awful character.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Matt:He's a bad guy.
Kyle:He's so bad.
Matt:So bad.
Speaker B:Which I should have brought this up last week, but I also love the fact that John Favreau played himself in the Sopranos.
Speaker E:Yep.
Speaker B:Like, that was just such a fun little moment.
Speaker E:Yes.
Kyle:So good. Last question and this might a few people off. Does the Goonies actually hold up or is it just pure nostalgia?
Speaker B:I would say it's two thirds nostalgia and then a decent amount of it is still holds up. But I don't think it's as great as a lot of people would like to think it is.
Matt:Yeah, I don't. I really don't understand the following behind it. I mean, the movie is just.
Speaker B:It's fine.
Matt:You know, there was just a lot of things that they did that if they would have just listened to chunk instead of making him shake his titties. They may have not been in some of those situations the whole time. He's like, hey, I don't know about that. They're like, bring your fat ass on.
And it was just like, come on.
Speaker B:Granted, though, I kind of understand because the whole time he annoyed the shit out of me too.
Matt:Yeah, I mean, he was a dumbass, but I mean, like.
Speaker B:Well, not even just being a dumbass, just his. And I don't. Again, sometimes I wonder if. If they had kept the audio on set, would I have liked certain things better?
But maybe it was something to do with his ADR or.
Kyle:The ADR is bad.
Speaker B:It's pretty bad in this movie.
Kyle:The volume is bad.
Matt:Yeah.
Speaker E:The.
Kyle:The sync is bad to the lips. It's all bad.
Speaker B:He was one of the worst ones.
Matt:He was. Yeah.
Kyle:Although he does have some of the funniest lines, definitely.
Speaker B:But I don't know. He just like. I just. I was like, please move on. Like, I'm him.
Kyle:I agree. I don't get it. And I know. And I have my own versions of this movie.
Like when someone says they can't believe robocop's my favorite movie, I'm just like, go to hell.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Literally, just go to hell. I get it. There is. There is a. Such a thing as time and place, but this movie just. It annoys the shit out of me. Yeah, the ADR is bad. The. The.
The clashing lines when they're just all yelling and screaming, you can't understand.
Speaker B:Okay, so I looked into this. Richard Donner is the director. He also did a movie called Timeline. It was one of his last movies with Gerard Butler and Paul Walker. And he.
Outside of the Superman movies, Richard Donner is notorious for directing his actors to speak over each other. Really, like, that was actually something he was incredibly well known for. And it really. It's. It's.
If it's done correctly, it can be done really well.
And Timeline is a movie where that is actually done really well because I don't know if you've seen it, but basically people accidentally go back in time with no way to get back, and. And it really portrays the chaos of that story. This. I think it added more chaos than it portrayed. Like it.
It became chaotic because of that dialogue style instead of just enhancing the already chaotic moments.
Kyle:Yeah, I mean, he also did Lethal Weapon, which is one of my favorite all time. And that one, it's. There are moments of chaos, but it's pretty. Pretty good. Like, it's like from A. From that perspective?
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:I. I just don't know, man. Like, I. I think it's cluttered. I think it's disorganized. I think it's hard to follow in places because some of the cuts are bad.
I think there's not a lot of continuity in places. There's weird moments like you mentioned with the country club and the Dick statue that are kind of like, whoa.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Like, I. Honestly, I just. I think it's so much nostalgia.
I don't think he can go back and just in even knowing how great Donner is, he's going to go down as one of the absolute best of all time. And we got Spielberg as a writer and a producer, Christopher Columbus as a writer, who would go on to do Home Alone.
Like, there are legendary hands all over this thing.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:And I just think, like, it's a huge miss.
Speaker B:See, that's also where I'm like, I would love to have read the script that Richard Donner was given, not whatever they've put out since, because most of the times after a movie is released, they'll rewrite the script to fit the movie.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:I want to see what Richard Donner was given, because I want to know if the direction in the script was actually as chaotic as the script ended up being. Because sometimes that's.
Sometimes I look at it, and when you have scenes where everyone's talking over each other, that's where I'm like, was it written that way, or did Richard Donner just be like, okay, you guys are gonna yell at each other about this thing?
Kyle:Go, yeah, well, there's a third. There's a third scenario, which is. This is what happened.
I know there's a lot of Steven Spielberg lovers out there, but as a producer, he's not great to work with all the time. This is just like with what happened with Poltergeist. Did Tobe Hooper direct it or did Steven Spielberg direct it?
Speaker B:Gotcha.
Kyle:Yeah, Hooper's name is on it. But Steven Spielberg. This is what happened here.
Speaker B:Okay?
Kyle:Donner, who himself was a better director than Hooper at the time. Hooper did Poltergeist, even though he had Texas Chainsaw under his belt. He hadn't gone on to scale up a huge film yet.
So Spielberg brought his experience here. Donner has Superman. He's the one that brought us Superman to the screen. He has experience, and he's worked with Marlon Brando.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:And he's worked with Gene Hackman and Christopher Reeve. I mean, he has experience, but the kids and all the special features in later interviews.
In fact, all the cast, including Josh Brolin, got together to do the commentary on this, which is crazy.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Kyle:And even Cohen, who plays. Who plays Chunk as a. He's a lawyer now.
Speaker B:Nice.
Kyle:Was. And he's fit. He's very fit now. He became a high school athlete.
Matt:Actually, Truffle Shuffle traumatized him.
Kyle:Yeah, it did. And I got a rando about that. But they all said that they were all directed more by Spielberg than they ever were by Donner.
Speaker B:Interesting.
Kyle:Whatever it is. And I know it's because he's one of the top three, top five greatest storytellers of all time.
Speaker B:And also had significantly more experience directing kids. I will say that.
Kyle:True. And he's. And obviously he saw something like with Indiana Jones, because there's that. The casting there. How do you say his name?
I want to say it correctly.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:I think it's Kihuei. I forget his last name.
Speaker E:Yeah. Key.
Kyle:Key. Huay Kwan.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Who would go on to win an Oscar for. As an adult.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:Everything everywhere.
Kyle:Yes.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Incredible. And so obviously Steven Spielberg sees things.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:And. And child actors. And Donner. Donner did struggle like he did. That's. There's a good random about this, but he had a hard time directing kids.
And I think Spielberg. But I think Spielberg can also overstep.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:You know, so, I mean, I do think Hooper could have directed Poltergeist in the way he wanted to.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Because he had horror cred.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Randos. This is crazy. I think the Truffle Shuffle is what people think about when they think back to this movie.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Kyle:I find it uncomfortable.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Personally. And I'm not trying to be. You know, you talked about political correctness. I was a fat kid. A very fat kid.
In fact, I was a fat adult until seven minutes ago.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:I just lost £40.
Speaker B:According to some. You are still fat as fog.
Kyle:According to all of the people in our comments, which they have not. I played a bunch of middle schoolers in basketball yesterday at our neighborhood barbecue. I owned them.
You go, you should have seen me dunking on them with my fit body. So Cohen was very uncomfortable doing it. He had chicken pox. And the red spots that you see on them, those are real chickenpox. But he did.
He didn't want to get replaced. He didn't want to get recast. So he didn't tell anybody. Donner would later admit that he was horrified that he asked him to do it.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:But it actually. What ended up happening was he. Because of this experience, he ended up becoming A high school athlete.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:He ended up getting in great shape, and now he's a lawyer. And apparently there's a lot of hilarity with people that he represents because they're like, we're represented by Chunk.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:You know, but. So his story does go full circle. But it's. It's. I think I'll just say I don't think it's funny.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Kyle:And it's true to.
Matt:Go ahead, go ahead, finish.
Kyle:I was going to say, I think it is true to childhood. Like, I think there is always a miscast person in your friend group. And I was that person a lot. I was the fat kid.
I was made fun of by my friend for being fat. Maybe that's why I didn't like it. Maybe it's why it's easier for some people to think it's funny. I just didn't think it was.
Matt:Could you imagine, like, you're. You being, like, catapulted into the cultural zeitgeist for being a fat ass your entire life?
Speaker B:Hashtag Jonah Hill.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:Like, you know, I'm saying, like. And just how traumatizing it is that Jonah Hill's a good example of it. And, like, he left the spotlight soon after that. Was never really around much.
And he's a lawyer now, but Jonah Hill, because that's how he was introduced to us. And then when he loses weight, like, there's these TMZ articles about it, and he's. He's had a very public struggle.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:With people, like, body shaming him. And it's just. It comes down to, like, when it comes to men, they don't necessarily get the support behind losing weight.
Speaker E:Right.
Matt:Like women do. Which is fine. It's not a big deal.
But, like, he has had a very public issue with his weight being, you know, what he does with it being, like, a topic of discussion. And it's like real journalists are sitting down and writing articles about him losing weight. Which. It's like.
It goes back to the food critic thing we were talking about earlier. Like, that's your fucking job.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:Like, that's your job. You live and eat off of making fun of somebody or writing an article because they lost weight. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you, dude?
Kyle:They did it to. What's her face? The. The singer.
Matt:Adele.
Kyle:Yeah, Lizzo. The other famous Adele.
Matt:Adele, yeah.
Speaker D:Right.
Kyle:Because Adele lost a ton. And they. And they went after her for losing weight because she. I guess she was body shaming the other way.
Speaker B:Well, she. I mean, yeah. She got body Shamed the other. She was never body shaming other people.
But, yeah, it's like, I hear a lot of, you know, a lot of podcasters will talk about how it's basically just the fat women who are mad that they couldn't lose the weight, too.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:Like, well, if you're going to do that, then we got to say fuck you. But I don't know.
Yeah, I feel like a lot of people see people take control of their lives and they don't have control of their lives, and they get real mad about that.
Matt:I mean, I'm pro people losing weight. Like, the body, the fat activist, kill me. You know, Like, I get, like, being comfortable in your own skin, but don't get.
Don't talk shit about people losing weight and saying you're being discriminated against because you're trying to be a fat ass your whole life, you know, But I don't know. I think being morbidly obese is. Is obviously not a good sign that you're taking care of yourself.
Speaker B:Right.
Matt:You know what I mean?
Kyle:So I can tell you. I mean, and I only lost 40 pounds, and my bones have thanked me.
Matt:Yeah, exactly.
Kyle:Just. Just feeling different every way. And again, it's not shaming anybody. I was there and kind of taking it back to Chunk like this is. But there.
He's an age where you really don't have control over that.
Matt:Yeah. Yeah. And that. That's what's. That's what's uncomfortable about the whole truffle shuffle thing.
Because, you know, now that I've gotten older and got a little bit wiser, I'm like, man, that was maybe a little fucked up because I was a fat kid at that age, too. You know what I mean? And it's just you're already dealing with a lot of crazy emotions that you've never felt before.
And then to be made aware that you are fat in the middle of all that, it's like, oh, here's just another thing that I suck at.
Kyle:And then it's got to be your whole life. I mean, obviously he's been successful, but I would hate to live with something like that. Same second. Rando.
I kind of alluded to this earlier, but Steven Spielberg played a prank on Richard Donner.
So I guess he told Spielberg in the last two weeks of making this movie while Spielberg was producing it, that he's like, I love these kids, but I can't stand them anymore. Like, I cannot. I cannot wait to finish this movie.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:And I just want to go to my House in Hawaii. And so he went on a vacation to Hawaii. God bless. I'm so glad you have one. A vacation home, actually. Rest in peace, Donna.
Speaker B:Yeah, he's dead. But anyways, love you, Richard.
Kyle:But Spielberg played a prank on him and actually brought all the kids to his house in Hawaii.
Speaker B:Oh, that's amazing. That is one of the best pranks I've ever heard of.
Kyle:Yes.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker D:And.
Speaker E:And, yeah.
Kyle:So he brings him there, and I guess Donner said, what the fuck? And he burst out into laughter at the. He was at a cookout. I guess they were cooking out when the kids arrived.
Speaker E:Survived.
Speaker B:That's amazing.
Kyle:And so. And I guess somewhere there's footage of his shock. I guess Spielberg had a video camera. It would have been a vhs.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:And see, those are my favorite pranks, are the ones that are genuinely harmless, but you're definitely playing on something that's gonna bother the other person.
Kyle:That's amazing. Last rando. And this is hilarious. This is the ultimate case of kids being kids. But Sloth's makeup took about four to five hours. A lot of it was.
What's the word for it? Like, it's. But not animatronic. What do you call it when it's not animal, but it's electric? It's robotic.
Speaker D:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:Animatronic.
Kyle:No, that's. Oh, so that even there. So it's animatronic part of it. So the eye and the ears are okay. Yeah.
Speaker B:So I thought so. Because there was one point where the ear was flapping back and forth weirdly, and I was like, is that. Did they.
Speaker E:Okay, yeah.
Speaker B:So that makes sense.
Kyle:And so the guy that played Sloth was an NFL player, John Matusak.
Speaker D:Okay.
Kyle:And I think it was maybe the only film he did, but he was a really big dude. And. And they told the kids, like, we cannot get this wet. It's gonna ruin.
And it took four to five hours to get this all on him within the first few minutes of filming. And the first scene they actually filmed with it was when they bury him and hug him at the end.
Yeah, that was actually the first scene they did with him.
Speaker B:Oh, wow.
Kyle:And they splashed water on him, of course, immediately. And ruined it. Five minutes. And Donner said, classic case of kids being kids.
Speaker B:Oh, 100. Well, I mean, it's not even that, like.
So when they were shooting the Hobbit movies, the first scenes they shot was Bilbo and Gollum and the Riddles in the Dark, because Andy Serkis went on to be the second unit director. So they wanted to get his scene over with and get him out of there. But they had his.
His rig set up for all the motion capture, including a couple of cameras on his face so they could capture, you know, the really intricate movements of his face. And again, he was warned. He was like, hey, we. We've only got a couple of these. Don't get them wet.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:First take just buries it in water. And Peter Jackson looks at the rest, like, the people in charge of that. And he's like, how many of those we have? And he's like, we got four more.
He's like, you better go make another 20 because this is gonna keep happening.
Kyle:That's hysterical.
Speaker B:It happens all over the place.
Matt:Also, like, half that movie was filmed next to or in water, which is insane.
Kyle:Places.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, don't get it wet, but we're gonna throw you in the water.
Kyle:Yeah, that's funny. Shall we find the treasure?
Speaker B:Let's do this.
Kyle:Shall we find the pirate ship and. And save our parents from, I guess, losing their homes as a group?
Speaker B:Let's war.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:These kids are like, they. They come off as orphans.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:They're not the whole movie, you think the orphans. You're like, oh, yeah, they have parents.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:They have loving families.
Matt:But it just one thing about these 80s movies, and I've talked to people that grew up in that time, it's like, it seems like everybody was trying to kill each other. Like that scene where he, like, horrible. Holds his hand and drives with the car.
Speaker D:Yeah, yeah.
Matt:I was like, what the.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:Even if I don't like you, I'm not going to try to, like, murder you.
Speaker B:Granted, wouldn't have been as funny if he hadn't been on a bike with training wheels.
Matt:Right?
Speaker B:Yeah, that was funny.
Kyle:And when you don't have screens to pacify your children like they do, like when you go to. Out to a restaurant, I'm sure you see it a lot. Like if they bring their kids, like they got their kids on an iPad.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Like now they're. They're not killing each other as much as. Because they're like, yeah, you know, so. But. Yeah, let's war. Cast.
Remember from last episode, we've made a couple of changes. We've now consolidated the cast together. We're now on five categories. As much as I hated it, I still did Truffle Shuffle for yes.
Because it just felt like we make that. No, let's make that. No, let's switch it. Well, although the second one makes a lot of sense. Goonies Always make mistakes.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Kyle:Because that's a.
Speaker B:Say Goonies, then.
Kyle:Goonies. Yeah, just say Goonies.
Speaker B:Goonies for yes. Truffle Shuffle for no.
Kyle:Yes. There were plenty of quotes about being in Goonies. I like. I do like that they have a mythology that they developed. All right, cast.
So Top Bill cast is Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, and Jeff Cohen as Chunk. That's a kind of a crazy. Top Bill.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:For real random. How do they pick that?
Speaker B:And then this come out before or after Temple of Doom 84?
Kyle:The year after.
Speaker B:So. Yeah.
Kyle:Or the year before. Sorry.
Speaker B:Okay. So. Okay. Just making sure. Because that. That is weird, though.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:The Key Guan was not in Top.
Kyle:Build Temple Doom feels so much more modern to me than this movie.
Speaker B:Really does.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:Even though it's a year before.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:I guess it's just a difference in style.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:Supporting cast.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:Corey Feldman is Mouth. The great Corey Feldman. Carrie Green is Andy.
Which, by the way, in a lot of the research I did, people that grew up during this era, she was the child crush. Like, people that grew up.
Speaker B:I'm not surprised.
Speaker E:Yep.
Kyle:Martha Pimpton or Plimpton is Steph. It almost looks like strep. Strep throat. K. Hoi Kwan, who's now an Oscar winner as Data, the Asian stereotype. And then John Matusak is Sloth.
And then we actually got Joe Panto. Joe. I always say Joey Pants because Pantoliano is so hard to say.
As Francis and Ramsey as Mama Fratelli, who she's been Mama before, AKA Piers Morgan.
Speaker E:Yep.
Kyle:And then Robert.
Matt:You Pierce.
Kyle:Robert Davy is Jake, the other Fatelli.
Speaker B:So I am definitely going to give this a Goonies. I think everyone did their job there. Again, Chunk was really the only one I just couldn't stand. And not even for the reasons the movies.
The movie wanted me to not stand him. I just couldn't get behind him at all.
But for what this movie was, and especially when it came out, I can see why people who grew up with this movie love it so much. It is a very fun ride. You get to see a pirate ship. You get to.
You know, I feel like everyone as a kid always wanted to end up being a part of an adventure like this. And that's why, like stories like this, like Time Bandits and this, and even.
Even down to the sandlot, like, there was an adventure and a legend tied to it. I feel like every kid wanted that, like, from the 60s onward. So I think these kids really brought that to life.
I thought all the villains were Fun as hell for villains.
Speaker D:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker B:It's. It's a Goonies for me. I enjoyed it.
Kyle:I. I just think it's too disoriented. I mean, I know they're kid actors and they can only do so much, but the. There's. I just think they're not being directed well.
I. I just think it's so funny that Josh Brolin would go on to be one of the greats and has done Aston, too. Sean Astin's done a ton of work. Some people grew up to do some good work from this, but it's the. The dialogue is so clashed.
And again, I know that's not the children's fault. They're kids. They need to be directed. But we've seen. We've even talked about the sandlot on this podcast.
By this time, people have listened to our sandlot episode. Yeah, there. There are situations where we've had kids younger than this.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:That have been directed better. And I just don't think. And I think the adults are horrible. The parents, so bad. It's like when at the end. That's the.
This is one of the worst endings I've ever seen. It is one of the most congealed, weird.
We're gonna shove a ton of weird storyline into five minutes, and we're gonna adopt Sloth, apparently, into this family. And, like, the parents are just so bad.
Speaker B:But that's writing.
Kyle:There's. Yeah, I know. But the performances are bad. They're all bad. And I know what you. Your thing is that, like, if everyone's bad, that's on the director.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:But I. There's not a. I. I am a Josh Brolin. Super fan. Like, no country for Old Men changed me.
Speaker D:Oh, yeah.
Matt:Best movie ever.
Kyle:It's so my favorite movie ever. It's incredible. And Josh Brolin's performance changed me. Seeing him here was painful. Corey Feldman. Corey Feldman. I love Corey Feldman.
Speaker B:I thought he was the best in this. I thought he was fantastic.
Kyle:He's pretty good. He's one of the better ones, but still annoying. Friday the 13th four and the lost Boys are two of my favorite movies. I love him.
And Corey Feldman crushes in both of those movies. Horrible here for the most part, I think. I just think there's not data. Here's the thing. The only one is data that I can sink my teeth into.
But he's such a bad Asian stereotype. Oh, it's so bad that I'm just like. Even the one I like is just a. Is a bad. Like, all Asians. Are geniuses and invent things. Like, it's just like.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Kyle:Not all of them.
Matt:And it's like he's got all that shit strapped to him. It's like, where was. Yeah, it's like, you don't. I don't know.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:Like, he's got the lights.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:But he's got a boxing glove. That's my favorite part.
Speaker B:I love those things. I loved especially, like, right at the end where he's like, hey, guys, slick shoes.
Matt:Yeah, I know, I know. It's like. And he just opens his shoes.
Speaker B:I loved it. It was so funny.
Matt:It was so weird. It's just.
Kyle:It sucked.
Speaker B:It's a fantasy movie for kids. Like, that's again, like, kids always want to have the weird gadgets. And then you. That. Especially at the end, knowing his dad's an inventor.
Like, it just. It made sense.
Kyle:I'm just going to say I'm 1 8th. I know I'm 18 Filipino, but it's my heritage. It's how I got my last name, the Elizabeth Warren. I will. Yes, I know.
I will say that I try not to play this card, but since on this podcast, I am the 1/8th Asian representative, they never let the Asians off in pop culture. Japanese internment camps after World War II. They get made fun of in movies. Harvard is now. Is.
Is discriminating against accepting them into their college because they're too smart to get into Harvard. It's like, when do we get a break, man?
Matt:So I'm going to. I'm going to agree with you on this because I just. The. Like some. Like, again, I know it's a fantasy movie, but the plot didn't feel cohesive.
Speaker B:There was talking about acting where we are only talking about acting. Right?
Kyle:Yeah, but are you saying the cast. Didn't they. Yeah, like, the acting didn't help.
Matt:The acting didn't help. The hard. It was already a chaotic plot and the acting didn't help. You know, and it was just like. I don't know. It was just. It was strange.
The parents were awful. Like, why are you losing your house? Like all this shit. Truffle Shuffle.
Speaker E:Yeah, go.
Kyle:And we've seen Donner deliver some amazing performances. I mean, Mel Gibson and Danny Glover and Joe Pesci and Lethal Weapon to. Oh, yeah, fucking Dynamite.
Matt:That's one of the best movies we've seen.
Kyle:Christopher Reeve, Marlon Brando, Gene Ackman. We've seen it.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Just not here.
Matt:Yeah, you kind of shit the bed on this one. Well, but it's a cult. I Mean, this is just to some two guys opinions. He's a multimillionaire off of that movie.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:Had a house in Hawaii.
Speaker D:Yeah, yeah.
Matt:With a bunch of kids in it.
Kyle:One to zero and we're shaking our fat to the wind here, so. Or 0 to 1. So truffle shuffle. So writing.
And that is an interesting category because the writers of this are Steven Spielberg and Christopher Columbus.
Speaker B:See, this is where I was just gonna go. Yeah, Truffle Shuffle. Because like the writing is where I felt like everything suffered. Again, you can't blame actors for bad writing. And.
And as you have to do what you can with bad writing. Liam Neeson proved that in Phantom Menace. I mean, honestly, half the actors in. In the Star wars movies in general, they're so terribly written.
At least the ones by. By George Lucas.
Matt:So bad.
Speaker B:They're so bad. He should never write. He should produce, maybe direct, but not even. That's a little questionable as far as this is concerned.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:I think the reason for y'. All the, the acting performances fell flat is not because of the actors. I think it's genuinely because of the writing.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:For me, that's where it's Truffle Shuffle.
Matt:I'm Truffle Shuffle on that. I mean, but like Steven. How many movies has Steven Spielberg done?
Speaker B:Tons.
Matt:I mean, it's hundreds.
Kyle:And then you have to say as a producer or a director.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, right. I know. So it's like, yeah, you're gonna. You're gonna miss one here and there, you know?
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:Always got plenty of misses. But too bad. His. His hits are way too, too good.
Matt:Right.
Kyle:Jaws and I mean just Jaws and Saving Private Ryan. It's like, okay, yeah, you prove something.
Matt:I mean.
Kyle:Yeah, no, I, I go Truffle Shuffle here. It's. It's some of the worst writing I've had to tackle on this podcast.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:Granted, it's no shitty of Angels.
Kyle:That's true. I would. I would rather watch City of Angels than this.
Speaker B:Oh, no.
Kyle:Easily.
Speaker B:I would way rather. I would rather so mise.
Speaker D:Those.
Speaker B:Those four movies. Yeah, you.
Kyle:I would rather be still mad about that. The Crow is one of my top 50 all time favorite movies. I would rather be in the bastardized version of one of my favorite worlds ever put on screen.
That was a complete jab at Brandon Lee who died making the movie. I would still rather be in that world than listening to these kids bumble over each other with the bad dialogue written by two legends, by the way.
I keep. It's just bad. And it's so disjointed. There's. There's no character. I left this movie.
This is one of this, maybe the only time I try to find some redemptive character that I can sink my teeth to in every movie I watch. I left this one with zero. There are straight to TV movies. RoboCop 3 was straight to VHS.
And there were characters in that I cared more about and sympathized more with than in this movie.
Speaker B:I'm still mad that you made me spend $42 to watch three, four Crow movies.
Kyle:I know, I know. I was testing you. Was the first thing we ever did together.
Speaker B:I'm shocked. I'm still here.
Kyle:You're still here. Hey, that was a lot of fun.
Matt:Are there four? Are there four crows?
Speaker B:Five.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:What?
Speaker B:And only one of them was good.
Matt:The first one was decent.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:That's the only one that's good.
Kyle:There's four more, and two of them were straight to VHS and dvd.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:One starred Tara Reid.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:I remember. I miss when she used to be, like, hot and around.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Yeah. She was on her decent on that one. She's not even. She's still kind of like. In that one. You're kind of like, oh, she's got problems.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:You know, Lindsay Lohan's making a comeback and I'm here for it.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:I'm proud of her.
Speaker B:I want to Pam Anderson with. With a Naked Gun, which apparently is incredible.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:Really?
Speaker B:Apparently it is the perfect level of stupid where it's actually the perfect. Turn your brain off. Just enjoy it for what it is. Movie.
Matt:Well, and like, those Naked Gun movies are so good. With Liam. With Leslie Nielsen. Yeah. And then I saw, like, Liam Nielsen was the guy in this new one. I was like, he is such a stiff guy.
Speaker B:He can be. But he can be hilarious when he wants to be.
Matt:That's good. You know, that's good.
Speaker B:When he was in Ted, too, and he walks in and he's just like, so I've been told, this cereal, it's just for kids. And he's like, oh, yeah, that's the slogan. He's like, so you're telling me that if I get this cereal, no one's going to come after me?
And then he comes back at the end of the movie and returns it and he's, like, beaten to shit.
Kyle:Does he say at the end of the scene, he goes, you've done. You have no idea the service you've done for me today.
Matt:That's great.
Kyle:It actually makes sense. So I actually, in my top 50 list. I have just all three naked guns in my top 50 together. Cuz they are. I grew. My dad and I.
My dad was a cop, so we grew up loving those movies.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:But I. Here's the thing. I hate remakes of my favorite movies, but Liam Neeson's the guy will see that.
Speaker B:And Seth McFarland, who genuinely loves those movies, so he's doing this to pay homage to them.
Kyle:It's one of the few remakes I'm supporting.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Anyway, riding in the Goonies was bad. Zero. Very bad directing. Richard Donner, who is a legend of Superman and Lethal Weapon.
Matt:Steven Spielberg get the bad.
Speaker E:Yep.
Kyle:And. And quote unquote, mostly Steven Spielberg.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's. It's a trouble shuffle for me.
Speaker D:It.
Matt:Yeah, it was rough shuffling and truffling.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:Again, I get why. If you grew up with this, you loved it, but it just. It was hard to get through it. Again, it was better this time than the first time.
Still wasn't great.
Kyle:What about you?
Matt:You know, I think it's just. Yeah, I think it was just lackluster. And again, it's.
It's a nostalgic thing because I think when people watch it, they remember what life was like when they saw it for the first time. Yeah, it's kind of like that movie, dude, where's my Car? Have you guys seen that recently?
Kyle:Stupid. Dude, I didn't like it when it came out.
Matt:Dude. When I was a kid, I used to love it. And then I rewatched it as an adult and I'm like, I was mentally challenged for liking this. You know, it's.
It's just. I don't know. I think. And you know, my mom used to give me shit about the movie. She's like, this is stupid. Why are we watching this?
And I was like, no, it's so funny.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:Like.
Speaker B:And then.
Matt:And then. And then now I watch that and I'm like, I want to pull my hair out. Yeah. And it's already. See, I did it. It's gone.
Speaker B:It's gone.
Matt:I'm gonna pull my beard out.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:That's all I got.
Speaker B:Just sitting there ripping chest hair out.
Kyle:Yeah, this is a. I'll have to go to delve into my shit ton scale. This is a ten of a ton of a truffle shuffle.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:This is a catastrophe in so many ways. It's all nostalgia. I'm sorry, I'm not usually this negative, but.
Speaker B:Yes, you are.
Speaker E:Okay.
Kyle:I'm very negative.
Matt:I say negative.
Kyle:Yeah, but this is. I Just don't get it. I'm sorry. If you love this, it's disorganized. The dialogue is bad. There's a lack of cohesion, and there's a lack of.
Speaker E:Of a.
Kyle:Of a plot that makes sense. I. I think it. It drops the ball.
Speaker B:Well, okay.
Kyle:That.
Speaker B:I will disagree with you. The plot makes perfect sense.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's all the stuff that fills in the plot doesn't make sense.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:It's the steps that it takes in between.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:Can I ask you guys something? You know how the part when they go into the. The cooler downstairs in the restaurant and they finally got shot in the head?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:Did they ever address who that was?
Speaker B:I think they did. I can't remember the guy's name, but they. They knew who he was.
Matt:Okay. I was like.
Speaker B:It was very quick, though.
Matt:I don't, like. That's what I'm saying. I don't feel like I ever remember that being addressed.
Speaker B:That was the wallet they found further down.
Matt:Okay.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:It's zero to three. We're truffling and shuffling away here. Even though we disagree with the choice to put that in the movie, what's in front of us.
Cinematography, production design, sound, costumes, editing and stunts.
Speaker B:Forgetting the egregious adr, because that, I think, is where this film really suffered the most. I think with the same script, you still could have gotten better performances with better adr, and it would have been a little more passable.
Outside of the adr, this is one of the most beautiful fantasy movies I've seen from the 80s. The. The special effects of the floor dropping down when she's playing the bone organ I thought was fantastic.
The pirate ship itself, I thought was super well done. It was very. The. The. The least chaotic thing about it was actually the shots. Like, I actually thought it was filmed well. It was.
The editing kind of is what made it a little more chaotic than it needed to be for me. So at this point, yeah, whatever's on screen. ADR and editing are the only negatives I have about it.
So for me, I'm not gonna say this is like, hands down, a Goonies, but it is. It's a. It's a solid like six and a half Goonies. A little between a scotch and a four and a shit ton.
Matt:I'm going to truffle shuffle it, man. I just. Again, because, like, I just like the. We've talked about the lip lineup and it being kind of messed up, and it just. I. You know, like.
Because we were talking about Indiana Jones earlier and how well that was shot and, like, edited and all that, then you can pair it. It's.
Speaker B:I think the sets of this were pretty equal to Indiana Jones.
Matt:I just flat out didn't really like the movie at all, but. Not gonna lie, but. Yeah, it just seemed like this was kind of a. Like a shotgun movie at times. You know what I mean?
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:I. I have to go squeak below truffle shuffle on this one. I. I actually agree with you. I think the last parts of the movie, the set pieces are really cool. I think the. The ship is really cool.
And I actually like the image of it on the ocean. Yeah, that was cool. And I think the piano part was really cool with the. The bones, like, playing the bones or whatever. I thought that was cool.
I just wish up until that point I was invested because I was so ready to be done with this. I was so ready to turn it off.
Matt:I know.
Kyle:And I was like, oh, these are pretty cool, but the story still drives me insane.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:So that's why I went below. I wish. I wish there was more gravitas and meaning to these images into these set pieces being used, because that was cool. But I'm just so annoyed.
Up until that point, I just kind of lost.
Speaker B:I don't know. I loved the house that they started in. I loved the outdoor setting that they had.
I thought it was really cool when they went into the restaurant and, like, how creepy it was, like, at the same time. And then. Then when they. The. The way they kept finding ways to get into the. Like, through the fireplace and everything. I don't know.
I thought again, for. For what's in front of us and what's on the screen. I thought that was the best part of the movie.
Kyle:You convinced me. I'm gonna go a squeak above.
Speaker B:Boom.
Kyle:I'm gonna go a squeak above. One to three Goonies. We got one on the board for. For good. Yes.
Speaker B:We needed two, or else we would get crucified.
Kyle:Yeah, that's all right.
Speaker E:You can't. You can't get.
Kyle:You can't get any lower here on the Movie wars podcast than just being in front of the public on a regular basis.
Speaker E:Yes.
Kyle:Last category, and here's our bro category. I called this one Love Me Two Times.
Speaker D:Okay.
Kyle:After the great Door song, my second favorite band all the time, rip. Our second favorite band of all time, rip. Jim Morrison and Val Kilmer. Yeah, and Val Kilmer.
Speaker D:Wow.
Kyle:They're all dead. All the good ones died. I call it Moment Two Times. Because the. The biggest thing that came up in my research that I was really shocked by.
Is this the strong public desire from fans of this movie for the sequel?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Should there be a sequel?
Matt:No.
Speaker D:No.
Matt:Like what? No, they're gonna make one because it's money.
Speaker B:I don't think they will, though.
Matt:That's the whole thing.
That's the whole thing with entertainment in Hollywood right now is they are desperately playing on the nostalgia of a generation that can't buy houses. But they attach to that 90s shit.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:Because that's when life made sense.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:Right. And it's like, like millennials are notorious for like. I mean, there's like a 90s store up the road here. You know what I mean?
Like, we, we desperately grip on to that 90s decade and live in this nostalgia. Because that was pre 9 11, you know, things were pre Covid. Pre Covid. You know what I mean? Like, the things were a lot better.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:There was still hope then, you know.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:Now we're like in today. It feels dystopian at times, but they're doing all these reboots. Like Happy Gilmore 2. What was the purpose of that?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:I don't know.
Speaker B:I haven't seen it yet, so.
Kyle:But our dear friend Nick Swartzen's in it. Nick was on the podcast.
Matt:Nice. That's awesome.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:But I mean, that's, that's purely a money grab. And then from what I understand, because, I mean, if you remember the end of Happy Gimmore 2, he got his grandma's house back.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:Everything was fine.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:It was resolved.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Matt:But now they're. They're doing all these reboots and they're like, oh, it's the kids of. This person's now involved.
Kyle:And it's like, what's funny too. You say that like they.
But you know what came out, like when they announced Happy Gilmore 2 was going to come out then Owen Wilson has a golf themed show on Apple tv.
Matt:Yeah.
Kyle:And it was almost announced around. It's almost like, okay, they were at the meeting. What's going to happen? What do we need? There's golf. We're going to do golf stuff now. Everybody.
All the pedophiles need to make golf movies now.
Speaker E:So you're right.
Matt:And you know, like, the, the thing is, is like what I. I haven't seen the movie, but from what I understand and what a lot of people have told me is in Happy Gilmore 2, they just show a lot of the old. The old movie.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:Flashbacks.
Matt:Yeah. And it's like literally like a Quarter of the movie is just the original Happy Gilmore.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:Which is lazy.
Kyle:Going back to the category, finishing us off, I. I say truffle shuffle. I mean, I'm kind of. I'm over these sequels for the most part anyway.
But I do think there are, like, Richard donner's Lethal Weapon 2 is better than any movie in that series. I mean, there are instances where the sequel is either better.
Speaker B:Sequels are not inherently bad.
Matt:But they. But they. The thing about sequels is they come out that are good. Like Terminator 2, for example.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:Judgment Day. Change the film that came out two or three years after the original.
Speaker B:No, it came out a whole decade later.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Speaker D:Okay.
Kyle:First one was 84.
Matt:All right, well, that's my fault. But. But it was still not 30 fucking years later.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Matt:You know what I mean?
Speaker B:There does come a point where it's like, no, just let it. I mean, like a deck for let it be.
Matt:Yeah. I mean, if you just let it be its own thing. But it's like 30 years, 40 years later. They came out in 85. That's almost, what, 40 years.
Why do I need a sequel from a movie that's 40 years ago? And then, like, all the. The Gen Z's and all those people are there like, what the fuck is this stupid shit?
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:And every now and then there. There are movies that do that.
Like, one of my favorite examples of that is the before trilogy, which we do need to cover at some point, because Richard Linklater not only did. Did he, like, set the movies nine years apart, but he shot them nine years apart.
And it follows the story of this couple who meet, and then at the end of the first movie, they. They part, and then nine years later, they happen to meet again and they rekindle everything.
And then nine years later, you see what life has been like. And it's.
That's one of those instances where he wasn't even originally going to do a sequel, but then he and Ethan Hawke and Julie Deppley all wanted to do a sequel, so then he wrote the next two movies.
Speaker D:Movie.
Kyle:No, I totally agree. And. And I. There's very few franchises that I love. Most of the movies on my top 50 are standalone.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Examples that aren't are naked gun.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:RoboCop, which I hate. Hate the sequel. I actually love the sequel because Peter Weller's great in it, but it's not a good story.
And that was actually an example I was going to go to where, like, there have been, like, Neil Blomkamp, who did District 9.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Was gonna do the. A true RoboCop too. Like he was gonna. Even though they've come up with three and the reboot already and he was rumored to do.
And he was, but he ended up not doing it. He was going to make a direct sequel to the first.
Speaker D:Okay.
Kyle:And there are moments where like ah, if, like if I could get a redo.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:RoboCop 2 would be that one. But yeah, I, I think it's interesting.
The point I want to make and I'm just, is just from my point of view as a writer, as an author, that it's easier to do in literature when you're talking specific about what kind of sequel this would need to be. They would have to make a choice.
Do we have a brand new batch of kids like they do in Ghostbusters or movies like that where we're going to have a new kid group of kids who are maybe mentored by the older goon.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:But then you have like it where they're telling both the stories of those characters as children. As an adult.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:And then you have like Brad Easton Ellis.
Speaker B:Who?
Kyle:Brady Ellis. Ellis's first novel that he wrote when he was 17 was Less Than Zero. He's the author of American Psycho, my third favorite author of all time.
But Less Than Zero was about these college age L A kids that are super jaded, they're drug addicted, there's all kinds of like dark L A shit in there. Five or six years ago he released a book called Imperial Bedrooms which was them as adults in literature you have the canvas.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:For that. To do it on screen. It. If it's not like an it horror story where you're okay with skipping the middle piece.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Literature is a better place for that.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:To do it. To do it on screen. It has to be done. And that's why people criticized it too, the remake, because of how it kind of handled.
The people didn't love the transformation. They love the it remake, Part one. They kind of felt like it dropped the ball with the adult transformations.
So it's just specific to this subject matter. It has to be handled with care.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:You have to really trust the director. And you probably need a three hour, two and a half hour run time.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:Do people want two and a half hours, three hours of the Goonies? No, no, no, no.
Speaker B:One of the two that you want.
Kyle:Three hours of the Little Rascals? I mean. No. So that's my long ass answer.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:But yeah, one to four.
Speaker B:It needed at least one.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:I, I didn't like it at all. But I do appreciate people's. I'm, you know, I'm one for nostalgia. I mean, I have so many movies that I love that are nostalgia. I mean, we all do.
This one just doesn't hit for me, but if you love it, I. That's great.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:He just thinks you're wrong and stupid.
Speaker E:Yeah.
Kyle:It was so great to have Matt west back.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Matt:I'm so glad to be back.
Speaker B:Follow his Instagram, though. What's your Instagram?
Matt:It's matthew.west.31.
Speaker B:There we go. Follow his Instagram. He'll keep you updated on anything that he's got going on. Dude. All over the place at times.
Matt:I am. I am.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Kyle:And if you come to Nashville, come eat some of his French creole inspired fusion.
Matt:Yeah.
Kyle:Chefery.
Matt:Yes. So I'm the chef at Deacon's New south by Printer's Alley. I got a new menu rolling out on the the 15th, so come by and check that out.
Oyster bar opening on the 5th. Love to see you guys there.
Kyle:I'm so hungry. I'm Kyle.
Speaker B:I'm Seth.
Matt:I'm Matt Witt.
Kyle:Movie Wars.
